The Terrors of Loneliness

The Terrors of Loneliness - Chapter 6

Hannah had gone to sleep feeling safe and protected.  She awoke realising that for the first time in months she hadn’t had a nightmare.  She turned over and found the other side of the bed was empty, Lucas was gone.  Putting her hand on the sheet where he’d been lying she found it was still warm from his body so she knew he hadn’t gone far.

As she got out of bed and moved towards the doorway, she heard the shower in the bathroom.  Fetching him a towel, she went and knocked on the bathroom door.  “I’ve got you a towel.”

“Come in…I’ve not locked the door.” Hannah cautiously opened it trying not to imagine a naked Lucas in her shower.  She wasn’t blind.  When she’d studied his tattoos his taut and muscular torso had not gone completely unnoticed.

The bathroom was hot and steamy.  “I’ll just put it here,” she said placing the towel on the warm radiator and turning to leave with her eyes carefully looking only down.

“Stay and talk to me,” she looked up and found Lucas had put his head around the frosted glass screen and was smiling at her.

Smiling back at him she sat down on the chair in the corner, “What did you want to talk about?”

“You know I have to go to work don’t you?” Lucas sounded nervous.  She could see through the glass that he wasn’t standing under the shower, he was holding it in his hand instead.  Although the glass was frosted she could still make out the shape of his body…the strong legs, the curve of his buttocks, the broad shoulders…she shook herself.

“Yes of course.  I’ll be fine.”  She had to be fine she told herself.  “You know if you stand under the shower it’s a lot easier,” she said changing the subject.

“I know…I just…I can’t,” Lucas stumbled over his words.  “I have flashbacks…” he paused, “I was water-boarded.”

Hannah knew what water-boarding was, she’d seen the news and the debates in the press over whether it was considered to be a form of torture or not.  She remembered being horrified at the time that some governments deemed it an acceptable form of attempting to extract information.  She shivered and realised that Lucas had switched the shower off and was standing very still behind the glass, his hands pressed against the tiling on the wall.  Not sure what to do or say and still very aware of his nakedness she stood up. Taking the now warm towel from the radiator she stood next to the bath and looked round the shower screen.  Lucas had his eyes closed, but Hannah could see his chest was heaving.  She said his name but he didn’t seem to be able to hear her.

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Lucas’s heart was racing like it was about to explode out from his chest.  He’d been washing himself and worrying about leaving Hannah alone and then she’d said about standing under the water.  The truth was that some days he could stand under the shower it was just that today wasn’t one of those days.  Just the thought of it made him feel like he was choking and unable to breathe.  He managed to switch the shower off and was now trying desperately to catch his breath and stop his heart from racing.  All he could hear was the sound of blood rushing in his ears.  Just as he felt his legs start to give way he was enveloped in something soft and warm.

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Hannah saw he was struggling and that he was in danger of collapsing so with no other option she climbed into the bath and wrapped the towel around his shoulders.  His breathing seemed to calm at the feel of the warmth from the towel and Hannah suddenly became embarrassingly aware of his naked body again.  She was just about to turn away and climb back out of the bath when Lucas slid an arm around her and pulled her against him.  He was soaking wet from the shower and she could feel the moisture from his skin soaking through her pyjamas.  He held her so tightly she could feel his heart thumping against her cheek.