The Revolt

TR14

A sense of despondency hits me like a freight train as I feel as if I'm being hurtled back to Arston again, my body flying through space to get there.

Waking up with a start I study my surroundings, nigh has fallen whilst I was asleep.

I sigh, an emptiness I am all too familiar with clawing at my heart. If there was one thing I was able to do more than anything in the worlds right now it was completely understand what the parents in my dream were talking about. Death was one thing, not knowing what your loved one was doing or where they were was another. It was a different type of pain.

If you knew you had parents and they had passed away, sure you missed them like hell, but you'd know that that's what happened. However, if you were in my boat - The Great Unknown then you were forever wondering if you had a family, siblings, what they were like, why they deemed it necessary for putting you on another planet that doubled up as a prison for some of the most dangerous individuals, ever.

That's definitely a killer, alright.

Not for the first time in my life, was I sucked into that abyss again, The Great Unknown. Lost in the emptiness that while remained temporarily forgotten about sometimes was such a thing that would never go away completely. I knew from past experience that this descent was one which led to wallowing and lots of self pity and was currently too far gone to have the will power to get myself out again.

I lay down on the grass, lifeless, staring into the ever darker sky. I could feel the air getting colder and yet I couldn't care less, I laid there getting colder. As I relived all the moments I had yearned for a family I didn't have. How everyone seemed to be fitting in just fine and I was forever alone. I squeezed my eyes shut, against the torrent of emotions that just kept coming.

And then it happened, one moment I was laying in that garden feeling sorry for myself and the next I was in somewhere, neck deep in water, struggling to keep afloat, struggling to breathe. The water, steadily increasing, to the point where I was more than frantically kicking myself, arms flailing against this crazily rising water just for a small gulp of air. I could feel my feet being dragged down, my arms and legs burning from the exertion.

My body was giving up, I'm not entirely sure how long I was fighting against the water but it seemed like years. Too long. I knew that rest would await me after, if I just let go. I would be at peace.

Hakuna matata - I saw somewhere.

No worries for the rest of my days.

I saw a light, leading to an unknown destination, a bright white light. Blinding almost, piercing my eyes - hang on a second wasn't I drowning? What's going on?

I find myself waking up, in my room, it appears as I knew no other bed that felt as amazing as mine did. I try and fail at opening my eyes, seem like they don't want to cooperate. Next I try my hands, a small wave just to catch the attention of anybody around me.

Nope. Also not happening.

Thanks body, I knew I could rely on you.