Months of Mixed Emotions

Chapter 14: Fighting Fire with Fire

Friday, February 13

Well here I am once again, laying on my bed and drowning in thoughts. I think to myself, "One girl should not be stressing over her first crush like this. Maybe I was just over exaggerating. Maybe he was just working on some cars with his dad. That is one of the excuses he gives me whenever he doesn't answer his phone. I kinda believe him because I have seen him working with his dad before." Apparently I woke up ten minutes before my alarm clock. It just made noises throughout my room. It was so loud that it woke up my sister and nephew who were in their rooms. Most times they wait up for my alarm. They know I am the early bird and when it comes down to school or just being early for any occasion, I am always on time. Only once in a blue moon will I ever be tardy for an appointment or such. Reluctantly, I forced myself out of bed. Around this time of the year is when I get cranky, lazy and tired about going to school. Americans would call it "senioritis". I really do not feel like going to school, thank God it is Friday. I love Fridays, who doesn't? It is the last day of the week and you can say hello to the weekend and sleep. I got ready for school and left out in a blast. I ran to the bus stop as fast as I could. Never wanted the first bus to leave me because if so and I caught the late bus... I don't have to say any more it says it all in the name, "Late Bus".

As I got on the bus that was packed as hell, I forced my way to the back. Unfortunately the bus was so packed to the point where I could not force anymore I just had to give up. Where I was standing, a fat kid stood there. For someone who just got up this morning to go to school, he smells really weird. I forced and forced some more through the bus trying my hardest to get through to the back. "This is going to be a long journey, this morning," I thought to myself. I turned my head to look down in the bus to see if I saw any of my friends back there. And of course I heard Monique's voice before I even laid eyes on her. I called out to her but she never heard me. I continued to bore through and look again to see the shock of my life. It was Jevaughn with some unknown girl in his lap. What was I suppose to do? Confront him and slap the shit out of him or just let it be? Of course I wasn't going to go up to him. I am not that brave of a person. All I did was stared down at him, as if my eyes were glued to him. They weren't looking anywhere else but on him. "Now this will really be a long journey," I thought to myself while I kissed my teeth. I noticed how he touched her and whispered into her ear. As I watched him remembered the day he did that to me. He did the same exact thing. He gave the that same smile, touched my face the same way. The only difference was that he was way in the back, further away from Monique. He was hiding from Monique. Of course he would be hiding, He wouldn't want her to notice him and then lash out everything to me. Too bad for him I already caught his lying ass.

The buss got most off the journey completed. Almost half of the people got off at their designated stops. I finally got a seat on the bus, my feet feels so much better. If I had stand in this death trap any longer I'd be dead. Curiously I turned my head to the back of the bus to see what Jevaughn was up to. And to my surprise, he was no where in the bus. Hmph.. I don't even want to know where he was and why he got off. I am over him for all I care. I took out my phone and texted Monique informing her that I am on the bus and need her to come and speak to me. I told her where I was sitting and like the good friend she was, she came running to my cry.

Monique: "Girl what's up, I never knew you was on this bus. I thought you took the civilized bus. 😆"

Kimberly: "Yea but if I had waited I'd be late today. The first civilized bus, as you call it had left me and I never wanted to wait on the next one, so I was forced to take this one.😔"

Monique: "Oh I got you, so why you never came back where I was. You know I would've given you a seat.😕"

Kimberly: "Girl it was too packed for that. Plus I was calling you but you never heard me. ☺️"

Monique: "Oh, so what's going on. Have you and Jevaughn worked things out yet. Yall good now, no more drama and whatever...☺️"

Kimberly: "Hmph... I wish we were good but he don't know that.😔"

Monique: "What you mean? 😕"

Kimberly: "You never saw him, with that girl?😕"

Monique: "No what girl you talking bout.😧"

Kimberly: "The girl he came off the bus with.😔"

Monique: "Wait am confused.. You saying to me that Jevaughn was on the bus. You saw him with another girl and you never said anything or even did anything.😠"

Kimberly: "No, I was just thinking... Ummm. Maybe it was.."

Monique: "See that's your problem right there. You keep on saying maybe this maybe that. Where is the Kim I used to know? You never used to say maybe all the time. So what happened?

Kimberly: " I don't know. So what do you suggest I should do? Break up with him?😐"

Monique: "No that would be to easy. You should fight fire with fire.😈"

Kimberly: "You think so!😕"

Monique: "Yes definitely. Anyways, this is my stop see you later girl. Have a great day at school and look for the hottest nigga!!😝😉"

That girl Monique is a trip. But I love her to death, she my sister from another mother. These past few days she has been giving me some girl talk about guys. She is really experienced when it comes down to knowing in the ins and outs of dating guys. Some of her advices I don't really find useful, to be honest. In my predicament, I think I will use each and every one of them. Like finding a new guy friend at school to text when I am around Jevaughn. Monique says he'll get jealous and come running back to me. That he'll just think that he is not showing me too much attention and will think that I am getting it from someone else. She also says that I shouldn't show all of my feeling and that those feelings will come back to haunt me. Guys will just use those feelings against me. Never let a guy know too much, have them wonder what else is there under the deep beautiful skin. Lastly never let them play you, let your body and mind play them. Girls know that there is just one thing guys normally want. Use that to play them, and they'll be in the palm of our hands. She also said to never be afraid to give up the nookie. Whether or not we give it up, they'll find some way of hurting us anyway, so why not have a little fun before we get hurt. Rather than not having sex and still get hurt. It is fifty fifty, at least that is how Monique looks at it. Some of what she tells me makes sense in a way. She told me on the bus to fight fire with fire, so I guess that is what I'll do.

Lunch Time

It is lunch time now and I am chilling with my friends. I got my lunch already and ate it all. We were all talking about Inter-Secondary Schools Boys and Girls School Championships, better known as Champs. Champs is an annual Jamaican multi-sport meet. Where athletic students from schools all across the island meet in Kingston to compete in different athletics activities. This is the foundation where most famous athletes began, such as Usain Bolt, Veronica Campbell-Brown, Shellyan Fraser, Asafa Powell, Yohan Blake and many more athletes. As we spoke about who were going to attend this special event, a close friend of mines asked if I was going. I replied no and saw that he was rather disappointed. I asked him if he was going and he said yes. He just wanted to know if I could go and hang out with him. I then mentioned to him that I'll think about it and ask my sister for some money to go and that I'll let him know. As the conversation was about to end I asked Michael for his number so I can text him whenever I get the chance. What can I say? I couldn't wait to text this guy, I did it immediately and the fire started to burn. I am ready to burn Jevaughn and let him feel the same way I am feeling right now, burnt!