Months of Mixed Emotions

Chapter 7: Mistletoe Christmas

Well, we are in the Christmas season now. Things between Jevaughn and I have been pretty typical. Every day of the past few months have been the same. He has not asked the question and I really think that he will never ask me. I have known for almost five months now. What could he be waiting on? A perfect time for marriage! Uh, no I'm not even half way ready for that yet so I don't know what he could be waiting on.

During Christmas time it does not snow in Jamaica. Jamaica is too close to the equator to have snow. I shall say it does get quite cold during December. This is the time of the year when families all over the world come together and celebrate. Everyone, everywhere in different cultures celebrate Christmas differently. In Jamaica it's really different. We bake rum cake, make sorrel drinks from scratch, cook a variety of different foods. As for parties we have a majority of different events for all ages. Events that are held are; Treats, for the children; Grand Gala, which is a pageant show for everyone; Fire Works Show and many Street dances. In Jamaica we have a blast.

Christmas Morning

I just got from setting the dough in the oven. In our kitchen smells as if chefs from all over came in and created a cooking storm. The aroma of our kitchen is tempting. Rum cakes are baking, curry goat, ham, rice and peas, chicken and everything else is cooking. My family and I are just cooking up a storm. I know by the end of today I'll be stressed out and tired like no other. But it's for a good cause, it's Christmas.

Christmas Dinner

Well my family are gathered around the table, looking their best like never before. My sister's close friends showed up to support our family dinner. I love seeing things like these. The family all come together in harmony and form unity under one roof. Everyone laughing and having a good time. There is one question I'll never stop hearing " How is school going?" Whenever any grown up visits my house they always asks that question and I always say "it's good!" Even though sometimes I know I'm struggling terribly but they never came to tutor me. They came to have a good time, enjoy themselves and most of all eat. So I don't know why they would ask certain questions. To be honest that is a pet peeve of mine but is all good it is Christmas. Then you have those family members who just come to your house during any occasion, to just eat and then leave and sometimes even don't say thank you. Then for the rest of the year you don't see their faces until another holiday or special events. I understand some people have a life but at least call sometimes to let us know that you still remember us. This holiday season I don't want to ponder about those things. I'm getting mature now and need to understand that some people will never change to understand morals. Not only that but Jevaughn has is just on my mind non-stop these days. I know that's how it's always been before but now it's getting extreme to the point, where I have a dream about him every night. I would not even say almost, it is EVERY NIGHT!!! How crazy is that?!? I dream of how self absorbent he is, to the point where he can't even see that I am craving to be his girl. Like is it because I'm ugly? I know I'm not so I don't know what's his problem. "Sigh, I give up." I couldn't do this anymore. I am such a shy girl and full of low self-esteem. What would a girl like me do with a handsome boy like Jevaughn?

Later that night

Well the family dinner is over and everyone had a great time. Well not every one. My sister was in an argument with one of my cousins. They were arguing about whose rum cake tasted better. This argument started out as a silly, laugh it off competition but I guess they over did it and took it seriously. Since dinner is done and I was finished with the mountainous dishes in the kitchen, I left my sister and her friends and went on the road.

Three minutes later

I met up with Monique just to chill and hang out. Dayan was there but wasn't talking to me because of what happened months ago. I really thought he got over it but I guess not. I was willing to forgive him but I was wrong too. I never remembered or even thought about him. I never showed concern for my best friend and that looked really bad.