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Even if Metro Manila is big, what are the odds of stumbling upon your ex and his family at the mall? Coincidence? I guess so.

Louis and I were together ever since I was in 2nd year high school until during the end of my freshman year. So the break-up is pretty fresh but it has been a couple of months and I've finally moved on throughout the months before sophomore year started.

He and I were young, we were two teenagers—in love and he was my first everything. He made me feel what high school love was like and I even thought we would last forever. He was my best friend, my rock. But, one day, the revelation came through just like that. He impregnated a woman years prior and he only confessed to me when our third year was coming. I was devastated of course and I felt like my world was crumbling down. To think that the person I love so much, I trusted with my whole heart—just did that. He cheated on me and even yet had a family despite being with me. I was disgusted at him and at myself because I was with someone who was already starting a family!

After that incident, I swore to myself I will never be in a relationship anymore. That experienced made my trust issues skyrocket and made me hard to approach people. But now, as months passed, I've healed but I am not looking for anything at the moment. I just want to focus on myself.

Though, the encounter with Louis and his family was awkward, tensed, and I just wished it never happened. But, so it goes, life goes on and its alright. From the months of my healing process, I instilled a mindset of knowing that things happen for a reason.

I decided to walk away from them and right through the exit. I think saying "hi" was enough. I didn't need to bother them. This is for the very best.

I commuted back to our house and decided to go straight to my room and take a shower and go through my social media accounts. I got into Instagram and see Carmela's story in her tourism uniform with a guy beside her. Nakaakbay pa 'toh sa kanya. Kapag may time ipapakwento ko talaga yun! I then went through my coursemates and other mutuals' stories until a notification pops up.

@raydenalc requested to follow you.

A small smile unknowingly crept into my face. 'Crush ba ako nito?' I thought. Ang feeler ko ba?

I accepted the request and follow him back dahil public naman account niya. May mga larawan ng Ateneo Blue Eagles Basketball Team dun, mga brand sponsorships at larawan ng pamilya niya. Then another notification popped up.

raydenalc: hi
raydenalc: done stalking?

theagonzales: wow you literally just slid into my DM's.
theagonzales: and i didn't stalk you for your information.

raydenalc: okay sure if you say so and you aren't wrong.

theagonzales: so what do you want?

raydenalc: you and your time.

theagonzales: no i'm busy. sa saturday na lang bye.

I ended the conversation just like that and decided to go through my readings instead. Magkikita naman tayo ng Saturday! Na-miss niya siguro ako!

But focusing was hard since I was so distracted with one guy namely, Yuan Rayden Alcantara. I see myself thinking about him when I really shouldn't. I notice how I smile whenever I get an interaction with him.

A question kept me up all night:
What was happening to me?

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