Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

It was growing dark and the party was in full swing. Everyone was still dancing, talking, laughing and drinking. And I was tired. It's only been one night and I'm already ready to sleep for a whole day!

Nan had been showing me around to all the guests who were staying. They were all nice enough people.

Lots of men I realised.

I felt that this party was only created for Granddad to find me a guy.

Oh God! I bet it was!

I'm going to have to have a word with him. And Nan, his little helper.

But I was having fun. The night sky was beautiful. I could see all the stars, giving us little in the sky. Living in London you never see the stars with all the city lights and pollution.

The stars were out, there was only a hit of a breeze but I wasn't cold. It could have been all the pimms I drank earlier. Having my beer-coat on always helped on a night out in the cold. But the summer night was perfect; there were no clouds in the sky.

After weeks of fretting, tonight has been great.

I've made some new friends, met different families and seen my Granddad and Nan for the first time in ages.

The feeling of seeing them again, so happy, gives me this bubbling emotion in my belly that makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I feel so happy and excited that I can't stop smiling.

Standing on the terrace, I can hear the music from the jazz band coming through the ball room. People were talking and laughing. It felt like the perfect night.

Maybe, I thought, this week won't be the train wreck I believed it would be...

But then a thought entered my mind. Alex.

I know he is here. I know my whole family are here. However big this place was, I wasn't going to hide from them for long. Even if there was near about hundred guests, we were sure enough going to walk into each other. And that sure enough took the smile straight of my face.

It took away the fun and excitement of being at this party that I was enjoying so much.

I was more scared to meet Alex than anyone else. Back then we were only kids but now, as adults, it scares me what he could do if he wanted. I still have nightmares about that party, that night, where he tried to... I can't even say it.

I could remember it all like it had only just happened, like it was so fresh in my mind.

I could remember the feeling of the next morning in my mind as well. When my family disowned me and believed in that snake. Seeing his face in my head, remembering the cocky, smug look he had. He may not have done what he wished to that night but he still won.

And I had lost.

Hate and hurt bubbled up inside me. I have never truly hated someone before. Like my Mum and Dad, I never hated them, just disliked them for pushing me out my whole life. But I always tried to see the best in people. Try to see it from their mind and see that they just don't know the whole story about that night and if only they would listen...

But I'm lying to myself; my Dad was just waiting for a reason to get me out of the house. Because I never followed his rules and did what he wishes for me to do. To him I wasn't his daughter, not anymore.

Ties where coming down my cheek.

Why was I crying?

Come on, I need to be stronger if I'm going to last throughout the week. I took a large breath in, rising and lowering my shoulders. That's it I just need to keep calm.

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