Don't Get Dead | TWD | Volume 1

[50] Happy Go Unlucky

A tap on my leg made me stir from my uncomfortable position on the ground. The first thing my eyes focused on was silver; the metallic pole continued going up until I saw Hershel in front of me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up a little as he nodded for me to follow him. I removed Rick's hand from my own and pushed myself up.

I stretched out as I stood, trying to twist the knots out of my back when I felt the weight of the riot gear stopping me. I followed Hershel out into the cell block, and he stopped towards the middle of the large hallway, next to the stairs that led to the upper cells.

"No one stopped Tyreese from leaving, I imagine," due to the fact that I couldn't see any of them, and that he did nothing to correct me, I imagined I was correct in my assumptions. I ran my hands over my face, already feeling the frustration building up. "Did anyone at least go on watch?"

"Carol did," Hershel nodded. "Glenn's taking over for a little while, but he did want to talk about what the next steps are."

I sat down on the steps in the middle of the cell block, resting my elbows on my knees. "Rick said what our next steps are."

Hershel gave a nod, but spent some time thinking about what he wanted to say next. I know what he wanted to say next, what he wanted to talk about next. After what had happened the night before, Rick losing it on the group, it was very clear.

"Rick, he—"

"—He's grieving," I cut him off, worried about what he would say next.

Hershel again gave a nod, but he seemed like he had another point for waking me up. "The others were scared."

"They had a gun pointed at them, seems like a reasonable response," I said. "He's exhausted, hasn't slept for the past two days and marched himself into war. On top of all that, his wife had just died."

"I understand. We've lost a lot these past few days, Lori, T-Dog, our feelings of security. Rick has had to shoulder not only the losses, but the responsibility of them," Hershel said, agreeing with me. "He's taken on this role for us, since leaving the farm, it's a heavy weight. I've been here for it, Ace, it's not something you need to defend or explain to me."

"He wouldn't hurt us," I stated firmly.

"No, he wouldn't. But can you tell me, in those moments, Rick was acting in his right mind?" Hershel asked. "I know what it's like. You know that I know, I've been there. You've seen me there."

After knowing Hershel for a week, I was probably more involved with his grief than I should have been. He had the barn when his wife and step son died, when he couldn't handle or believe that they were really dead.

"Yeah, and I also remember being a big advocate for you not being delusional after what happened, too," I said. "I know Rick wasn't himself, I know that's not how he acts. But I also know that if we act scared of him or avoid him he won't get better."

"Grief is overwhelming, and complex," He continued "It can take so much from us. Rick wasn't himself in there. I don't believe he would've hurt anyone on purpose, you're right, but that wasn't our Rick."

"So, what, then?" I asked. "I don't understand what you're saying, it's not like anyone else was jumping up to take his gun."

"He could've hurt you."

"Or himself. He was hallucinating Lori, and he certainly wasn't pointing the gun at Tyreese, so who do you think the next target was going to be?"

Hershel didn't answer, but seemingly he reached the same conclusion in his head that I came to the day before. I was worried that Rick was going to hurt himself more than anyone, despite the fact that the entire group was scared.