Broken remains of exo

Chapter 1

Last year everything started to fall apart.When Luhan and Kris left.I still remember the night I was talking to Kris
hyung because I had a suspicion that he will be leaving.It was about a week before he actually left.We talked for hours that night,and I asked him if he wanted to leave and he confessed to me that he did but he told me that he would never
leave me.He lied.He left.Just like everyone does.He only left a short note on my nightstand apologising and left without another word.I was the most heartbroken,after Tao,of course.We were all deeply anguished by his sudden action,his silence.We understood but still it hurt us so bad.We had to start planning the concerts again,rearranging the dances and practicing more.It was a very tough time.

And then, just as I confessed my love to Luhan,he left us aswell.He never loved me back,but we were always the best of friends.He still didnt reply to that text message i sent five months ago,that hurt me a lot.All I just wanted was to see him,one last time,to at least say goodbye,because we all knew he wont be coming back,and what distressed me the most is seeing that he is still in contact with hyung Lay.I still remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Lay sitting on his bed smiling widely at his phone while enthusiastically texting,I always knew it was Luhan who he was texting.Lay hyung was always here for me,right from the beginning,but now he is always going to China to film stuff or promote and I barely see him at all these days,I miss him loads.I always see the pictures of him and Luhan hanging out together in China on his weibo,I see how happy they are,I wish I could make Luhan so happy,but I lost my chance,I know he didnt leave because of me-well at least thats what everyone else said,but I really feel like its my fault sometimes,even thought Luhan himself said it wasn't.

Life is really hard right now,since Luhan left we were again deeply devastated.The other members understood him and said that he will only be better off now,they didnt talk much about him,they knew I loved Luhan and how much it bothered me,they saw.I still keep the little sheep pillow he gave me as a present for my birthday last year,I will never forget him.

These days im very alone.The room is empty because Lay is never home and even when he is,he never seems to spend any time in our room.I could talk to Suho hyung but he already has so much to worry about,I don't want to trouble him more.Kai's fevers are getting worse and more frequent now,so him and D.o are always really tired and neither get much sleep.Since Kyungsoo is always awake, worried sick about the younger,getting him medicine ,rubbing his back,whispering comforting words and desperately trying to relax him as Kai restlessly turns all night trying to sleep at least a bit.I've seen it,I feel bad for the two,but at least they have eachother.

Baekhyun is more quite that usual,he doesn't joke around or tease us,its bad.He is also not well,suffering with bad anxiety and on a lot of medication.He tries to stay strong for us,but i know he cries himself to sleep.Chanyeol stays up late trying to calm Baekhyun down from his panic attacks,but its no use.Sometimes it distresses him so much he sleeps on the couch,because he feels so depressed and helpless.I wish he slept with me when this happens ,but I don't bother him,I know he needs his privacy.Chanyeol has also long lost the spark in his eyes.His eyes no longer light up when he smiles and his laugh is so forced.All of this is too much to bare for thier poor sensitive souls.

As for Xiumin he keeps it all inside,he hardly ever talks..or eats for that matter,whenever we have free time he'll sit against a wall and stare off into the distance until his eyes get teary and he leaves the room.No one follows him but sometimes I think maybe i should,after all we both need the comfort.

Chen desperately tries to keep a good atmosphere but you can see the pain behind his eyes and the amount of effort it takes for him to not break down.Even thought Lay doesnt even talk to me anymore Im still very concerned for him,we all are.His hip injury is so damaged now,he just pretends it doesnt bother him but we know how much pain he's in.Hes very overworked and more forgetful than ever.

All we can do,is sit around and hoplessly look at eachother as we all fall apart.And now that Tao is gone..well hes away,I cant accept that he might leave too,we cant take this again all this mess,the pain.This past year has been a journey to hell and back and I really dont want him to leave.He cant leave,he is a maknae just like me and we need to stay together.He's so sensitive and fragile he needs us more than he thinks.He cant leave,he just can't.Ive seen his injuries though,they are so awful that I cried when I've seen them,watching him bravely bite back the agonized yelp that came to this throat whenever he put too much pressure on his leg was always hard to watch,yet he danced more and more,he trained harder and harder,filled with determination.I really admire him for his strength and perseverance.

We all keep going because we have nowwhere else to go and our fans..we cant leave them either.We are the broken remains of exo,but we are still one,we will still keep fighting,just as we promised,and together or not,we will never give up.

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Hello dear reader!:)
So this is my first fanfic on here so please bear with me
Tell me what you think in the comments and also let me know if you find any mistakes or typos:)
Thank you for reading my story and ill see you again soon^.^

Exo-ls fighting!
~Byun BAEkhyun^.^~