Red's Redemption ✔

Chapter 13 - Ambivalent

As we boarded the plane, I watched an emotionless Vinchenzo climb the stairs after me and sat in a comfortable seat on his private jet. We were all going back to Sicily in order to be present for Papa Vitali's funeral. On board with us were Francesca, Gianni, Tristiaan, Trevor, Dante and Sienna. All of us were dressed in black, as a sign of grieving and respect.

In the past three days since we got the news, Vinchenzo has been a stone. His emotions were as cold as a stone. His facial expression had been locked on one, the emotionless face. His beautiful green eyes who always gave away what he was feeling were now cold and cloudy. Vinchenzo was here but he was not present with us. The shock of his father's passing had not worn away as I suspected it would.

I sat beside him and gave him a sideways hug which he did not return. I didn't mind that and didn't feel offended by that because I knew what it was like to be in his shoes. I understood what he was going through as I had gone through the same wave three times now. The pain never ever shrinks, we, as humans, just grow with time and thus the pain feels as though it is shrinking and slowly dissipating with us. People grieve in different ways; this is how Vinchenzo grieved. He had never shed a tear, always silent and forever wearing his poker face. His favourite mask.

"I am here for you; I love you," I whispered to him as I placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

Francesca looked horrible. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was thrown into a bun, although that bun resembled a bird's nest more. She was constantly sipping on alcohol and never wanted to speak to anyone. This was the first time I had seen her so dishevelled. She was always a picture-perfect elegant princess. She didn't react like this when her long-time lover James was found to be a rat in our ranks. She had kept her cool.

I looked at Tristiaan with pity as he attempted to comfort her. Tristiaan had loved Francesca for as long as I have known him. I had seen him run out of his way to make sure her life was in order. He would always go out on a limb. It made me think that he was happy that James turned out to be the rat. He would never tell her that, but he probably felt very joyful.

I, on the other hand, didn't feel as bad. Sure, I felt awful that my soon-to-be-husband's father was presumably murdered but I could not forget all the bad things he had done to me. He had always been condescending towards me. He hated me. I had hoped that one day we could make amends, but I guess that day will now never come.

I shook away my thoughts and focused on Vinchenzo. I grabbed his hands and started drawing small little shapes on them as a way to comfort him.

"I am here to talk if you want," I whispered.

Vinchenzo shook his head as a small tear ran down his face. I pulled him into a tight hug and I felt him suck in a deep breath.

"I will always be by your side. No matter what." I said feeling fierce.

I hated seeing him cry. He was always the strong one between us two, but now it was my turn to take that post and help him. He needed me and I was here for him.

"He is dead." Vinchenzo choked out.

"But he will always be alive in your heart and in you and your siblings," I whispered to him as I rubbed his back and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"But he was a horrible person." He whispered and I did a double take.

I did not expect that one.

"He was still your father. No matter what, you should always choose the best memories."

"But what if you don't have any? All I remember of my father was how cruel he was. It never made sense to me how he lived like that. How his conscious didn't kill him. How he never felt guilt."

"He must have been wired that way by your grandfather. It was how he was raised."

"But I am not like that. I hate this job. I hate the mafia."

"We can either choose to break the cycle or continue it. You mentally chose to break it."

Vinchenzo laughed humourlessly, "I am worse than he is."

"You are not!" I protested.

"I kill people, Arianna."

I don't know why, but it hurt me when he called me Arianna. I was used to him calling me Red.

"People who are bad." I said.

"You don't believe that. You came to arrest me and take me to jail for life." He laughed humourlessly again, "I have corrupted you. I have poisoned you. I have dragged you into this."

"These were my decisions. I chose to see the good side that you have. I made, and make that choice every day."

"You need to leave before I make you worse."

"You need to realise something," I stated.

"What?" he asked.

"I am a fully grown woman. I am almost twenty-six years old. I can make my own choices."

"But when you met me-" He began but I cut him off.

"I was twenty-three years old when I met you. I could also make my own decisions then."

He nodded, "You can make your own decisions, but you are blinded by love."

"Leave the decision making to me. You are also blinded by self-hatred and anger." I told him calmly.

Vinchenzo sighed, "I want to redeem myself. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be a part of this world. I hate it."

"I hate it too." I whispered.

"Then lets run away. I will tell the pilot to drop us off somewhere and we can disappear for good. We can go get married and do what we want without this pressure."

Vinchenzo stood up but I yanked him back down and looked into his eyes.

"As much as I would love to drop a gear and disappear, we can't do that. You have to attend your father's funeral."

"I hate him. He is a scum. A cheater. He killed mom."

I kept quiet. I had no idea what to say.

"He thinks he is my father, but he is just a donor. He may be biologically like my father but he never acted like one. He chose himself first always. He is disgusting. I don't know how mom handled him all those years."

"She did so for you and your siblings."

"But then the bastard killed her."

"Calm down."

"No!" He protested, "He killed mom! And now he wants us to go cry at his funeral and honour him as though he deserves honour!"

"He is our father!" Francesca yelled.

"You don't know anything about him!" Vinchenzo shouted.

"It doesn't matter! He is dead." Francesca yelled.

"Good! He deserved it!" Vinchenzo yelled back and at that point, Francesca broke into a puddle of tears. 

Hey Reddies!

Happy Friday! I hope you have a splendid weekend ahead. 

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See you guys next Friday!

Xoxo

Perla