DREA (GxG)

3. {My husband's sister}

My body woke me at seven am, the hour Adrian would wake me with breakfast in bed. And of course, because I'm now five hours behind Amsterdam, it's actually 2 am. Still, I could smell the scrambled eggs and sausage he would cover his slightly burnt toasts with and the glass of orange juice he would take to me with them. I could almost feel him kiss me awake and see the huge smile on his face as he brought breakfast to me. Those big brown eyes, my weakness, could cut me down so swiftly, and I would melt away into a puddle. Then he would scoop me up, hold me in his embrace until I was whole again. I opened my eyes, half expecting that kiss only to find an otherwise empty room, an empty bed. The loneliness steadily seeped into my bones and surrounded me like a blanket. The harsh reality slap punched the air out of my lungs, making it hard to breathe. My body shuddered, my chest tightening as the warmth of my tears clawed their way out. I pulled the blanket up higher and closed my eyes again, enjoying breakfast in bed with my husband, and after that, enjoyed him making sweet love to me.

I didn't know how long I stayed with him, just lying in his arms, enjoying the feel of him again, his scent his smile. Feeling his breath against my skin as he said my name. He would tell me he loved me and that would be enough. Once he was with me that would be enough. There, behind the curtains of my eyes, deep in my soul, he was with me. I wanted to stay there forever, I wanted to be with him, pain-free, blissful, loved instead of lonely.

A knock on the door jolted me back to reality. To the realm where he wasn't. Where I was all alone and devastated by his passing. To the realm where my heart felt as if it was in the palm of an insensitive child being squeezed without mercy. Hindering my breathing, instilling pain and slowly, an eventual death.

"Julia?" I opened my eyes to see Grace poking her head through the door. "I was worried about you." She revealed. "You haven't gotten out of bed at all. Haven't eaten."

"Not hungry."

She looked worried. "Can I come in?" She asked as if she needed my permission. As if this wasn't her house. I nodded and she came forward, closing the door behind her again. I notice for the first time now that she had curly hair. Of course, not curly like my curly but curlier than straight and it was pretty. She mounted the vacant side of the bed, but I barely felt a sink. She was light, expected with how small she was. Silence swallowed us for a moment. "If you want to talk about him, I'm here to listen." She offered.

"I appreciate the offer, but I don't think talking will help. It won't bring my husband back to me."

"True," she agreed. "But it might help to get out what's going on on the inside. I can tell you love him very much."

My throat clenched and again, I felt that squeezing in my heart. I tried to appear unaffected but the ache in my chest weighed me down like water on a sinking ship. My lips quivered. "Apart from my career, he was the only thing I had." She listened, patiently waiting for me to continue even when I couldn't find the strength to. "I've lost everything in the blink of an eye. My hand is useless. I-I can't even hold a fork steady and the only person I had in this dark, gruesome world is... he's—"

"Dead," she finished for me. The word felt like a bullet through my heart. Feeling as if there were hot branding irons being shoved down my throat.

The tears brewed in my eyes and as they overflowed, they flowed from one, dripped into the other then slipped down the side of my face to soak the pillow. "I'm alone. It's lonely and I-I can't stand to be here...anymore."

I felt her fingers in my hair as she slowly brushed it back and somehow, that made me feel better. Hopeful. "You are not alone." She assures me. "I know friends are not the same as family, but you have friends in us. My wives and me. Even Adreanna."