Out of Time

Twenty. Going through the motions

Getting settled back into school has been challenging. I'm now suddenly a writing major again and my mind has been all over the place. Vicks has entertained me however the past few weeks with her current relationship status. The girl who hasn't had a relationship in forever now has a kinda sorta relationship and it's amusing to watch the two of them attempt to figure it out. It's odd to think that what started as a one night stand could turn into something more isn't it? Neither Vicks or Brad had any intention of getting into any sort of "thing" it seemed, but since New Years Eve they have been inseparable.

Brad seems like a nice guy and I instantly liked him. He's charming and a bit on the quiet, laid back side which is completely opposite to Vicks. I think they even each other out though. Brad has practically moved into our apartment these past two weeks and I know he's asked her to come to his place, but she's stayed to make sure I'm ok. I'm not ok, but there's nothing I can do about my situation so I'm just muddling through each day.

Brad mentioned he has a career in artist management but I didn't ask any specifics. I suspect he's loaded based on the car he drives and how he dresses. Vicks always knows how to pick them. I come home from school to find the two of them cuddled on the couch watching television. I sit on the chair opposite them and we talk about our day for a bit. Brad mentions something about having drinks for a work event and they'd love for me to join them and I politely decline. I'm not in the place to put myself out there socially right now. I excuse myself to go to my room for now and I change into some comfortable clothes and slide under my duvet and attempt to shut the world out. I reach for my phone to repeat the new habit I've developed and I open instagram. He's not posted anything since December 15 th. He's really shit at this whole social media thing which is comical. A quick search of his name reveals various "update" accounts that post anything and everything that comes across social media relating to him.

He's still in London apparently and it's so strange seeing him on my phone screen. I try to find some common thread that will link my Harry's appearance to this one on my phone screen. The eyes. His eyes. There's no forgetting those. That's the thing that draws me to my phone screen every day to look at him. It's the only thing that makes me feel a tiny bit better. His eyes are the same. I'll never forget looking into those eyes. The eyes that used to show annoyance first, then amusement and then what I would say was love, I'll never forget those eyes as long as I live.

The boy in these photos isn't the same and I almost feel guilty for looking at these photos that seem to be taken when he was attempting a disguise. It's crazy to think that I spent so much time with him never having to worry about being seen or recognized and now this version of him can't even walk down the street without being recognized. It's maddening. His hair is long and a bit rough and he has the long hair on top secured by a claw clip. He has a beard and it's not the same clean shaven face I am used to with him. That's not my Harry. Not by a long shot.