In Another Life (frerard)

21

"Wacha lookin at?" She asked moving uncomfortably close, to look at my phone. "Oh, um, nothing important. Just instagram." Her arm brushed against mine.

The second her skin touched me, I felt something. Something bad, something was wrong. She was wrong. I didn't like this feeling.

I turned to look behind me, Frank was standing next to... some girl, who looked vaguely familiar I couldn't see her whole face though. His eyes burning into this Lindsey girl, where her arm was touching me. He must have felt it too.

'who is she?' he mouthed to me, 'I don't know.' I mouthed back

'help me'

The second my mouth formed those words, he shoved his cup into her chest and marched over to me. Sitting down as close as possible next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, fingers digging into my side.

"Hey Gerard, who's... this." He said in a disgusted tone, looking the girl up and down. She scooted back over a bit, but not enough. Our arm's still touching. I watched as Franks lip twitched, his smile deformed, morphing into a snarl.

"Her names Lindsey, I think." She nodded. "Uh, nice to meet you."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, I better be going. I was wondering Gerard, if you had a girlfriend?"

I don't think Frank realized, but his grip on me tightened, a hint of pain coursed through me. I liked it.

"No..." "Oh cool, could I get your number?"

"Say. No." Frank growled into my ear, his vodka tainted breath whispering against my skin.

"Uhm... no." "Oh, okay I guess, bye... fag." She whispered as she walked away.

Once she was gone, Frank let go of me, but didn't completely move his arm. "Can we go?" I asked in a hushed voice. "Yes, let's go." Frank stood up, wobbling a bit. I hadn't noticed till now, but Frank was far from sober. "God dammit Frank, you are not driving."

"Yeah, maybe that's a good idea." He grabbed onto my shoulder, steadying himself as we walked outside.

"You need to sober up Frank, I don't want you in my bed like this." "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much I drank- and, I just- seeing her touching you. I hated it." "I know."

We walked in silence a whopping half mile to the nearest 7-11 (the only place that has coffee and is open at midnight.)

"Augh, too bright. Ima wait out here. Can you get me sour gummy worms please." "Sure Frank, cold or hot coffee?" "Cold, please." "Alright."

I hate when he drink's like this. The only other person I've known who can drinks this much is... my Father.

I grabbed his sour shit, skittles for myself. I got him a bottled Frappuccino and a hot black coffee for me. It's freezing out, I don't know how he's going to drink cold coffee. I checked out and walked outside, back into the cold, empty, darkness.

Frank sat on the curb a few feet away, his head in his hands, shaking, obviously effected by the cold.

"Here." I held the stuff out in front of him. "I love you Gerard." He stared into my eyes. The alcohol changed his face. It's like he wasn't him.

"Just take your stuff Frank."

"okay." I sat down next to him, inches between us. "I'm so sorry Gerard. I really didn't mean to drink this much. I wasn't thinking about it."

"You sound just like him." "like who?"

"My dad Frank. You're acting like him. I can't stand it." "Fuck. I hadn't thought about that." "I know. I think you should stay at your house tonight Frank. Are you okay to walk home from here?" "Oh, I guess."

"Bye Frank." "I'll call you tomorrow." I walked away.

I knew I shouldn't have, I knew I should have stayed and talked through it, but I just couldn't. Every time I looked at him, I just saw my dad.

~~~~~~

I walked in my front door, straight down to my room. Not changing, just pulling off Franks hoodie and getting in bed. I shut my eyes and didn't open them again.

I slept all night, expecting a dream that never came.

It know's, it knows I can't see him like that

~~~~~~~~

"gerard, wake up." "No, too early." "It's 9:30 Gerard."

"Ugh. Why are you here at this ungodly hour?" "We need to talk."

"oh."

I sat up, Frank handing me a coffee.

"I'm seriously so sorry Gerard." "It's fine..."

"No it's not Gerard. I'm gonna quit drinking. It's bad for both of us. I can do it, I've done it before. Drinking never leads to anything good."

"You don't have to do that, I can just keep to myself. It doesn't matter."

"Gerard. I would do anything for you, to make you feel better. I love you."

"Frank, I don't believe you. My dad would always tell us he would quit, then not even a day later he'd come home drunk."

"I don't need to drink Gerard, it's just something I do, and not that often. I'm not your dad, I swear."

The words coming from his mouth were harsh, but in some odd way comforting.

"Okay, I trust you."

"Thank you."

Frank's lips brushed against my cheek.

I heard the voice whisper.

'don't tell him yet' 'wait'

"God dammit!" "What? What's wrong?" Frank asked, panicked.

"It keeps changing it's mind! I hate this stupid fucking vision! I just want a straight answer, but no, it won't give it to me, I don't know what to do!"

I flopped back onto my mattress.

"Nothing has one straight answer Gerard." "So helpful, thanks."

"What are you asking, maybe I could answer for you."

"Hah! It's not really something I can ask you. It's telling me to wait, so I'll wait." "You do whatever makes you comfortable."

"I'm not fragile Frank, you don't have to act like this around me." "Gerard, you're special." "Not fucking short bus special." "You know that's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" I sat up, glaring right at Frank. It's hard to be mad when he looks like he does.

"You're different, special to me. I don't want anything to get messed up. I want you forever Gerard, and with what we know, from my books. I think we've been together, forever. Up until now that is..."

"Forever's a long time." "You don't need to be with me, that's just what I want. I know you don't want the same." "What?"

"I can tell, you don't love me like that. It's okay, I assumed that would happen. I'm happy as long as we can be friends."

"Frank..."

"No it's okay, I'm fine..."

"Frank-" "

I'm sorry."

"Frankie, listen to me."

"What...?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"