Don't Get Dead | TWD | Volume 1

[55] What Is It Good For?

Today was the day.

Everyone was ready, getting their things for the fight. The gear squeezed my chest awkwardly, making every breath hurt, but it didn't matter. Soon this would be over, and the pain I felt right now wouldn't matter.

We had a plan, had things set up inside the prison to scare the Governor and his men. And the walkers were still in the tombs. Maybe they could do most of the work for us, leaving only a few people behind.

I grabbed the unfinished nail bomb and put it in the bag, before leaving my cell. Carl was also just coming out of his own room. "Ready to head out?"

Carl rolled his eyes as he walked past me. "No, I should be staying here."

From what I heard the night before, when the plan had been decided, Rick and Carl got into a little fight about what he wanted to do. Carl wanted to stay and help fight, which Rick obviously disagreed with. It seemed like Carl was still not over that idea.

"Hey," I placed my hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "You don't want to be here, trust me."

"You're staying," I couldn't see his eyes under the hat, but I could tell that he was barely looking at me, not even meeting ym gaze.

"I'm trying to protect the group," I said. "And it doesn't matter what I'm doing."

"You shouldn't be here either," he argued, staring off to the side. "You're here because my dad let you fight."

I stared at him for a little, trying to work out what he meant by that. "Rick doesn't let me do all this stuff because he trusts me more or something," I said. "He doesn't want you getting hurt doing anything this dangerous."

Carl didn't seem to get it, or maybe he did, not that I could tell because the same scowl he'd been sporting for the past two days didn't leave his face. His expression remained unchanged, and he shook his head as he listened to me.

"Compared to you, I'm expendable," I continued. "I do all this stuff so you don't have to."

"I should be here," Carl repeated. "I should fight."

"You don't want to fight," I said. "You don't. It's not fun or expected of you. You don't want that kind of responsibility."

I don't want that kind of responsibility.

Carl just scoffed and turned to head outside again. I followed him, not to talk anymore, but to put the supplies in the car to be taken away.

Rick tried to stop Carl, maybe to hug him or something, but Carl just pulled away from his grasp and marched to the back of the car, putting his bag inside. Rick glanced at me, but I shook my head.

Don't ask.

When I dumped my yellow bag in the car, I turned towards the prison, heading inside again to grab more things. I would help the others while they were busy. On my way back inside I passed Michonne, who stopped me.

"Need any help?"

"Yeah, just a little," I agreed. "I can carry all this stuff, it just hurts."

We grabbed the rest of the bags for everyone who was busy outside, and I held one on each shoulder before waiting for Michonne to help me bring them outside. We walked together, neither of us saying a word.

Unable to bear the silence as we walked, I turned to Michonne. "I'm sorry. I should have done more to stop him."

"He changed his mind," Michonne said. "He needed to think about the deal, to protect everyone here. I would've done the same thing."