Months of Mixed Emotions

Chapter 3: Eyes on the New Guy

Days, weeks and months have passed, still no sign of Dayan. His parents weren't looking for him, not even showing any sign of concern of his whereabouts. So I guessed they knew where he was. His mother, father, big brother, little sister and friends were all gambling in a typical game of bingo like true Jamaicans. All of them standing around a table, which was simply a big board on two blocks. Everyone had bingo cards and markers, anticipating on a tremendous win as the caller calls the numbers. I really don't know how they enjoy playing this. After someone loses their money they always cuss into eternity, as if World War One is upon us. They'll cuss, fight, threaten to kill one another and who knows what else. Then the next day they'll all come back again, smiling and carrying on for another game of bingo. I really don't know what's the deal with these people. How in the world can they gamble everyday. Most of them don't even have a job and if they do its not a descent one. It might be a job where if and when they get paid that money goes straight to the house. There's no entertainment out of that unless they save. The way they displayed themselves is like gambling is their life.

Since no one was worried about Dayan, I guess I shouldn't be worrying either. Maybe this time it was just a family matter that only the family should know about. I wasn't going to ask his mom or dad, especially since their in the middle of a "life dependency" game. I will not interrupt that, I was not prepared to be cursed out because I let someone missed their number or whatever they're known to cuss people out for. Anyways I set out to go home, when I ran into a good friend Shaun. He was shorter than I was, dark-skinned with straight legs. To be honest Shaun wasn't known to be the cleanest person. His clothes will always be raggedy, torn and dirty. He was always like this since he was a child. One would think that in your teenage years, a teenager would clean themselves and stay clean. Not Shaun, he doesn't care what anyone says. The only time you would see him dress appropriate, clean with clothes not torn, is when he's going out. Even then he still doesn't look all that attractive because, to be honest, he can't dress. Knowing Shaun, he does not give a damn. I kinda wish I was like him, in a sense. Shaun, knows how to ignore people and what they say about him. Me on the other hand I would go home and cry; drown in my sorrows.

Kimberly: "What's going on Shaun😄?"

Shaun:" About to go home I'm tired, as you know what😓!"

Kimberly:" 😂Tired, as you know what, from doing what?"

Shaun:" From doing just that😏!"

Kimberly:" *Gasp* 😧 Ohhh, umm ok. Thanks for disgusting me!"

Shaun:" What's wrong, you acting like you haven't had sex before😕!"

Kimberly:" Noo... I haven't😒 and I'm not planning to anytime soon."

Shaun:" Why? You scared😆!"

Kimberly:"No am not scared, for your information. I'm just thinking about the fact that I'm just fourteen years old and I'm just not ready😇."

Shaun:" So when are you planning on doing it😕?"

Kimberly:" When I'm.... umm twenty one let's say😕?!?"

Shaun:" Damn.. that long!!! What you waiting on Jesus😀😅?"

Kimberly:" Am done with this conversation😡."

Shaun:" Where you going, what did I say wrong? Fine then it ain't my fault you still a virgin😒😒!!!!"

I ran home and pondered on what just happened. How could he say that? I thought he was my friend, shouldn't friends look out for friends? Shouldn't friends support each other with whatever decisions they make? Well if he doesn't think that way, I do!! Who he think he is? And if he, thinks my decisions that I make for myself is stupid and fun to laugh at, then he can laugh at the fact that I'm not friends with him anymore. I have never thought about sex before. I have never thought about doing it with anyone, what age I would like for it to be taken, none of that had ever crossed my mind. It makes me really uncomfortable to even think about what just happened while taking to Shaun. I know that from now on walking pass him will forever be weird.

Monday evening after school

I got off the hectic city bus, tired and exhausted. I don't know why Prime Minister Bruce Golding, can't provide school busses for the children going to school. It would be easier for us, not only easier but also safer. Bullying of other school children would lessen. Walking out of school to the bus stop, worrying if someone is going to snatch us wouldn't even be on our minds. If school busses were available, fretting about going to and from school would be a waste.

Well since that's not happening, not even in my dream, I got over it. I started walking home. Thinking about how I would finish my project in time, because I have been procrastinating a lot. Ever since that dumb ass brought that sex argument to mind. Who cares what he thinks though, he was probably looking me to fuck. As I said before I don't care.

I looked ahead and guess who I saw. Shaun of course in his uniform, looking all raggedy. I on the other hand, had my uniform blouse tucked in my skirt, my pleats on my uniform skirt were pressed neatly and straighten. For all I know, I rocked my uniform. Looking studious as ever. Shaun wasn't walking alone, he was with this unknown person. I would say he looked kinda cute. He was tall, black and handsome, he had luscious cherry lips. I loved guys with cherry lips plus he had them bow legs going on... Oh Jesus, he was fine. I so wanted to say hi, or even tell Shaun to tell him. With what happened over the weekend I don't think I would want to ever speak to Shaun again. On the other hand I was to shy to even approach him myself and Shaun was the only way I could get to him. I know it would be flaw to use Shaun that way after I said I wouldn't deal with him again but hey, this boy is cute. If you think about it, he deserved it cause he did me worse.

Kimberly:" Hey Shaun come here🙋🏽!!"

Shaun:" What you want, V😂😂??"

Kimberly:" Really, you gonna really go there right now😕😑!?!?"

Shaun:" Am just playing with you yow, chill out 😂😂."

Kimberly:" It really annoys me, the way you laugh every time for everything😐😐."

Kimberly:" Anyways.... who's your friend☺️☺️??"

Shaun:" Ohhh that's why you called me over here... huh😒😒!!"

Kimberly:" Ummm... is that a bad thing😁😁."

Shaun:*sigh* " Fine, that's Jevaughn, he new around here😒😒."

Kimberly:" Oh, can you tell him I said hi☺️☺️."

Shaun:" Why don't you tell him yourself😕😕."

Kimberly:" I could never, I'm too shy for that yow😥😥!!!"

Shaun:" I'll tell him for you, but later anyways we gonna play some football👋🏿👋🏿."

As they left I said goodbye to both of them. My heart rushed because Jevaughn was staring at me nonstop. I think he likes me too, or maybe he's just looking at me because Shaun was saying something to him - I don't know. All I know is that his bright eyes were staring back at me and I like it. I went home and finished my project, it wasn't hard. It was to do a research about Jamaica and it's parishes. I knew almost everything about Jamaica. Jamaica has seven heroes, fourteen parishes and plenty of fruitful vegetation and tourist attraction. I did my project on the tourist attraction of course. Who wouldn't, Jamaica is known for attracting tourists, with its food, sun shine all year round, natural caves, rivers and plenty more. Doing that project was a blast, I was feeling contented inside with my finished work.

After laying down, my phone rang with an unknown number on the screen. I don't usually get unknown calls, when I do I don't answer. "Who could this be?" I thought to myself. Curious enough to find out who it was, this I answered. At first there was no reply, then an unknown person answered. Who it was? I have no clue.