part 10- trapped

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Charlie's pov:

Oh my god. I just kissed nick nelson. Sorry. Nick nelson just kissed ME. HE LIKES ME? OH MY FLIPPING GODDDD. *ding*

N- wanna go to the park?
C- yeah, meet you there in 10?
N- yeah okay

The park was our spot to go now, but now I've actually fully made out with nick, I don't know how I'm going to feel.

"Charlie!!" A voice from behind called my name, it was nick! "Hi" I said, awkwardly but I don't know why? "Nicholas!!" For God's sake. Why was imogen here. "What are you doing here imogen" "well I'm just getting you away from this, you know, trapped situation." "What do you mean?" " with charlie of course, he's a dork, you can't hang out with him, hang out with me" "I'm good thanks" "No nick, your coming with me" Her voice raised this time. "He said, he's good." "Speak up you idiot I can't hear you" "HE SAID, HES GOOD, NOW GO" "jeeze" I've never raised my voice that much apart from at Ben, but i could tell Nick didn't want to go.  Nick hugged me. I hugged him back. "I want you charlie. I need you" "you've got me" I replied. The Best feeling ever.

Nicks pov:

I cupped Charlie's cheek and lifted his head up, "kiss me" I said. "Your wish Is my comm-" I was already kissing him. I wanted charlie, forever.

Me and charlie have been going round eachothers houses ALOT lately, and I can tell Charlie's feeling better, he's been eating more, and has stopped worrying, i think so anyways? I haven't told charlie but I've been researching what my sexuality could be. I think I'm bisexual but I don't know for sure? I mean I've liked girls in the past, but now I like charlie. Charlie spring. A boy. Anyways he's coming round , just to chill out. *ring* oh wait he's here!!

"Charlie!!" My mood rised as soon as I saw him. "Hey," charlie didn't say this with happiness? "Are you okay?" "Yeah yeah, just had a fight with my mom that's all" "do you want to talk about it?" I ask as charlie starts walking up stairs "no." When we got to my room charlie slumped on My bed "can I have a hug" "Anytime" His arms wrapped around my waist, gripping on tight. Either he was showing love, or he was lying to me, saying he's fine. I didn't want to ask him, I had a feeling it would startle him.

Charlie's pov:

I hugged nick and buried my head into his shoulder, tears started rolling down my face and i didn't want him to know. I gripped on tighter hoping nick wouldn't pull away and I could get myself together before he did. I quickly let go and turned around "be right back, just going to the loo."

Nicks pov:

Charlie went to the toilet, and I just say on my bed. That's when I realised my top was soaking wet where charlie had his head, he was crying. Somethings happened.
He came back and I patted the bed, informing him to sit down. I grabbed his hand and asked calmly, "Char, why were you crying?" "You won't hate me if I say it, right?" "No, no of course not."

Flashback to the night before.

"Charlie, do you want dinner."
"No, I ate at taos"
"I made your favourite though, stir-fry!"
"I'm not hungry."
"CHARLIE! I made this especially for you."
"MOM IM NOT HUNGRY."
"DONT YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME YOUNG MAN"
"I've had dinner, I'm not eating again."
Jane grabbed Charlie's arm and pulled him to the table.
"You will not, give your own mother this attitude. Charlie do you hear me."
"What attitude? I'm only saying I'm not hungry."
"Charlie, if you don't eat this, your grounded. I have made this especially for you, and you will eat it."
"No, I'm not eating it."
"CHARLIE FOR GODS SAKE, YOU HAVE HARDLY BEEN HERE AND IM DOING SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU."
"What, forcing me to eat?"
"you know what, you will not talk to your mother like that, get out the house."
"WHAT WHY IVE DONE NOTHING"
"I said get out."
"YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME, MOM. I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING. IF YOU DIDNT NOTICE ALREADY. IVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO EAT. AND FOR ALL I KNOW. YOU DONT CARE. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THAT I GOT BLOODY SEXUAL ASSULTALTED. IM LEAVING."
"Charlie, wait"
"You told me to leave, I'm leaving."

Charlie's pov of the flashback:

I stepped outside the house. Im trapped in my own feelings and I don't know what to do. I can't get to nicks. It's too late and I don't have My phone. I don't have anything, but a whole lot of hate. For myself. I HATE MYSELF. IM NOT PERFECT AND NEVER WILL BE. HERE WE GO AGAIN. ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK.

Nicks pov:

Charlie explained everything to me. How he slept outside all night. Well he didn't even sleep. And his mom didn't even come looking for him. I pulled him into a hug. "Char, I'm so so sorry." He couldn't reply he was crying to much. "I hate myself nick, I'm worthless, I'm ugly, I'm charlie." "No, no your not, your the most perfect human being ever. Don't beat yourself up about this, charlie. Please don't, it's not your fault." He had fell asleep. I carefully lay backwards trying not to wake him up. We stay in this position for about 5 hours.

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