just a waste

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y/n hesitantly kissed tom back, cursing at herself in her head for giving in. his lips were far too soft and soothing to pull away from them. tom held onto her dearly, arms snaking around her waist only to pull her even closer.

if i could paint a picture of what was going on in both of their bodies and minds, i'd tell you to imagine fireworks.

— ☆ tom

i pull away from her, feeling out of breath. her glossy eyes look up to mine, hiding all the questions roaming in her head - questions i'm not sure i can answer correctly to. there's this urge inside of me to shield her from the world, to protect her from all the harm i cause, from my chaos. i know that i should probably just leave her alone, but i can't keep myself away from her. these thoughts scare me and as much as i try to brush them off, my heart doesn't let me. i feel weak, like i'm about to cry again at how she looks at me - how she only sees me as this impulsive fuckboy i let her think i am.

'y/n, what i said...'  my words got caught up in my throat when i met her eyes, 'lemme  guess, you don't mean it?' she cut me off,  ironic, already knowing what i was about  to say. 'let me make it up to you', i finally said, 'let me be a better fake boyfriend to you, please'.

— ☆ y/n

i roll my eyes after hearing his oh-so-old promises. there is not a part in my brain that believes the words coming out of his mouth, but something about him pulls at my heart strings a little too much for my liking. 'just leave it be', i tell him and then turn around, heading home. his figure just gets more and more blurry behind me as i rush away from him. it dawns on me that it's the third day i'm ditching school for stupid shit. i feel so much frustration building inside of me so i start running home, to blow steam off.


i know you're tired of me doing the same,

i know you're tired of me running away


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tom rushed to his next class, not knowing what else to do. luckily, he had class with bill, who was determined to fix whatever his brother had yet again fucked up. he slipped tom a note while the teacher wasn't looking, that said 'flowers, after class, her house'. he watched his brother's expression as he read and scoffed. when they met eyes, bill gave him a sharp 'i'm serious' look. tom mumbled, 'you can't be', but all he got in return was the same stabbing glare.

and so, tom sat through all his remaining classes absolutely mortified by the idea of buying flowers for someone, especially for y/n. he had never thought he would end up in such a position. after his last class, as he was heading out, nicole caught up to him.

'what are you doing, love?', he internally icked at the word, 'none of your bussiness', he answered shortly, trying to make her leave. 'was hoping you'd say me...' she pouted and latched onto his arm, only for him to quickly push her away, 'nicole get the fuck away from me before i hurt you 10 times worse than you've hurt y/n'.  she only continued walking by his side, 'you said it yourself you don't care about her', she giggled, 'don't be so too faced like her'. tom stopped in his tracks, not knowing whether her words towards him or y/n had made him so angry. he looked straight into nicole's eyes as he said, 'i do care about her, more than i ever will about you actually, so piss of before i break your face for what you did'. 

silence peacefully invaded his mind as he left nicole behind, and with her all the anger inside of him. now he suddenly felt better about buying flowers. on the way to her house, he stopped by a little stand with roses sold by an old lady. he remembered those were her favorite, so he bought a bouquet. suddenly the memory of walking with her on that exact same street a few years ago came crashing into him. he wanted her to be as happy as she used to be. when he got to her house, tom climbed all the way to her window - only to reminisce the old times again. he looked through her window and saw her sitting at her desk, listening to music and drawing something. she looked so focused. he smiled at the sight, scared to interrupt. when he finally did, y/n's head instantly turned to his direction, startled by his presence. she opened the window and let him in. he awkwardly handed her the flowers, to which she smiled softly at him.

— ☆ y/n

'how are you not scared i'll try to fuck you?', i asked ironically to break the silence as he sat next to me on the bed. he looked at me in what seemed to be fear. he was intimidated, which only made me want to make fun even more, 'maybe you'll get the plague if you sit so close', i moved even closer to him, 'boo', i turned my head to face him suddenly, causing him to flinch. i started laughing so hard at his reaction. he loosened up a bit after seeing me laugh, so i started poking him around the waist to make him join. we both laughed and i felt a brief moment of peace between us, like we were kids innocently having fun again.

'i care so much about you y/n', he said after we both sat on our backs on the bed, staring at the ceiling, 'i know you don't like me anymore, but like i said, i'll show you i'm still me, ok?', he turned to look at me with those pretty eyes. 'and for the record i do want to touch you... so so bad'.



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a/n: sorry for the late update i've been gone for the past few days, but i hope it was worth the wait!!!! i'll update more these days ;) AND TYSM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT I LOVE U GUYS ur comments make me crack up <3333

𝐁𝐄𝐓☆tom kaulitz.On viuen les histories. Descobreix ara