Thinking Of You [WooSan]

004

Wooyoung 

It had been a couple of days since the embarrassing incident that I was trying to purge from my thoughts by shoving my head through a meat grinder. Aka, more studying.

And everything was working just fine until Jongho messaged me and said he had to cancel because San was throwing a party. 

And for whatever reason Jongho asked me to come. 

Okay, that was a bold faced lie. I had practically begged him if I could come despite him multiple times saying no, because he knew I could party a bit too hard. 

 So when I got to his house, lets just say it was a huge shock to see San there...

Yeah, I couldn't even convince myself. This was absolutely pathetic. Maybe I thought if I came to the party, I could make some kind of better impression to make up for the last time. That San wouldn't think of me as some stupid kid that happened to be friends with his brother. It was a dumb thought, and an even dumber attempt. I didn't know what I expected from the situation but I just wouldn't be able to keep going if I didn't at least try. 

In actuality, I didn't see San there. There was so much people and it was so loud and crowded that there was no possibility in spotting him. And yes, maybe it was becoming sad because I was looking for him. I didn't even know what I'd say. How I'd make up for how embarrassed I was. 

I was usually a confident person and a huge extrovert, it wasn't that difficult to make friends or get close to people and starting conversations was natural. So why was the idea of talking to San making me lose my mind? 

I ended up sitting on the counter in the kitchen, avoiding people because none of them were Choi San. 

At least the beer wasn't that bad. Of course it wasn't that bad. It was San's. 

Yeah. I was starting to get sick of myself. 

I hopped off the counter, not feeling tipsy enough to struggle as I decided I would actually mingle. If Jongho found me alone like this, he'd think something horrible happened. 

I went to the dance floor, which was just the living room with the furniture pushed back when I bumped into someone. 

"Shit, I'm sorry." I took a step back to see who it was but I was just dumbfounded. 

"Hongjoong?"

"Wooyoung?" He said as the same time as me.

"Oh my god, it's been how long?" I reached in to hug him which he reluctantly accepted, "Still not a hugger?" I asked, chuckling. 

He smiled back at me, "Not exactly. And it's great seeing you, man. I thought when you said you were going to college, that was the last time." 

I let out a breath, rubbing the back of my neck. "Me too. I got all weepy about it." Hongjoong nodded, remembering. "Do you still...you know?"

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Wooyoung...it's a party. I don't think anyone would look at you weird if you asked if I still smoked. Yes, I've been summoned and I brought some weed." 

"Wait, who do you know here?" 

"San invited me. I still need to give him back his card since he lent it to me to buy this stuff. Probably a dumb choice but hey, he trusted the right guy." 

I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned, "The right guy?" 

He put a hand over his chest in pretend offense, "What? Am I not trustworthy?" 

"With a credit card from a man like Choi San?" 

"I'm a changed man. No more scamming people." He waved his hand like the thought was preposterous. 

I didn't know why I felt relieved. Hongjoong was a great guy, even if he had a bit of a sketchy past. Mine wasn't all that clean either. But I had to admit, not having to worry about San getting scammed made me feel a bit better. He was right, San was a good guy, he didn't deserve that. 

"Well, lead the way to the stoners den. If I came here for one thing...I found it." Obviously that was a lie, but outside of Choi San, weed was the next best thing. 

Weed really was the next best thing. 

It was almost enough to take my mind off of San completely. 

Almost. 

But I didn't mind when my thoughts occasionally wandered to him, wondering what he was doing. 

Hongjoong sat on the ground, in between the couch and table as he was hunched over, rolling joints as the previous ones were being smoked. Hongjoong was kinda small, even if he'd throw hands if you mentioned it. Which meant his hands were on the smaller end. Which meant they were perfect for rolling joints the right way.

I wasn't necessarily bad at it but it was clear Hongjoong had more practice. I guess that was a given because Hongjoong had actually got the weed, and had set everything up. Usually I just smoked what was given to me.

I'd admit, at first I planned on taking it slow. Especially since it had been so long after I decided to focus on school and not smoking. However, after some failed attempts of trying to get my mind off of San, I probably got a bit too high. 

It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, but my tolerance had been destroyed so now, sitting here after smoking what I could've easily taken a couple of years ago...my brain was going at a snails pace. 

It was especially different when Hongjoong brought the wax out. Joong said it was different for everyone, but for me wax had always made me more aware? I wasn't sure if that was the right word. Everything was calm and maybe even slowed but I felt aware, I felt awake. Weed usually just made me sleepy after a bit. 

Maybe I knew that, and maybe I decided to choose wax instead because I didn't want to just pass out. 

I was aware enough to notice Joong taking a break, getting off the floor and stretching before he left the room. 

I was aware enough to realize I was now alone again and I wasn't particularly happy with the thought.