Limerence • h.s.

23

"You're positive you're okay?" I give Megan a smile, not wanting to worry her more. I wanted her to know I was telling the complete truth.

"Megs, I'm okay."

"Okay, I just," she inhales a deep breath, her hands rubbing up and down my arms. "I just want you to know that I'm here if you need anything at a-"

"I know you are."

"I know, I know." She smiles at me now, pulling me in quickly for a hug in the middle of the hotel hallway. Harry has gone into the room while Frank waits patiently a few feet away. I squeeze Megan back tightly before pulling back. She holds me in place a little longer, though, and I relax back into her. "And I expect you'll tell me everything soon, just so you know."

I pull back to look at her, knowing exactly what she's talking about. I nod briefly, shaking my head with a smile before separating from her completely. Frank makes his way over, pulling me in for a tight hug and not saying a word. I hug him back, smiling up at Megan as she watches. "I'm glad you're okay, Cec." He whispers. I hug him tighter, letting him know I appreciate him.

"Alright, enough of this. Let's get to bed and I'll see you two at 6." I say, stepping back and waving to them as we head off in our separate ways. I dig around in my wallet, looking for the hotel key as I make my way down the hallway. Megan and Frank are gone as I reach the end, huffing out an exhausted breath. I hear the door open, Harry holding it open for me.

"Thanks, I've been digging around for my key forever," I say, slipping into the room and immediately going to the bed. I sit down on the edge, leaning my elbows on my knees. I exhale a deep breath before rubbing my eyes. I feel the bed dip next to me and sit up to look to my left at Harry. I give him a tired smile, my relaxed posture making stray strands of hair fall on my face.

He leans forward, his hand brushing it out of my face. I lean into his touch, his hand holding my cheek as I close my eyes to catch my breath for the first time all night it felt like. "Don't ask me if I'm okay, please." He chuckles under his breath, pulling me into his side by the back of my neck. I rest my head on his shoulder, letting his arms wrap around me.

"I won't, I'll just hug you if that's okay." I hug him back, my body melting into his as we hug silently. It's nearly 2:00 am and we have to be on the bus in 4 hours. My body is so tired but my mind is an endless jumble of thoughts. I keep running through every single step I took, every move I made, but I can't for the life of me remember how long I was in that alley, beating that man.

My vision had gone red, my sympathetic nervous system working in overdrive, and my body acting in a way I'd never experienced. I wasn't me, but I felt the most me I ever have after I realized that I had done it. I had held my own. As a young woman in this world, it's something we all wonder about.

'Would I be able to fight a man off? Would I die if a stranger ever got his hands on me? Am I strong enough?' It was nice to know I've done it. And I can use this pride to strengthen myself and prepare myself if there's ever another time.

I break away from Harry, looking up at him with a smile. He looks down, a soft smile on his lips. His green eyes are looking back and forth between mine, examining me. We stay like this for a few minutes, just looking at each other. It feels almost too domestic, too intimate, too much. The way he's looking at me is giving me a sense of comfort that I haven't known before.

I've always had the feeling that he sees more than I want him to when he looks at me. A sense of him looking at me for real. Looking through me, not in the way that he's looking right past me, but in a way that makes me feel like I could never hide anything from him. He sees me. And I know right now he's trying to make sure I'm not having a breakdown internally, that I really am okay.