Never Enough

Chapter 7 : Brain on fire.

Pete POV

Kinn : I didn't tell anyone what happened to make him go to my cousin.

Pete : You don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it.

Kinn : I'm ready and I want to tell someone. I trust you more than enough for you to be that person. It was a rough path between him and me, especially after all the story with his mother. He blamed my father for that, he said that he couldn't trust him and I should be on his side, to stop being a puppet. It was getting more often to have a fight like that. I was in love, so to stop Porsche complaining every day, I went to my father and asked him the whole true story.

Pete : He didn't, isn't it ?

Kinn : Yes. He said the same story as the night he killed Uncle Kan. I didn't know what to do and you can easily guess that Porsche was disappointed, he said that I was a coward unable to face his own father for the love of his life. I was getting busier with new deals for the family, Porsche stopped to fight with me instead he started to hang out a lot. I thought he needed space, time, he wanted to be back as his old self to party. He was put under a lot of pressure, you know. He became the leader of the minor family for a while and even if Vegas helped him, I saw how tired it was for him. It was not surprising when he asked if Vegas could take his place. He needed to be busy himself because I couldn't have time for him. I learned that he met Vegas often when he went out. It was only at night first, then he started to meet him in the days too. I guess he was helping him for his mother where I couldn't. Weeks later, He stopped to sleep in the same bed, then the same room. In my head, I think I knew what the next step was and I did nothing to stop that. He went to his old house with his little brother because he needed to have a break. We both knew, it was not a break but it was the end. I tried to reach him, it was too late because he told me he had someone else who truly cared for him. I never thought it would be Vegas. If it was for his happiness, I was ready to give up, but him with my cousin who stole my favorite bodyguard. My world has turned upside down, it felt like the past caught me again and I would always be the coward to lose his lovers to his cousin. I was a fool to give Porsche reasons to leave me, but I was more to let you leave when I knew my cousin was not someone better. I didn't fight for my love as you did for him when he didn't deserve it. Because of me, Vegas broke up with you. I'm sorry, Pete. If I was braver..

Pete : I've fallen for a lie. He was never on my side. I didn't know it was Porsche.. I mean.. I knew he was seeing someone.. He was going out a lot at night, sometimes I was still awake to feed Venice and the bed was empty. He stopped to care about me, and when he was getting ready, he was always doing his best to be handsome as he was meeting someone he needed to impress. Do you want to know something funny ? I stopped caring about wearing cute, nice or sexy clothes. I woke up many times per night because Venice didn't make his nights until he was four months old.
I wore a big shirt with a short almost every day, taking a shower when Venice would let me do it. I didn't have the energy to fight when Vegas made those disgusted faces looking at me. I can't even tell you when he didn't touch me anymore because I can't remember. I was busy taking care of the house when he was having fun. I didn't ask for much, just a little bit of attention to feel loved, but as he told me I was too much and too clingy. Let me tell you something Kinn. We were never the problems. If they couldn't stand us, they never really loved us and we are better without them. I became a zombie doing everything for him when he never lifted a finger to help me, I was his servant. Porsche was my friend, but the way I saw it, he didn't try to understand your point of view. He was selfish. So you don't have to feel guilty. Vegas has been never mine to begin with and even if you were still with Porsche, I think he would have broken up with me at some point. I don't forgive them for the pain they did to us, but I forgive you and me to wait until the end when clearly we should have stopped those toxic relationships earlier for our own sake.