Equilibrium (Grey's Anatomy Japril Fanfic)

Chapter 12

Why do bad things happen?

Everyone has their own answer. For some it's bad karma or a punishment. Some believe that in order for something good to happen, a bad thing has to happen first. Some see it as a teaching mechanism, while others just think things happen because they happen.

Jackson is one of those people. Bad things happen because that's just how the world is. There is no greater force causing it, just sometimes bad decisions, coincidence.

But who has a different view? His fiancée...or girlfriend, he's not quite sure what they are now. She believes that all things happen for a reason. That God, the universe or whatever causes bad things to happen as some sort of punishment or, in their present situation, a sign.

FLASHBACK

It was two days after Jackson's wedding day/ accident/ surgery. He was done with it all, and wanted to go home. He wanted to spend time with his fiancée and daughter, not the nosy nurses. To his relief, Owen and Callie thought the same, and he was going to be released the next day, as long as he promised to take it easy, and stay off his feet.

He sat in his bed, counting down the hours to his release, when he noticed April. Physically, she was sitting in the chair next to his bed, mentally, she looked like she was somewhere else.

This wasn't the first time he had seen her like that either. After his surgery, she always seemed to be dazed, like she was thinking a lot. First he had thought that it was just her worrying, now, he thought that it might be more.

"April..." he said trying to get her attention "April!"

"Yeah?" she answered after his second call getting up from her seat and going to his side "What's wrong? Do you need anything?" she added looking him up and down

"No, I don't need anything, I'm fine" he smiled at her concern

"Oh" she answered

"I just wanted to know what's going on in that head of yours"

"Oh" she answered again, realizing that he was aware of her dazed out state

"What are you thinking about?"

"The wedding" she hesitantly answered

"What about it?" he asked a bit surprised, the wedding was barely brought up by her after the surgery

She looked uneasy, as if the topic of the wedding was hard to talk about. She took a step back and looked down at her hands. Her nervous state was making him feel like it was something bad.

"I..." she stopped herself, took a deep breath and began again "I don't think that we should get married" she said

Jackson was taken aback by her confession. He couldn't believe that she didn't want to marry him. He hoped that he may have heard it wrong, or that she may have said it the wrong way.

"What do you mean? That we shouldn't get married now or..." he trailed off

Her silence answered his question

"Where's this coming from?" he asked confused

Just a few days ago she couldn't wait to get married, and now, all of a sudden, her mind was changed.

"Is it because of the accident?" he asked when she didn't answer

"Yes" she answered above a whisper

"April I'm fine, I'm not gonna die, we can still get married..."

"You don't understand" she stopped him "Why would God let something like this happen on our wedding day? There has to be a reason right?"