Her Roads

The people pleaser

I wish I would've known about this change
I wish I would've ended the bane
The endless thoughts led to devour two precious things
What I thought was my love
And what was my love
I lost both
And won my happiness
But effortless
For the feelings of the days which turned to
tears
And wasted years
I used to tell not to tell your feelings and not to overdo them
But here I am
Tending to find myself between the words I gave

—————————

I'm standing across the keyboard not knowing how to write
How to explain my words

This never happened to Sam

Because for Sam her only way of getting out of a bane was by writing how the song of hurt played her.

But I guess the main reason why is Sam the way she is now

Is that She is no longer seeking people's pleasure

Instead, she is seeking for her own.

I looked and searched through thousands of reasons why I wasn't happy.

Why I couldn't be me?

Of why no one tried to understand me?

Because all along I was doing a full-time job under the name of a relationship

The best part is when I realized
And got me out of it

And when I did that, 95% of my friends became 20%.

I thought that if I don't make my friends laugh then I'm not a good friend

If I didn't try to be there for them at my weakest point, then who would be with them?

If I did have fun instead of being with them, then I was feeling guilty because I'm not doing it with them

But when I saw they were doing everything that I was afraid of doing without them, I felt comfortable

Because if they can do it that means I get the chance of doing the same things too without feeling guilty.

It took me nineteen years to realize that I don't need to think like I belong to someone when I'm in a relationship

No one did for me

And no one should

Because we are not here to please anyone based on our time our happiness and our lives.

So I told myself

"Sam have fun, this is your time to know yourself to understand yourself to be yourself."

And I didn't care if anyone talked about me or disliked for being me

Because I'm here to live as the way anyone else gets

And if you want to help or be with anyone

Try to be you

Try to give love, care, emotions in the amount that you wouldn't feel you're giving your self less

Try to give because you wanted to give someone something not by forcing yourself

And the last thing I'd say is

When you give don't say:
"I gave that person everything, I was there for them at their weakest point but they are not here for me now."

Because like my mom says

"If you do it for the slave thousands of years would go by and they would still be ungrateful, but if you think about doing it for god then god will reward you just because you thought good, so imagine doing it for him?."

-44-
.