Limerence • h.s.

25

Cecily

I wake up to my phone ringing, the sound ricocheting off the walls of the hotel. My eyes squint as I pitifully try to reach for it blindly, the room too bright for my liking. I feel the edge of the screen on the tips of my fingers as I pull it towards me. I'm quickly up on one elbow, answering it without even looking to see who called.

Hello

I speak groggily, my eyes still trying to flutter awake.

Cecily, I've called you a hundred times. Something's up with mom.

I shoot up from the bed, my eyes peeled open as I process what's happening.

What do you mean? What happened?

They have her fucking tied to her bed, Cec. She had an episode early this morning, screaming at the top of her lungs about God knows what. The nurse said she went into the room and mom was just up in bed screaming, the second she saw the nurse she jumped out of bed and backed into the corner.

I freeze at her words, shocked.

It was a whole screaming match and eventually mom attacked the nurse, begging her to leave her alone. The nurse said she couldn't tell if mom was lucid or just confused or what, but they had to restrain her. She's been knocked out on sedatives for the last few hours. I don't know what to do. She was standing, Cec, walking.

My mind is racing as I peel the duvet off of me, careful not to wake Harry. I look over at him to ensure he's fast asleep before slipping out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Walking?

Yes, walking! They said they don't know how she even had the strength to stand up after being unable to walk for the past 4 years, but she did. She was all over the place, her legs obviously weak, but she still did it.

The bathroom door clicks shut as I slip inside, my back meeting the doorframe.

When are they going to stop sedating her? We need to know if she can fucking walk!

I don't know, they don't know. Nobody fucking knows what happened. It's like she lost her fucking mind but gained her legs. They think maybe she had a dream that triggered her episode, but they're not sure how to explain the spontaneous leg function.

I bring my fingertips to my quivering lips, my thoughts igniting a deep feeling of anxiety. I'm so far away, what can I do?

Jesus. What do we do? I don't know what to do.

I cry out to my big sister in the hopes that she knows anything more, that she can help. She only sighs, her voice wavering with tears of her own.

I don't know what's happening, Cec. This is all new, she's never been like this. If she was lucid, that's twice in the last week. She hasn't walked in years and now she's maybe able to walk? Don't you think that's odd?

I try to think of any justifiable reasoning, but I can't.

Something has to be happening with her brain, something we don't understand. We should have someone look at her, get another CT, MRI, something. There has to be a reason.

I hear her sigh on the other end.

Cecily, her insurance barely covers her routine care. We're already paying $1,000 a month to keep her alive.

I pull my lips inward in an attempt to keep a sob from escaping my mouth. My hands shake as I try and understand what's happening to my mother, but I have no clue.