Mateless

28: Confessions

Alexa's blue eyes swept over me  as I paced up and down. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? I groaned inwardly. I wasn't planning on saying anything till I got to the forest but when I saw her in that dazzling dress, my senses went haywire. The way the moon's soft, warm glow followed her as she walked towards the car and, glancing at the girl behind me now, still following her and she leaned against my car. Obviously waiting for me to explain. Fuck!

"You want to talk or pace all night?"  Myeyes snapped to her. Her right eye brow was raised in a perfect arc, her lips pursed to show she was really annoyed. She still looks so damn beautiful.  Might as well bite the bullet.

"We can't go back and forth for the rest of our lives. We need to find a way around this." Well, I didn't exactly bite the bullet but I spoke didn't I? I kept my eyes trained on her. Her eyebrows had relaxed and now her face was blank. Though,  I thought I saw a flicker of emotion in her eyes but it was gone before I even registered it. 

"What do you suggest?" Her face was still blank and her voice was void of emotions, even coldness. I glanced away and squeezed out the two words that had been plaguing me ever since I lost her trust.

"Acception or rejection." I looked down, fearing that I would only see fury and hate swirling in those beautiful blue orbs. Alexandra didn't say anything, only sighed. I heard her heels click on the ground, moving closer and closer until......

She raised my chin with her left hand and cupped my cheek with the other. She forced me to meet her eyes and when I did, all I saw were oceans of affection and concern. I was confused. Isn't she supposed to be angry or something?

"You don't have to be ashamed for wanting freedom." She told me. That made me think. Why was I ashamed? Me, a big bad alpha, ashamed?

"Push away your pride and ego for once." Ash berated me. I guess he is right. Look where they got me. I was welcomed back to reality by Alexandra's hand stroking my hair. Her touch was soft and gentle, so soft I big back a moan. I was probably sex deprived. My eyes caught hers again. She leaned closer and my hands went around her waist to make the job easier.

I leaned in for a kiss but she had other plans. Her lips brushed mine in an intimate gesture and went in to nibble my lips lightly teasing me.  I felt deprived. A sudden hunger came over me. I hadn't tasted her lips in so long. Each time we met she didn't allow intimacy because it would make us hungry for one another.

My other hand cupped her cheeks and hers did too. She finally decided to stop teasing me and captured my lips in hers. She tasted like sweet honey. The kiss started to slow and passionate after which it is escalated to rough and a fight for dominance. Our lips moved in sync with each other but my tongue fought hers to access her mouth. I explored the sweet mouth she had  given to my satisfaction before pulling away to catch my breath.

As we panted, her forehead connected with mine. We didn't speak for a while, basking in each other's presence until Alexa decided to break the silence,

" I love you, Ryder but we can't be together." She paused, clutched my hands tightly and continued,

" Let us pray to the Moon Goddess that our relationship will work out better in our next life. But in this life I fear—” She broke off and her expression soften or rather, contorted in pain; emotional pain that consumed us, tearing apart our insides in a wild rage, yet we knew this is for the best. Tears watered her blue eyes, only one escaping their compartment. I tried to wipe it but she clutched my hands tighter.

"Let them flow, my love. I deserve it. Please forgive me. I love you to the moon and back. You are the light of my world, the air that I breathe, the water I drink. You filled up the void that was growing within the confines of my lonely heart. The only one I have ever loved. Looking back on my life now, you're the only good I've ever done."

" Alexa—"

" You've taught me a lot of things. Love, patience, compassion. I realise now that perhaps if I had been patient with our relationship, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
"  Don't say that." I snapped.
" Oh, but it is true, mi amor. My love for you is deeper than the deepest oceans, hotter than the hottest desert yet I failed to be patient. My shortcomings have led me here but I do not regret them. Life is too short to be regretting. I implore you, I plead with you, my Love. Please forgive me. I did not mean to hurt you the way I did. I'm lucky to have known you. But I know, I know, I know—" Her voice cracked mid sentence. She couldn't go on. She sobbed uncontrollably in my chest. And I realised that even if we were no longer mates, I would still do anything for the woman I love.

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Awwwwwww. So cheesy. I don't know about you but I cried when I wrote and re-read this chapter. It hurts to separate this couple but it cannot be helped. Once again, do not hate me. Also um
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August 26, 2023.
Luna❤️.