Weird Feelings (Phan)

Chapter 20

Dan-

We just got to the venue and I was freaking out, I was never really shy when it came to these kind of things, but I guess it's because Phil was going to be here and I'm going to be performing with him. That's the only thing I'm nervous about. 

Is he going to act like nothing happened? Or is he simply going to ignore me and force conversation? I couldn't tell, and we had half an hour before we would actually start. I was sweating and my palms were clammy. I wiped them on my pants and stood up, walking to the washroom. 

I ran into other youtubers, having a get together and I didn't even notice them calling me, talking to me or trying to get my attention. I just noticed their presence but no sound. I splashed cold water on my face and I felt the guys looking at me with judging eyes. They don't know what's going on. They won't know and they don't deserve to know. I just met them and I haven't even acknowledged them there or had actual conversation. 

I walked out and fanned my face with my hands trying to calm myself down but my anxiety was becoming over powering. I couldn't do this. I can't do it. It's been an entire year since I've seen or talked to him and they just expect us to be friends and pick up where we left off? It's not that easy. 

I walked back into the lobby and I found Liv, I dragged my bag behind me and we got in the elevator. I pulled my phone out of my pocket so it wouldn't exactly be awkward between us but someone stopped the door from closing and it opened again. 

"Oh sorry, I-" I knew that voice and I looked up. I must have been staring for a while because he got in and stood beside me, he didn't say any words and I couldn't even find my voice. 

"Dan do you have the room key?" Liv asked. 

I didn't answer her, not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't even talk. He turned to look at me, probably expecting me to reply to her but I couldn't.

"I uh" was all I could say and they just looked at me while the door opened. I ran out and hid. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't stop. 

I actually did stop, I noticed a door that had our number on it and I swiped the card and the door unlocked. I went in, threw my stuff down and crawled into bed. 

I cried, a lot. Just letting it flow freely from my eyes onto my shirt, the comforter, and all over my face.

When I caught my breath I used the blanket to wipe off my face then someone began knocking on the door. I tried the best I could to get up and quietly check who was there. I climbed out of bed staring at the door trying to decide who it could possibly be. I walked closer and tripped over my bag, making the loudest noise possible. Wow, great, classic 'reason why Dan's a fail'. 

 I looked through the peep whole on the door and didn't see anyone. The hell? Is someone playing with me? 

 I opened it slowly and peeked through, still seeing no one. I looked down the hall and no one, I turned to my left and seen him walking away. I figured I should probably talk to him now.

"Hey! Were you just knocking on the door?" He turned around. 

"Oh yeah, sorry."

"Uh, did you need something?" There wasn't enough words in my brain to actually think of conversing. 

"Oh no, I was just hoping to talk to you, but it's fine if you don't want to." He was slowly turning around to keep walking away. I bit my lip undecided of what to say. Do I want to talk to him? 

"Yeah, no it's fine we can." I went back in holding the door open for him, shrugging my head down hoping he would walk in. And he did. 

Inside I smiled to myself, I wasn't sure what exactly we were even goign to talk about but just the fact that we were even starting to talk again was making me happy. I'll have my friend back, hopefully.