Limerence • h.s.

08*

My blood ran cold and my legs were quick to try and give out on me. I felt like my eyes were deceiving me. My ears too. Was he really here, standing in front of me? How did he even know where I was? How could he get here? I squint my eyes in the hopes that I can verify that it's him, even though it has to be. His voice - I heard it as clear as day. It was Jackson speaking. I don't want to believe it, but he is here.

He reaches up for my arms to hold me in place, his grip tightening the more I just stared up at him in silence. How long had I been standing here, my mouth agape, in shock? And why couldn't I hear anything? I could see his lips moving, but everything around me was distorted. Nothing was clear enough for my brain to decipher. It was like my entire body had shut down. Like as soon as I slammed into him, his body took every piece of my energy for itself. 

My arms couldn't even feel his vice grip anymore, I was going completely numb. I couldn't even feel the sun on me anymore. The only thing that I knew was for sure happening was the welling of tears in my eyes, only because I could taste the salty flavor from the way they were running down my cheeks and onto my lips. Confusion was coursing through me, and none of my questions were able to be answered. I still didn't know how he knew I was here. How he got all the way here and knew exactly where to find me. It simply made no sense.

"Ho-" My voice croaked out. I couldn't get the words out. He just smiled. His lips moved again but it was no use, I still couldn't hear. I tried to pull back, get out of his grip and shake myself to my senses, but he held on tight. He wasn't going to let me go again. If I didn't snap out of this, he was going to have full control of me. I start to shake my head back and forth, trying to shock my senses back to normal. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, whacking my head back and forth a few times before I felt myself moving backward.

I opened my eyes and saw that Jackson was pulling me with him to an alley next to us. No. Absolutely not, I really need to get the fuck away from him. I'll lose any form of an upper hand if I don't even have an audience to witness him prying his hands on me. I try to force weight onto my feet, to hold myself in place, but it's no use. He keeps pushing until my back meets the brick wall of a tall building, placing us behind a dumpster. He pushes harder than I expected, my breath getting caught from the sheer force he used to pin me between him and the wall. I couldn't smell him before, but now I could smell the distinct stench of his cologne. The same cologne he's always worn. 

It was only a second, but I smelled it. And then I immediately felt all of the pain shoot up my spine. My head was hazy from the shock of hitting the wall, but I still wasn't able to move as I wanted. He had taken me so off guard, catching me at a time where I least expected him. I was no match. I couldn't even think of something to shock me out of the state I was in, to come back to earth. To take back control of my body and try to fight back. Nothing I did worked, not even blinking over and over or trying to speak. Not even hitting the wall with such force had knocked me into my senses.

I was helpless. With his hand releasing my arm and grasping my throat instead, there was nothing I could do but cry. It was like they were automatic. My subconscious knew that I was in a situation I didn't want to be in. My body knew to reject his touch, it just couldn't muster up the courage to do anything. I felt nothing until his other hand snatched the still-lit cigarette from my weak fingers. He brought it between us, holding it up between both of our eyes. He looked at it before looking back at me, shaking his head in the most daunting way. Although I couldn't hear it, I knew he had smacked his lips in disappointment. I could see it in his eyes as they moved to the left and right with the shaking of his head. 

Before I could croak out another pathetic sound, he removed it from my line of sight. His eyes had moved with it, peeking down below us. I assumed he had dropped it to the ground, but when I felt the sheer pain in my thigh, I knew he had brought it to my skin instead, through one of the many holes placed strategically in my jeans. All of a sudden, my senses were back. I could feel the pain, smell him, and hear the busy street around us. My voice was fighting to come out in a scream but his hand was quick to leave my throat and cover my mouth.