29. {Parting Gift}

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My flight was rescheduled for 12 noon EST the following day and I was freaking out. It's already a quarter past ten and I could barely eat my breakfast. I thought for sure that our goodbyes would've been easier than last time, given that it's something that we've done before, but it's much harder. Whether it's the knowledge of not knowing when I'll see her again since last time I had a definite date in mind, something to look forward to, July 21st. This time, however, there was no date in sight and even though I knew I would come back and come back for good, the eternal wait seemed very scary. Besides that, the growing attachment that comes with intimacy was enough to make me want to cancel my flight to Europe and go back to Virginia with her.

Then there was the bond and I swear a bit of that is still lingering.

I felt sick to my stomach, borderline nauseous and the more I sat there pushing my food around my plate while watching the clock tick, the worse I felt. My anxiety was through the roof and I felt like I wanted to cry and scream and throw things and shit myself and throw up and have an emotional breakdown all at once. Internally, I was doing all of the above. On the outside, I was sitting calmly, forcing food I had no appetite for while glancing at the clock every five seconds.

Grace watched me with her brows knitted together. I challenged her gaze with a bored expression as my nausea grew. Suddenly she mouthed. "Go." And her gaze flickered down the hall. I followed her gaze, my eyes landing on the bathroom. My stomach turned. My breathing grew shallow, and I knew without a doubt that if I sat here any longer, I would be throwing up in my breakfast and ruining everyone else's. I finally pushed my chair back and rushed to it, wondering how the hell she knew that I still didn't feel well.

I didn't ponder about it for too long as I locked myself inside and emptied my stomach in the toilet. The relief came immediately but despite that, I curse the day anxiety was ever a thing. And why did it make you nauseated and want to shit yourself? Like what if I wasn't near a toilet or something!!!

A knock on the door stole my attention. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I flushed the toilet and got up to use mouthwash. "You can come in."

The door opened and she slipped through, her eyes fixating on me immediately. "Is it your period making its show now?"

I cocked a brow at her. "I feel like you know my cycles more than I do."

"Well, yes," she came over slowly. "Since you literally die every single time it comes and I have to try and preserve you. You're late you know."

"I know," I said, frowning. "And as much as I would have loved this to be bloody Mary, it's not. It's just my anxiety acting up."

She gave me a look of understanding before pulling me into a hug. "It's not goodbye, Julia. Remember that."

"I know. But the eternal wait is killing me already."

"Because you're thinking about it, baby. Don't think about it. We're going to do this one day at a time until we see each other again. Whenever that is." I nodded. She released me and stepped back. "We have to get you to the airport now."

My stomach turned again. "Right now?"

"If you want to catch your flight."

But can't we like wait a little bit???

My lip trembled as I gazed up at her. Then I nodded. "Okay."

I made my way to the door but quickly stopped. As I turned around, she gave me a quizzical look. "Parting gift?" I proposed. 

She chuckled lightly and then accepted. Before I could react, she was picking me up and putting me down on the countertop. She hooked her fingers in the waist of my leggings and underwear and tugged them down. She carefully pulled them off, folded them and rested them on the toilet before coming back over to me.

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