Out of Time

Thirty One. Haiku

We are five days in and I've come to an important realization. I am well and truly fucked over this girl. I'm not one for pda at all, but roaming the streets of Tokyo here with her and not being able to touch her is absolute torture. I can handle and respect buttoning up and wearing long sleeves to conceal my tattoos. However, I am really struggling with not holding this girls hand when we are out and the urge to kiss her is one I can't figure out. The biggest shocker of all is that we haven't slept together. Obviously having one room with one king sized bed we've slept together, but we haven't had sex. I want to. God, do I want to. I'm trying to be respectful and not pressure her in any way. I'm just getting into the second and final leg of this tour and I know things are already complicated enough.

I think people would be surprised to learn this top secret fact about me; even though I've not considered myself to have been well and truly in love very many times, the few times it's truly been the real thing I fall hard and I fall fast. By day two of Everleigh being here I thought to myself I think I'm in love with her. Waking up on day five, with her hair fanned out across my chest, breathing her scent I've realized that I'm in love with her. I can't pinpoint when exactly it happened, I just knew that yesterday afternoon as we walked beneath the cherry trees again as we've done every day since she arrived, I felt that heavy, electric, feeling in not only my chest, but the pit of my stomach as well. She stood beneath them and it looked like it was snowing down on her. She was covered in cherry blossoms and laughing as if it were the best thing that had ever happened to her.

I snapped photo after photo of her as she spun around underneath the cherry trees with my vintage film camera and my heart threatened to beat right out of my chest. "Harry, you're missing how beautiful this is by being behind the lens the entire time." She laughed as she spun around like a child dancing in the rain. What she didn't know was that I wasn't missing a single thing. I was capturing the moment I fell in love with her. I would have proof of the moment I fell in love with her completely and my photos would tell the story.

We had spent hours and hours talking about anything and everything and I felt like we'd known one another our entire lives. I watched her write in her notebook in the corner coffee shop we visited each morning so far. We visited the Inokashira Benzaiten Shrine and I told her about the goddess Benzaiten who is the deity of everything that flows such as knowledge, music, art and water and how it's adapted from the Hindu goddess Saraswati. We walked the lush gardens and then we toured the Ghibli museum that is housed there. It was a perfect day.

Today is going to go either extremely well or it could all go to shit if she's not feeling the exact same way about me as I am her. I'm either going to look like the most romantic guy on the planet or the most assuming jerk she's ever known. I know I ran out and bought condoms when things got a bit heated but I'm still not assuming that it will actually happen until it happens. We both know we are prepared now, that's the only difference. It was a split second decision going out and grabbing condoms a few days ago when things got a bit heated, but here we are on day five and nothings happened still. It doesn't have to happen of course and I'm not setting all of this up for that purpose, but I won't complain if it happens either. I'm going to surprise her with a couple of days outside the city. I hoped she'd packed that swimsuit I'd told her to or else she's skinny dipping and that won't be an issue for me, but it might be for her.