With doubts you can't win

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HEY! So this is my first chapter of doubts! I just want to say that I'm really looking forward to writing this and that I can't wait for you to read this! I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!

I'm going to tell you something I've done or something about myself before each chapter so that you readers can get to know me on a more personal level!

::::: last year (I was 13) I went to France for 3 months by myself for an exchange... Only thing was... The girl I got paired up with was really mean to my animals and was very judgmental! I wish I had a better experience there but now I can almost speak french fluently so that's a plus! :::::

"The worst kind of pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling." ~Lucy Heartfilia

CHAPTER 1

I'm weak....

I'm scared....

I'm useless....

I'm trouble....

I'm not who they think....

My team is fighting to save me, again. I watch as they take down the giant ogre, which attacked us while we were heading home from a job. I got hit in the beginning of the fight, I'm weak, they shouldn't have to deal with protecting me all the time. I want to leave sometimes, run away. But I can't bring myself to do that. I love them, even if they fight with each other and they invade my personal space.

I try to stand up but it's no use, my ankle is pretty messed up. It's bleeding and I think it might be broken. But I don't want to look at it. I don't want to see a bone sticking out. I need to help, I need to do something. Wendy just got hit up against a tree and Gray is getting up after a fall off of the giant things back. I need to do something. I pull out my celestial keys and grab Leo's golden zodiac key. I summon him here with the power I have left. "Help... Them!" I say while gasping in pain from the amount of pressure now building up, not only on my leg but also on my insides. I think when the ogre smacked me I broke more then just my ankle. Now that I'm using my power to keep Loke here I'm having trouble breathing. It's painful. I don't have much strength left but I will try to use all of it to help my team.

Loke hesitates before running off to help the others. He's attacking the ugly, pale ogre with all he's got and all I can give him at the moment. I look over at the red head. Erza is requipping rapidly between different armors to try and confuse her opponent. The ogre is smart, not like what you would think. He understand our powers. He doesn't get hit very often. Even Natsu doesn't hit him that much. I know this'll be a really tough fight for them. I wish I could do more to help. I'm starting to see spots in my vision. That's the moment I finally look down, I'm sitting in a pool of my own blood. Not only am I bleeding out of my ankle, but I also have a huge slice in my side. I look at my ankle closer and sure enough there is my bone. I then slowly reach up to my side where I have the huge cut. I gently place my hand on it. I wince in pain every time my finger makes the slightest connection.

I look back up to see the ogre has finally fallen. I see Loke start flickering. I can't keep him in the human world anymore. He disappears, then I see Natsu running towards me. I think he might be saying something but I haven't been able to hear what's been going on for a good 10 minutes. He's probably 20 feet away when I finally fall backwards. I stare up at the sky. The stars are out. It looks beautiful. I could go like this, I think. It wouldn't be so bad. But as my eyes start closing and I can feel my breathing slowing I know that I'm fooling myself. On the inside I'm terrified. I'm really truly scared. It's at this moment I let myself realize I don't want to go. Then my eyes slide shut and everything from the outside world disappears.

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I run up to her side. Her eyes are closed and I can't tell if she's breathing. We just finished beating up that stupid ass ogre. I bend over her and place my hands on the wound in her side. I have to make it stop bleeding. She's already bled out so much. The blood surrounds her, it's all hers. "Lucy?" I reach up and wipe the tears away from my face before any of my team mates see them. "LUCY!" I shake her a little. Her head rolls from one side to the other when I do.

"Natsu! Stop it! You'll only make things worse! Back up and let Wendy handle this!" Erza says sternly. To a stranger Erza might not look like she cares that one of her friends might be dea..... Hurt. But I can see the concern in her eyes. Even though I don't want to leave Lucy's side I get up and let a crying Wendy go over to try and tend to some of her wounds.

"It's no use Wendy. You don't have any power left." Carla says after a few minutes.

My breathing catches and I feel like crying again. I'm pacing on the edge of the forest right off the path. "YOU HAVE TO FIX HER!" I yell finally giving in to the tears that now make my cheeks feel hot. "Natsu." Gray whispers to me. "You have to!" I cry out a lot more quietly than last time. I shake my head then slump down against a near by tree trunk.

"Don't worry. She'll be fine." Gray says hopefully.

The rest of the night no one says anything. I'm carrying Lucy. She is still bleeding. It leaves marks on the dirt road that we're walking on. We just have to get her back to the guild. Someone will help us there. I hold her tightly like its the only thing holding her back in the living world. I always get scared when she gets hurt. I know she holds back when she fights. But I don't think she realizes she does. I know she could protect herself more, and now I wonder why she doesn't?

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Let me know what you think! Love you all! Thanks for reading!

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