Her Roads

Heavy hearted

Through the dusty thoughts of my Brain

Through the pain, I felt inside

I understood how I needed to act
For now...
Till the next chapters

I'll find new ways.

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I've been asking for many answers
And whenever I asked

I found more question marks.

I grew up in such an environment where compliments are something not very viral to say

If we didn't like something, we would speak the truth or not speak about it.

But lately, I was throwing Myself to swim in a sea that was filled with sharks and plastics

You either die because you'll get killed

Or

You'll die because of the dirty water.

I found acts and attitudes where it was hard for me to comprehend with.

Well, to be honest

At first, I liked it

Knowing the tea of the day

Saying the truth about who you don't like

And one of the things I hated the most

Where I learned to bring up new bad acts about people and tell them to almost half of my friends.

I was turning to the bad way let's say

Because whenever I said
"No that's not ok"

They'd say
"Oh, sam stop being so shallow and start being strong."

Then I said
"Let me try to get along with everyone"

And I wish I didn't

Day by day

I started lying, I was becoming fake

As if the world is not including enough fake people.

My mom told me once
"Treat everyone the way you like to be treated"

Then here ... I remembered

I'm not treating everyone the way I treat myself

Things started to get bad for me

People started being fake to me

It was a loud fakeness shouting in their eyes.

I didn't like it
Most of all I didn't want it

I said if being strong and popular
means and takes you to lie and complement every bad and disliked acts

Then I dont want to be strong
Nor do I want to be known as that

Then id love to stay shallow
And be naïve.

Because nobody deserves to be laughed at in behinds

I wouldn't accept that for me

Than why would I accept it for anyone else, no matter who they are

If this means that I'll be alone for the rest of my life, so it be.

Because I don't accept my own actions towards myself

Then why would I accept it for someone else?

And yes i tried to tell them to stop

But my main mistake was

I didn't try to tell me at first

Like they say

"If you want to change the world to better place, than start by changing yourself at first."

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