The True King of Lust (Male Minos reader x Helluva boss/Hazbin hotel)

HB E4: C.H.E.R.U.B

*3rd person pov*

The episode opens up to a shot of Heaven’s golden gates. The gates open and “Cherub Towne” is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.

Cletus: "Well, howdy! I’m Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!"

The Cherubs begin singing the C.H.E.R.U.B. Jingle.

Cuts to a man jumping out of an airplane. He pulls the ripcord to release his parachute, only for it to snap off instead. He splats onto a rock while a censoring cloud bubble reads “OWIE!”

Colly: "Does it make you want to cry?"

Cuts to another person getting run over by a speeding train from a tunnel as “Oh No!” appears in a censor cloud.

Keenie: "When your loved one has to die?"

Scene goes to another man who accidentally shoots himself in the face with a shotgun. “Oopsie!” is seen in another censor cloud.

Cletus: "Does it hurt you through and through?"

Clip shows a struggling man’s face turning blue in a hangman’s noose. A stylized version of Cletus's head fades into view with a sad face and a tear running down his cheek.

All: "When your face is turnin' bluuuuue?"

Colly: "Well, luckily for you..."

Keenie: "There’s somethin' we can do!"

Cletus: "We can help keep them alive,"

All: "So you can watch them thrive!"

All three pose together.

The orange C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears with a registered trademark symbol. The letters appear as they are sung.

All: "‘Cause here at C.H.E... R.U.B.!"

Cletus rescues a woman from a pack of wild animals. He then pushes a scared Colly in front of them, as she holds a plank of wood with a nail in it.

Collin: "We’ll save your honeybun from dying violently!"

The C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears again.

All: "‘Cause here at C.H.E....R.U.B.!"

Cletus is shown waving a dismissive hand at a person handing him a handful of dollar bills.

Keenie: "No, we never even ask a fee!"

Colly and Keenie give each other a hug in a yellow heart background.

Colly: "Because good people spread the love!"

Small hearts of light spread out around a spinning Earth in space.

Keenie: "And we’re here for all above!"

A stressed Colly rapidly writes on piles of paperwork in an office.

Cletus: "We do the paperwork for you!"

Keenie lifts a boulder from a woman trapped under and flattened by a boulder, who gives her a thumbs up.

Colly: "And the heavy liftin', too!"

The three Cherubs comfort a horribly wounded man after a car crash. He is bleeding profusely from a neck wound.

Cletus: "So sit right back"

The three Cherubs appear back on the screen and sing in harmony. They pose some more.

All: "And let us bless a soooul for you!

Oh, we... are the C.H.E.R.U.B.!"

The Cherubs appear on a small, old-fashioned TV which zooms out onto the I.M.P Headquarters. Blitza blasts the TV with her flintlock pistol, and it explodes.