Random Thoughts

Nightmares -Bucky Barnes

Bucky has very bad nightmares.

It's just normal for him at this point and he's gotten used to waking up every night at some point, with a horrible nightmare.

The nightmares had made him a bit self conscious about being with you. You had slept together quite a few times but Bucky always left before the end of the night and it took him a while to realize it bothered you. Not realizing that it made you feel like he only wanted to sleep with you, he kept it up for a while. It was nearly a month before you told him how you felt and he swears he felt his heart break in that moment at seeing your sweet face afraid he was only into you for sex

He quickly broke down and told you the truth and you were very understanding. He didn't think you wouldn't be but he was embarrassed that he was a grown man having debilitating nightmares. You reassured him though, swearing that after everything the Sergeant had been through that it was more than understandable and that even people who haven't been through horrific trauma have nightmares sometimes.

You convinced him to stay that night and it was the first time in a very long time that he slept in a bed. It was odd for him but holding you as you fell asleep actually assisted him in drifting off on the foreign feeling plush mattress. He did have a nightmare that night and you were awoken to the sound of him mumbling quietly, the words all being Russian meaning you couldn't understand but it didn't matter. You pulled his head to your chest and ran your fingers through his hair, jostling him as you did to ensure you woke him and the mumbling stopped as you ran your nails across his scalp and whispered sweet words to him as his eyes opened. He didn't jump up or startle himself awake like he had told you, he woke gradually and calmly which was more than he had ever done before since being free and he clung to you tightly, face in your neck as he relaxed and actually drifted back off to sleep quite quickly. After that he slept through the rest of the night, staying asleep until his alarm went off at 7:00am.

You quickly changed his sleeping habits! You refused to continue to be awoken by a god awful alarm at 7 in the fucking morning so Bucky ditched the alarm, only waking early when he needed to, coming to very much enjoy sleeping in with you and having sleepy/snuggle days.

Sleepy days in bed or on the couch with you became his favorite kinds of days, not because of how often you would have sex but because you gave him something he hadn't had since he was a child. Naps!

Bucky Barnes hadn't had a nap since 1928 when he was 11 years old. It was very rare that he had a nightmare when he napped beside you but when he did, there you were to scratch your nails along his head and tell him that he was safe beside you like you did every night.

He had nightmares every night when he slept on missions, though there was rarely a time for sleep at that point. When he was in the field and he got some shut eye the nightmares always came crawling back, probably having something to do with being in an unsafe environment once again.

It didn't take long for you both to decide him sleeping with you was actually helpful for not just his recovery but his overall mental state and he moved into your apartment. You were relieved as he would have access to a bed to sleep in every night, being appalled and outraged that Bucky didn't have a fucking bed in his apartment.

The nightmares never went away and he didn't think they ever would completely but they did lessen. So much so that he went an entire week once without having a single nightmare and you for sure celebrated that. They may never be gone but they're getting better and Bucky is comforted in knowing that when he has a nightmare he will never again be alone for it