If I Let You Go

Chapter 12 - In black and white

Taylor's been on edge these past few days. Amante did not say anything after they met in Boracay. Amante did not question him about Rain nor showed any indication that he wanted to use that information in exchange of something. And this is making Taylor uneasy. Taylor wanted to confront his brother and outright ask what he wants but it would appear desperate and may cause more harm specially on Rain.

A few more days passed, and Taylor could not hold back anymore so he decided to return home after work in the middle of the week.

As soon as he entered their foyer, he asked a passing maid where Amante is, and the maid replied that his brother is in his room. Taylor climbed the stairs two at time and walked directly in front of his brother's door. He inhaled deeply to calm himself first and knocked on the door.

"Pasok" (Come in) his brother said from the other side of the door.

Taylor inhaled once more and opened the door.

He observed his brother's room and saw that some childhood books and toys were no longer there. The medium sized leather couch in front of an entertainment setup is also a new addition. Aside from those nothing really changed.

Amante's eyes reflected his surprise on seeing Taylor. "This is a surprise. You never come home unless summoned. And you've also never ever knocked on my door since we were kids."

Taylor remained standing by the door undecided on how to proceed. Amante noticed this and invited Taylor to sit.

"How 'bout you sit and let's talk about what you're here for." Amante then led the way to the couch and sat himself on one end. Taylor hesitatingly followed and sat on the other end.

After a few minutes of silence, Taylor posed his question. "Why are you not asking me about Rain? What are you planning?"

Amante wanted to laugh at the accusatory tone Taylor used to confront him but decided against it seeing his brother's serious face. Truly, Taylor went from age 10 to 24 in a blink of an eye. It's like he stopped being a child 14 years ago and Amante knows it's because of him.

Amante sighed and said, "Let me answer the first question first. I am not asking you about Rain because I know everything I need to know about him. I do not particularly have a need to investigate your friends or in this case, your partner. Besides, you are the one who will interact with them so why will I bother digging up their secrets?"

"So you can use them on me!" Taylor blurted out.

Amante creased his brow in annoyance at his brother's outburst. "Taylor, I am not some villain that you must look out for at every step. I truly do not care if you're dating a man or whatever other preferences you have. I do not plan to do anything about this information, and I will not divulge any of it to anyone because frankly, I do not want to know much less care about the opinion of others. Also, you're a grown man, too grown up if you ask me, and as such, I trust you to have a clear understanding of the choices you've made." Amante finished.

Taylor still had this doubtful look in his face so Amante added jokingly, "If you don't trust me, we can also put everything I've said in black and white and have it notarized." Amante laughed a little, but Taylor remained stoic.

Amante sighed. "All right I'll be serious. You and I know that I owe you a great debt. I may look like I've forgotten about it but truthfully, I think about it every day that I wake up alive and well. Let's just say that me standing by your side and keeping my mouth shut about Rain is my way of thanking you for that great debt. That ok with you?"

Taylor considered Amante's word for a few moments before nodding in agreement. Taylor then rose from the couch and prepared to leave.

When Taylor was about to open the door, Amante said, "Taylor, you may not believe this, but I truly care about you and Tita Natalia. She may not treat me as if I am also his son, but she was never cruel. She never hit me but was always vocal whenever I needed to be disciplined. She may have not personally taken care of my needs, but she at least made sure I am well cared for by our nanny. I sympathize with how she suffered on her unrequited love for our father. And with that, I understand her focus on you. She may feel that you are all she has."

Amante paused as if gauging whether to tell Taylor. In the end he still warned him. "If I know about Rain, it is only a matter of time before Tita Natalia knows."

***

And it was as if Amante's words were prophetic. A week later, Natalia summoned Taylor home with a text.

'Come join me for tea this afternoon.'

Taylor's mother, Natalia, has a habit of drinking tea or sometimes coffee in the afternoon. She will have someone serve the afternoon drink at a garden set at the back of the house by the pool.

Taylor sat on the opposite side of his mother. She asked about work and engaged Taylor in some small talk as she lazily swipes at an iPad in front of her.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Natalia placed her iPad in front of Taylor. In the screen, Taylor saw a picture of him and Rain eating at a restaurant in a mall they frequent. Natalia swiped to the right and a picture of Rain leaning on Masey in front of Gerry's in Tagaytay appeared. Another swipe to the right and another picture of Taylor and Rain appeared. This one is of their trip in Boracay where Taylor's right hand's placed at Rain's waist in a proprietary way.

Taylor remained quiet the whole time Natalia showed him those pictures.

"I trust you to put an end to whatever this is as soon as possible." Natalia tapped on Taylor and Rain's photo on her tablet.

Taylor's jaw hardened at the command. This is the first time that he's finding it hard to obey his mother. Taylor wanted to argue about the unfairness of it, but he knows that it would be futile to say anything. His mother will never back down no matter what. She has made it her life's mission to control everything about Taylor. Natalia will not take less than a perfect Taylor because this would mean that Taylor will be inferior to Amante. And that in turn would mean that Natalia cannot get back at her husband for not loving her. Because the only way to get a rise out of their father is to defeat his favorite son.

When Taylor did not utter a word after her declaration, Natalia realized she will have to be tougher. "Do not force me to take action, you will not like it."

Natalia observed his quiet son and asked a confirmation, "So, can I trust you to end it as soon as possible?"

Taylor nodded once, rose from his seat and leftthe house immediately.