INSIDE THE CAR
Jabu: wannyela dai man
Ray: calm down
Jabu: nx....mar*t* a gae entlek nx
***Ray sighed***
Ray: we got this Jabu so don’t worry....the wives will handle all the funeral arrangement...we are burying her on Thursday... we gonna do it like white people do it....it will only be family members
***Jabu didn’t say anything***
Ray: I got this don’t worry...im just glad we didn’t bring Heath along or that uncle was gonna feel his wrath and we don’t need to stress Gogo and Mkhulu about this nonsense we will just keep them updated about everything else...they are too old for this sh*t
***then they kept quiet***
Ray: La Parca will take her soul on Thursday night...its time she went to answer for her sins
***Jabu swallowed hard looking at Ray***
Ray: I think he’s making me aware of this because she’s a daughter in law in the family or maybe there’s another reason.....i don’t know cause im just his vessel
***he sighed***
Ray: she slept with a witchdoctor to have you back.....she basically sold her soul to have you be her puppet not knowing she entered the wrong ndomba....she thought it was just sex with him to have you back but it wasn’t, he played her, he planted something in her and before it could work she was killed ....she was naïve and stupid to think she was gonna succeed
***he chuckled shaking his head***
Jabu: how...how do you know all this
Ray: Ruu told me and I have a demon attached to my soul Jabu.... each day im learning to live with it and to know how it operates....i also do researches about it.....its stuck with me whether I like it or not and I have no one to blame but myself
***Jabu sighed***
Jabu: she did all that too and they still want me to bury her
Ray: maybe they know or maybe they don’t know but what I know is you will bury her then you’ll move on...this is the end of a dark tunnel for you Jabu....this is it....don’t let anything or anyone distract you....you’re almost there
***Jabu just sighed thinking about what Ray just said to him***
Ray: something is off here.....that man....that witchdoctor....
Jabu: what about him
Ray: something is off even Ruu said it...he tried to use his crystal ball to see him but his face becomes blurry then he laughs....
Jabu: is he after us or me
Ray: I don’t know but something is off but we will get to the bottom of it
Jabu: why didn’t you tell me all this
Ray: Ruu called me when I was still in Nigeria and he was a bit worried.... we were gonna tell you after the funeral or when you are back to your usual self
***Jabu sighed***
Jabu: so Im back to my usual self
***Ray looked at him then he chuckled***
Ray: yeah you can even smile now
Jabu: mxm
***Ray laughed***
Ray: Cass already took care of the finger prints so don’t worry about Sbu
Jabu: remind me to thank him....at least I don’t have to worry about that
Ray: im still gonna whip his butt for that stunt he pulled nxa
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ON A CONFERENCE CALL
Thandi: hei bafazi I just got a call from Ray
Mbali: about the funeral arrangements.....he also called me
Thandi: yeah
Phumi: ooh so Jabu will bury the dead witch
***Thandi laughed***
Mbali: ha ah Phumi
Phumi: it’s the truth moes
Mbali: where is Star
Thandi: she’s standing in for Heath in a meeting with some suppliers because he had to attend another important one since Jabu and Ray went to Amo’s place
Mbali: that’s nice.... hubby and wifey standing in for each other.... I can already see her cat walking in a room full of horny men glowing in her high heels.....im sure by now all those perverts envy Heath shem
***they laughed***
Thandi: im sure Heath won’t allow her to go to a meeting with a room full of men only its just the suppliers Mbali...yho he would die of heart attack my poor brother
Phumi: he likes to act like he’s not obsessed with her but we see him....
Mbali: mmmmh
Phumi: uthi mmmmh....wena Ray is worse with you
***Thandi laughed***
Mbali: and Ruu is not?
***Phumi laughed***
Thandi: wena Cass even turned you into his female version to keep you as his forever and ever
***they laughed some more***
Mbali: hai we are f*ck*d shem....anyway we will update Star later then
Thandi: yep anyhuu....we have three days to arrange it because the guys ba re she should be buried on Thursday....
Mbali: yeah hubby said they will make sure the body is moved from the government mortuary today to a private funeral parlour
Thandi: mmmmh money talks akere so....catering ya a black kasi funeral (a traditional township funeral catering) or sandwiches and drinks
Mbali: sandwiches and drinks and im thinking the funeral service should be at a nice venue(nyana) and not at Jabu’s
Phumi: mmmmh she will move from the funeral parlour to her mother’s house where she died so they collect her soul...well that’s if the angel of death hasn’t collected it already.... then she will go to the venue for like an hour or so then to the grave yard and Amen...
Thandi: Mbali should be the one to know if hubby has collected the soul or not
Mbali: tsek Thandi the wizard’s wife!
***they laughed***
Mbali: anyway from the grave yard then back to the venue to eat then we are done
Thandi: ok I agree too but nna I won’t go to the graveyard I’ll remain at the venue to make sure everything is fine cause im still breastfeeding
Phumi: as for me you know the sun is my enemy so someone should take a live video for me
Thandi: ai wena le allergy ya letsatsi (sun)
***they laughed***
Mbali: but she died painfully bafazi
Thandi: yah...ne e le moerskond ya mosadi but she didn’t deserve to go out like that man
Phumi: well her husband satan called for her so who are we to say no
***Thandi laughed her butt off***
Thandi: Phumi o savage
Phumi: pretty girl Lile is dead because she couldn’t keep her legs closed so I don’t feel any sympathy for her shame
***they kept quiet when they thought of Lile***
Phumi: anyway you remember the daughter in law I told yall about
Mbali: the one that is not yet born....yho mara this family iNetflix nje
***Thandi laughed***
Thandi: true...i cant even keep up and its strange that we all have accepted everything the way they are
Mbali: love and loyalty bafazi
Thandi: plus sejeso ( love potion)
***they laughed ***
Phumi: wena Mbali you are worse...you share a bed with the grim reaper and you gave birth to a little cute demon child
***they laughed***
Mbali: love mfazi...love
Thandi: plus sejeso ( love potion)
Mbali: you know I thought I will get married to a normal guy and have a normal marriage with normal kids but fate or whatever it was...was like uyanya shame....you gonna get the worst of them all
***they all laughed***
Phumi: eish we even diverted from what I wanted to tell yall...anyway the mother and father are both dead but she survived
Thandi: hai wena.... what....what happened
Phumi: some evil Vamps wanted her blood so yah....Hubby saved her but her parents didn’t make it shame
Mbali: shame mara...where is she...so are you gonna raise her
Phumi: Cass said its not a good idea so she’s gonna be raised by someone Cass trusts mxm
Thandi: askies I know how much you want to raise a baby girl
Phumi: Cass seems to believe Thea’s first child will be a girl so for now im waiting
Mbali: heh Phumi...i almost fainted when I saw your son’s recent photo....konje how fast do Vamp babies grow
Phumi: hai angazi nami but Ruu said its normal
Mbali: like I said this family INetflix nje
Thandi: you can say that again
***they continued to chat over the phone***
____
AT THE RESTAURANT
***They walked in and Mpande pulled a chair for Hills and she thanked him and sat down then he sat down too facing her....she looked at his bruised knuckles and she sighed...her mind went back to Tarek, she wondered if he’s ok and that Mpande didn’t cause too much damage....She took out her phone not aware that he was staring at her as she sighed continuously....As she was about to dial his numbers he grabbed it and put it on the table***
Hills: ummm excuse me...what do you think you are doing
Mpande: you’re not about to disrespect me by calling that boy in front of me
Hills: Mpande....
***she sighed closing her eyes for a sec then she looked at him***
Mpande: and yes I beat the crap out of him
***she looked at him with a frown on her face***
Hills: why....you didn’t have to hurt him like that...violence is not the answer
Mpande: it is to me if you insult me.....and umtshele ukuthi eyamadoda ayipheli ( and tell him im not yet done with him) so im still gonna panel beat him some more every time I see him until im satisfied ukuthi uzwile
***she sighed sitting back and looking at him...this guy is insane “she thought” ***
Hills: what will you achieve by doing that Mpande
Mpande: satisfaction
***she rolled her eyes done with this conversation***
Mpande: don’t ever roll your eyes at me ever again Ntabeni....that’s pure disrespect
Hills: can we just discuss the invoice you got so I pay you
***he didn’t say anything...he just looked at her***
Mpande: you haven’t apologized for rolling your eyes at me Ntabeni
Hills: what
**** she asked chuckling a bit but he didn’t smile or laugh.....he was dead serious***
Hills: you’re serious
Mpande: im waiting
Hills: wow...ok geh abuti...im sorry for rolling my eyes at you....happy now...can we get this over and done with
Mpande: uyichithe ngo “happy now”.....uyabona wena Ntabeni ufuna nje inkonzo yasekamelweni ngiyingenise busuku bonke lakuwena....Umuntu akshaye nje ngenduku emnandi busuku bonke...uchame ungaqedi ukuthi ukwazi ukungihlonipha ( you ruined it with “happy now”.... you see Ntabeni you just want me to f*ck you the whole night....give you a good d*ck the whole night making you squirt none stop so you’ll respect me)
Hills: huh..... ok can you translate that cause im not really that good with Zulu
Mpande: indoda yomZulu ayikhulumi into eyodwa kabili ( a Zulu man doesn’t say one thing twice)
Hills: yho Modimo.... ok I understood that one .....so ndoda ya moZulu ( Zulu man) can we talk about what brought us here so I can leave
***the waiter brought them their drinks and asked if they are ready to order and Hills said no....Mpande ordered his usual cheddar melt steak , French fries and veges and also ordered that for Hills and the waiter left***
Hills: im not staying for long so you didn’t have to order for me
Mpande: says who
Hills: me....and plus im on a diet so what you ordered for me is not good for me
Mpande: athi diet ( she says diet)....diet for what
***she sighed***
Hills: remember ke fatty boom boom as you called me
***he sighed***
Mpande: but I apologized ntombenhle
Hills: can we just talk about what brought us here
***he looked at her and he could see she’s still hurt by that....he sighed and smiled***
Mpande: what brought us here is food and a good conversation
Hills: no.... its me paying you for damaging your car...you know what I don’t even know why Masai gave you my numbers....how did you even found out where I lived cause Masai said she only gave you my numbers
Mpande: I have my ways
Hills: what are you trying to do Mpande....what’s all this ...we don’t like each other so why all this
***he didn’t answer her....he just looked at her cause truthfully he didn’t have an answer to that question...she sighed***
Hills: can we just talk about the payment so I can leave
***Mpande’s phone rang and he answered***
Mpande: foza
Heath: what the hell did that guy do to you man
***Mpande chuckled***
Mpande: he disrespected me
***he said looking at Hills***
Heath: damn im sure you dislocated his jaws and broke his nose
Mpande: well next time I’ll crush his b*lls
***Heath laughed***
Heath: well I took care of the footage
Mpande: ngiyabonga bafo I’ll take care of the rest
Heath: sho
***they ended the call and Mpande sighed and took a sip of his drink***
Mpande: phuza phela isabanda ledlink yakho ( drink up while your drink is still cold)
Hills: you didn’t have to say dlink Mpande...you can pronounce the “r” bathong
Mpande: ngumZulu mina so you have to get used to it
Hills: I don’t have to get used to anything....will we ever talk about what brought us here
Mpande: ok....imnadi ichedda melt steak ya la neh ( the cheddar melt steak here is nice right)
***Hills sighed defeated....this guy is just too much “she thought” ***
Hills: yho Modimo
Mpande: can we just enjoy our meal first then we will talk about the accident
***she sighed giving up....this guy was just impossible to deal with “ she thought again”***
____
THE FOLLOWING DAY
AT AMO’S HOME
***Mbali and Naledi walked inside the yard looking dashing with sunglasses on....they both glowed in the sun and smelt expensive....They dressed to kill today for a purpose, you could tell they are rich housewives....Everyone inside the yard felt intimidated by them.....They greeted and everyone greeted back like they are forced to do so even other women were giving them nasty looks while men drooled over them....One of Amo’s cousins took them inside and they walked inside the room Amo’s mother is in and they greeted respectfully and sat down...the neighbours who were inside the bedroom excused themselves to give them privacy ***
Naledi: mama I don’t know if you remember us....im Naledi and this is Mbali
***Amo’s mother just nodded with a straight face while the aunt looked at them up and down with what looked like a disgusted look on her face....After Jabu called them and told them that Amo will be buried on Thursday she felt like it was too soon...She tried to reason with him that there are family members who live far and that they won’t be able to make it but Jabu stood his ground.....she couldn’t even believe it when he told her they have already moved her body from the government mortuary to a private funeral parlour without informing her....She regretted agreeing to having her daughter to be buried by Jabu just to save face...the worst of hem all was that she won’t be able to go bath her daughter’s body one last time because the funeral parlour bathes the bodies themselves and they also dress them themselves***
Mbali: ummm we are sorry for your loss mama and the whole family...duduzekani
UncleTshepo: ro duduzeka byang ( when they killed her and the killers are out there enjoying themselves....kamo that boy is doing as he pleases....my sister here cant even go and bath and dress her daughter for the last time cause her daughter’s husband decided to do as he pleases with this funeral!!!
*** the uncle said angrily and Mbali sighed***
Mbali: ummm baba thina we are just daughter in laws send here to get info for Amo’s obituary....we were told yesterday to arrange the funeral so asazi lutho nathi ( we know nothing)
Uncle: lies!!...do you see how broken my sister is...do you...how can that boy do this to her
***Mbali sighed...she was getting annoyed***
Mbali: ngenhlonipho nokusthoba baba maybe you should talk to the elders about this.....you are directing your anger at the wrong people
***the aunt clapped her hands dramatically***
Aunt: so us saying he should bury her you all decided to show us your true colours
Naledi: aunty that’s not true
Tshepo: its true.....im sure that boy got her killed....he paid people to do it I know it....how can he bury my niece so quick as if she’s an orphan......why is he not doing the right things....everything is quick quick
Mbali: then you should’ve buried her then
Aunty: askies
Mbali: yho im so done with this
***Naledi sighed she could see tempers are high now and Mbali is getting angry***
Naledi: maybe we should leave
***she said getting up***
Tshepo: nyenyi we should leave.....sacrificial lamps tsa dimpya tsa go thwala ( for cultists)
Naledi: askies
Aunty: trophy wives pampered with blood money nxa
Mbali: heh heh
***she laughed getting angry***
Tshepo: they failed to come and ba romela difebe tsa bona ( their whores) thinking we will pretend all is well...bannyile
Mbali: what did you just call us....ulale nathi wena for you to call us that
Naledi: lets just leave Mbali they are not worth it
Tshepo: wena ke tla go tlosa botshwafe boo ka mpama ( I’ll remove that albinism with a slap)
***Naledi laughed wearing her sunglasses***
Naledi: botlose uncle.....o Modimo wena ankere ( remove it uncle....you’re God right)
Mbali: see you at the funeral
***she got up and wore her glasses too***
Tshepo: that’s funeral wont happen....go tell that blood sucking family of yours gore ke re that funeral wont happen
Aunt: aiyyeee trophy wives tsa go apara designer clothes tsa go rekiwa ka blood money ( trophy wives that wear designer clothes that are bought with blood money).....you think we don’t know
Mbali: says a shameful and greedy family of a whore that sleeps with cultists....i hope sacrificing Jabulile made ya’ll rich nxa
Naledi: Mbali lets go let’s not stoop to their level
Aunt: o reng wena
Mbali: maybe everyone outside should know the kind of child you raised....you judged Jabu when he wanted to marry her because of his lifestyle not knowing you gave birth to a witch
Tshepo: voetsek leave!!!
*** He said getting up and Mbali laughed walking out followed by Naledi and they found people in the dining room looking towards the passage leading to the bedroom...they walked out and went to their car...They got in and Naledi drove off leaving dust behind.....Mbali called Ray***
Ray: my love
Mbali: I’ve never been insulted like I was today Ray.....we were called names Ray....he called us izifebe...thina Raymond.....do they know who the fuck I am....where I come from and who im married to
Ray: what
Mbali: they called us sacrificial lamps Ray....that we are wearing designer clothes bought with blood money
Ray: they said what!!!
Mbali: I asked you if you’re sure about burying that bitch Ray....now...now...you know what f*ck them...they can bury her for all I care
***Naledi just kept quiet as she drove***
Ray: drive to Jabu’s straight ....where is Star
Mbali: she’s the one driving
Ray: drive carefully.... don’t worry they will pay for insulting you...they will
Mbali: they better....im no one’s sacrificial lamp mina.... nxa with a house that smells like potpourri and urine mixed together
***Naledi laughed***
Ray: calm down my love you don’t want Saint to react
Mbali: maybe he should....they deserve to be taught a lesson...in fact he should torment them until they run mad especially that ugly fat fool that called us whores as if we once sold imomozi kuye nxa ( p*ssy to him nxa)
***Ray sighed... he knows that when his wife is this pissed off Saint will wake up and react***
Ray: my love calm down and drive safely...i love you
*** they ended the call***
Naledi: o re potpourri mixed with what
***Mbali laughed***
Mbali: but vele that house had a funny smell
***Naledi sighed***
Naledi: im worried about Heath’s reaction...gape that husband of mine ke letlhanya nyana ( is a little crazy)...all hell will break lose
Mbali: im so angry right now that even if he decides to go there and deal with them I’ll accompany him
***Naledi sighed***
Naledi: yho ratla ra rugiwa tjo
____
AT JABU’S HOUSE
***Tiara gets out of the car and she takes her bag with...Since the schools are closed she went to visit Mbali her aunt and today she was bored at home since Mbali left in the morning to go to Jabu’s place for the funeral arrangements, so she asked Mbali if she can come to Jabu’s place since Heath’s first daughter Omphile is there and they go to the same school. ...
The grannies are looking after the babies while Mbali and Naledi firstly went to the caterer’s place and then they’ll go to Amo’s home for Amo’s obituary ( well that didn’t go well) then they will go print out the programs ( which will not happen) and go back to Jabu’s ...while back home Thandi is busy on the phone with the venue people then she’ll call the florist for the flowers and Amo’s family will deal with the Priest/Pastor for the funeral ( which they might not do after the exchange of ugly words between them and the daughter in laws)..... As for the guys they are dealing with the funeral parlour and the graveyard ....
Anyway she walked inside the house with her JBL Bluetooth headphones around neck looking good and she stopped on her track with her eyes popped out when she saw MJ and Sbu sitting in the lounge....She slowly turned to walk into the kitchen area but Sbu saw her ***
Sbu: hey Tee
***she stopped on her tracks and when she turned MJ was looking at her with his eyes popped out....he didn’t expect to see her at all ***
Tiara: hey
*** she said waving awkwardly then she looked at MJ ***
Tiara: hey MJ
***he cleared his throat***
MJ: he...hey
***Sbu got up and went to give her a hug***
Sbu: I didn’t know you were coming
Tiara: I was bored at Khari’s place so I asked if she can have the driver drop me of here since Omphile is also here
MJ: am I not gonna receive a hug too
***she smiled awkwardly as he walked to where she was standing with Sbu and she hugged him....he closed his eyes as he felt Goosebumps all over his body and his heart beat so fast that he thought it was gonna explode.....she tried to move back but he held on to her as his boner grew inside his sweatpants and mind you the boy is packing in there....She felt it then she tried to move back again but he kept her in place ***
MJ: you smell so good
***Sbu cleared his throat***
Sbu: ok let the poor child go man
***MJ let her go and she moved back feeling uncomfortable...her eyes involuntarily moved to his lower body and yep it was up...she cleared her throat looking away***
Tiara: ummm where is Omphile
Sbu: in the backyard with Lesedi....well she’s probably on her phone
MJ: I didn’t know you visited my brother’s place....i would’ve come there instead
Tiara: ummm excuse me guys
*** She quickly went to the sliding door leading to the backyard and Sbu hit the back of MJ’s head***
MJ: ouch man...what the f....
Sbu: can you just hold yourself...you’re scaring the poor child
MJ: damn she looks good man....she’s....perfect
Sbu: I thought you’re over her
***he said as they went to sit down***
MJ: that’s my future wife there
***Sbu laughed***
Sbu: keep dreaming....her father will skin you alive bro....
MJ: I will fight to make her mine until I take my last breath....she’s gonna carry my babies that one...even if it means we elope to be together I’ll do it
***he said with a serious look on his face***
Sbu: damn
MJ: I may joke around a lot but with her im for real....she’s gonna be mine...im just waiting for her to grow a little then I’ll make my move again
Sbu: that’s if some boy doesn’t sweep off her feet
MJ: that day I will go to the deep jungle of Congo to bewitch that guy.....that’s my girl man.....
***Sbu laughed***
MJ: I think getting her pregnant will make her father approve of us....i mean they won’t force her to abort....right
***A wooden spoon landed on top of MJ’s head then at Sbu’s head too.....they screamed ducking holding their heads getting off the couch and found Jabu’s mother behind the couch and they looked at her with their eyes popped out asking themselves how much she heard***
Jabu’smom: uthini wena ne khanda eli khulu!!! ( big head what did you say)
MJ: ouch aunty
Sbu: ishuuu
***he said rubbing where its aching***
Jabu’smom: who are you getting pregnant....uyahlanya yini ( are you crazy)...and wena Sbusiso you’re encouraging him...Uencourager amasimba Sbusiso ( you’re encouraging sh*t Sbusiso)
Sbu: no gogo
Jabu’smom: no yamasimba
***Sbu kept quiet***
MJ: aunty come on we were just talking...nothing serious
Jabu’smom: do I look like a fool to you MJ
MJ: no
Jabu’smom: come here...both of you
***they looked at her with fearful eyes then they looked at one another and they shook their heads no***
Jabu’smom: you know you can’t outrun me MJ with that leg
MJ: aunty come on....we are boys and boys always talks nonsense....all that’s ringing in our ears is girls girls girls...we were just talking aunty...you should be happy that we are not gay
Jabu’smom: yoh this child
Sbu: yes....gogo come on...we were just talking...he was talking about some girl back in Nigeria.... right MJ
MJ: yes yes....she left for the UK and we had a thing...i was just making up stories...you know me and stories aunt
Jabu’smom: nx....just get any girl pregnant and you’ll see.....infact next year June Jabu should send you to the mountain...we don’t do that in our family but lena you are an exception .....le ya komeng ya Mapulana ( you’re going to be initiated by Mapulana tribe) ....maybe if they smear you ka letsoku and you get fed pap and cabbage that doesn’t have salt and its cooked only by water those big head of yours will work properly....Le ya komeng lena ( you are going to be initiated)... mxmui struu
***she said pointing at them then she left mumbling things***
MJ: chai....what kind of wahala be this.....my ancestors keep failing me...i wonder what did I do to them for them to fail me like this.....
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TO BE CONTINUED....
#TO-DARE-IS-TO-DO
