LORRAINE
*** let me die this instant....this embarrassment is gonna stay with me for the rest of my life ***
Jabu: im gonna ask you one last time.....what did that bastard do
***he looks livid***
Me: he just scared me by coming towards me shouting....i thought he’ll hit me but he didn’t he walked out when I told him to
*** I said sobbing....he clenched his jaws looking down then he walked to me and out of the blue he picked me up and walked to the bathroom with me....we got there and he put me down and filled the bathtub with water and foam bath***
Jabu: take off your clothes
Me: huh
Jabu: I’ve seen you naked before Lolly so take off your clothes
***yes but that was years back....bathong this guy....i just sighed and waited for the bathtub to fill up then took off my clothes and I got inside the bathtub while he picked my clothes and left the bathroom with them....i took a deep breath and relaxed in the water....my life will never know peace and I don’t think this love thing is for me***
NARRATED
*** Jabu put her clothes inside her washing machine and he went back to the bathroom***
Jabu: eish that machine of yours is complicated
***Lorraine opened her eyes and told him what to press and he went back then soon came back and he sat on the edge of the bathtub and sighed popping his knuckles***
Jabu: I know his brother abused you but what I want to know is how much damage was done to you for you to react like that
***Lorraine swallowed hard***
Jabu: ka jaja( I know) its not easy to talk about it but I want to know
***she sighed***
Lolly: he used to slap, punch and kick me whenever he felt like it
***Jabu swallowed hard***
Lolly: I did get help but some situations just trigger you and you start reliving that traumatizing time of your life again but I’ll be fine
***Jabu didn’t say anything he just kept quiet looking down for some time***
Jabu: im sorry for how I treated you
***Lolly didn’t say anything***
Jabu: I was in denial and I messed up pretty bad Lorraine...i don’t know what to do to make it up to you and to make you forgive me
***Lolly sniffed***
Lolly: why...what did I do to you to get that treatment from you and to get blamed for your daughter’s death
***Jabu clenched his jaws***
Lolly: I want to know Jabu cause that broke my heart to the core
Jabu: I was wrong to say all that....it was pain and regret talking and im sorry
Lolly: that’s not what I want to know
Jabu: im not ready to talk about it
Lolly: then leave...the day you’ll be ready you know where to find me
***he raised his head and looked at her frowning***
Lolly: tsamaya Jabu ( leave Jabu)
***he sighed and he got up and left the bathroom and Lorraine’s tears gushed out and she sobbed***
---------
HILLS (SHALATE)
***Im sitting in mama’s beautiful garden taking in its beauty and the fresh smell that has filled the air....she’s into flowers and this garden looks amazing and the gardener she hired knows his job shem. Im back home and I must say it’s been tough, im taking every day as it comes and I can say some days are better than others and im glad mama is not pushy...My marriage neh or should I say my dead marriage...i still can’t believe Tar did and said that to me, I was hurt and broken that he cheated but him calling me barren just broke me more that I already was.....He called me barren, I still cant believe it***
Voice: I hope o planner a vacation you’ll have after your divorce is final not di suicide or staying in a polygamy marriage Shalate
***It’s the house help....we call her aus’Vee, her name is Velemina...She’s crazy like mama and we don’t treat her like a house help....she’s like family and she treats us good and we give her the respect she deserves....She’s loyal to mama shem no lies....you should find them gossiping about someone yho you’ll feel sorry for that person ***
Me: bathong aus’Vee suicide vele
Vee: gape lona ma2000 ga le tshepisi ( you 2000 generation cant be trusted)
Me: me le2000
Vee: hai suka...you may not be one but you look like one
***she said sitting down next to me and I laughed lightly***
Vee: Paulos ke bosso...garden e e smart man ( Paulos is the boss...this garden is beautiful)
Me: mmmmh
***I said smiling then I sighed***
Vee: everything will be fine you’ll see....o kgonne go mover on from Mhlaba’s death something that brought you down to your knees so monna ke eng ( so what is a man)....worst part was le Zulu le mmagwe wa s#febe ( worst part a Zulu one with a wh#re of a mother)
Me: haai aus’Vee
Vee: keng...ke sona vele ( what...she is).... anyway do you remember the promise you made to your sister
***I swallowed hard and looked down***
Vee: don’t do what she did....even after Doris brought that fool down to his knees and made life miserable for him but he’s still alive....his mother still sees him and Mhlaba is gone so no man is worth you killing yourself for
***I sniffed as tears ran down my cheeks***
Vee: even if you kill yourself or stress yourself to death he will move on and marry that girl and live happily le family ya gagwe wena o tla be o le busy o imelwa ke mmu lala( with his family and you’ll be the one dead)....so accept that he hurt you and start healing form that pain then divorce if you cant share him then mourn your marriage and move on....Life is too short rato laka
Me: I don’t know how to move on and accept that its over
Vee: don’t force things....take your time....i also took my time
***I looked at her wiping my tears off***
Vee: I was once married
Me: noo
Vee: yep and I loved him shem in fact I worshiped the ground her walked on and that was my first mistake.... you see we were once happy, he treated me good and made me happy shem but ka bati i started having problems with my uterus...sekgowa lala ( English lala), uterus wenaaaa
***She said the last part dramatically and I found myself laughing***
Vee: my discharge was smelling really bad and it got worse when I couldn’t hold my pee anymore and I was always in pain, ne ke nkga ( I smelled really bad) Shalate even after bathing still ne go tshwana ( I would still smell), I used to wear an adult diaper....so one day I went to see another doctor to know what I can do cause I was in and out of hospital and the doctor that helped at the hospital told me one thing and I just couldn’t accept what he told me....after some tests he also said I need to remove it...Yho...
***she clapped her hands dramatically***
Vee: he said I either remove it or live like this for the rest of my life and that it will get to a point where it will turn into cancer so the second opinion and the pain I felt made me speak with the now ex and we agreed that im removing it
***she sighed***
Vee: the surgery went well and with time I healed and that’s when masepa ( sh#t) started happening....tonki ele ( that donkey) started changing and I knew he’s cheating....i used to beg him asking him why he’s treating me like that, why he doesn’t sleep at home anymore, why he doesn’t look at me like he used to, why he doesn’t touch me anymore but he would get mad and hit me but I would still forgive him shem.... the only time he would touch me is if he’s drunk and he’d become rough....he would turn into an animal and when he’s done I’ll be left with bruises and an aching body and bleeding nunu and hurtful words he can never take back
***yho***
Vee: but I would still cook for him, clean the house, respect him and even wash his clothes....
***she chuckled shaking her head***
Vee: ne kele bari yong ( I was a fool)....anyway when he started calling me mosadi wa Modimo deep down I knew I lost him but I was in denial shem, I continued to be the good wife until one day he came home with a woman and told me to go sleep in the guest bedroom cause he want to sleep with her on our matrimonial bed....i fought Shalate but he was stronger than me so he beat me up black and blue and he locked me in the guest bedroom and I could hear them having sex in my bedroom, my bed
***tears are running down my cheeks.....men are trash....wow I cant believe this***
Vee: I tried multiple times to take my life but God and my Ancestors would say...jy is mal ( you’re crazy)
***she laughed... she’s strong shem***
Vee: one day he back home and he kicked me out insulting me and for the first time since he started changing he called me a she-man, a re ke nnyomba (he said im barren)....he said im not woman enough since I don’t have a womb....he said I should become gay now since im womb less and he said all that in front of the neighbours kicking and dragging me out
***she took a deep breath ***
Vee: long story short I picked myself up with the help of my aunt, may her soul rest in peace and I must say it wasn’t easy at all....its never easy.....and I found a job here and your mother neh, that woman ke starring sa di ghumghedlela....she saw the pain in my eyes and said that whenever I want to talk she’s there.... Then one day it became too much when I bumped into my ex and the woman he cheated with and she was pregnant while the ex was holding a baby girl in his arms....i opened up to Dee and she got me help and here I am today
***wow...im here crying my eyeballs out and she’s cool like a cucumber.....i guess she has healed***
Vee: so I survived all that and so will you....dont rush things and don’t wait for his karma to visit him wena focus on you and heal and leave everything to God and... Doris
***I found myself laughing with tears all over my face***
Vee: all I want from you is to allow yourself to feel the pain then start healing and you’ll see everything will be fine....Mhlaba allowed depression to take over and she killed herself for tonki ela .....wa bona depression ke masepa dai deng....o tla ipotsa gore motho o shap cause wa tshega and o pila o be o ipotse gore was glower khante o glower depression mmh....depression e le yona e mo glowisang so we are not waiting for depression, now we gonna go get drunk cause Doris is not coming back today o sa ilo jewa moghele..... ( Mhlaba allowed depression to take over and she killed herself for that donkey....you see depression is sh#tty...you’ll think the person is fine because she’s laughing and she looks beautiful and you’ll even think she’s glowing but you’ll find out she’s glowing depression...depression will be the culprit so we are not waiting for depression...now we gonna go and get drunk cause Doris is not coming back today, the girl is going to get f#ck#d)
Me: ausVee that’s my mom
Vee: hai suka...your mom wa jewa vele
***I give up with her shem***
Vee: as I was saying...we gonna get drunk, dance, cry then pass out and wena tomorrow you’ll contact that therapist Dee found for you and you’ll go get help...askere lala
***I nodded then breathed out and she stood up***
Vee: ooh I also have some weed....e betha strong so a re ye ( its strong so lets go)
***you heard right.....she’s over 40 with a banger body and she drinks and smokes weed like crazy but the face says ngiyaphuza and kakhulu futhi ( I drink a lot) but we love her like that***
----------
NARRATED ( Tshimologo)
***Tshimo walked in with food and she put the plate down looking at the mystery man***
Tshimo: you cant eat lying like that...ok I’ll be back
***she walked out again and the guy breathed out....he doesn’t understand why she’s helping him out like this, she doesn’t even know him to be helping him like this....it kills him that besides not having control over his body he also doesn’t know who he is......he doesn’t even know that the name he remembers is his or someone else’s....he closed his eyes for a brief second and he saw numbers on a phone....like someone was dialling them....He quickly opened his eyes and suddenly developed a headache....he closed his eyes again and the headache went away slowly and he opened his eyes when Tshimo walked in***
Tshimo: right you need to get dressed and I need to help you to sit up so you’ll brush your teeth and eat
***he swallowed hard***
Tshimo: sa wara ( don’t worry) I’ve already seen you naked
***he sighed...”this girl is weird” he thought....anyway she helped him get dressed and his member betrayed him....he stood firm and Tshimo tried by all means to ignore it while the guy is just embarrassed ***
Tshimo: there we go so I have to put you on the floor so I’ll turn the mattress this side and I’ll be able to put pillows on the wall so you’ll sit up ok
***he just nodded...he hated this.....he’s twice her size and on top of that she’s short....” why didn’t I just die” he thought....anyway she dragged him from the mattress and she changed its position and pushed it to the wall then she pulled him back on the mattress and put pillows on the wall and helped him sit up with his back against the wall then she sat down breathing heavily....he was impressed by her strength***
Man: you ok
Tshimo: o boima yeer ( you’re heavy)
Man: why are you doing this
***she sighed and shrugged her shoulders***
Tshimo: because I trust my gift and I have a good heart
Man: you could be putting your life in danger mama....what you’re doing is risky
***she ignored that “mama” part***
Tshimo: like I said I trust the gift I have, I trust God and I trust my Ancestors
Man: even at that you shouldn’t be too trusting remember the devil is sly and he can pretend to be your guides so you help and he strikes
***Tshimo swallowed hard looking at him***
Man: im not trying to scare you but just be careful
***she nodded and she got up and walked out***
Man: shit...i can give advices about the devil but I fail to remember who I am
***he said to himself sitting there then she walked back in and put a washing basin with water inside and put toothpaste on a toothbrush she’s holding and she gave it to him***
Tshimo: this you can do yourself
***he nodded looking at her and she didn’t look happy....he slowly brushed his teeth and after he was done she took the dirty water and walked out***
Man: eish
****she came back and gave him a face cloths and he wiped his mouth and hand and she gave him his food then he grabbed her hand and her eyes popped out as she looked at him tensed and he slowly let go of her hand and she moved away from him with her heart beating fast***
Man: im sorry.... I just wanted to say im sorry about what I said
***she frowned***
Man: after I said that about the devil you changed and im sorry
***she sighed***
Tshimo: you shouldn’t apologize....im not mad at you....im mad cause you’re right....im too trusting and I always get hurt...always but I never learn...my kind heart is to be blamed
***he sighed and took the spoon and started eating slowly as she walked out***
----------
LATER ON
JABU
***I know she told me to leave but I cant...she’s not ok and im not about to leave her like this.....i know she’s mad cause I cant tell her why I treated her like that and why I said its her fault Lile is gone but I cant tell her she’s my chosen one and my daughter is gone cause I didn’t listen to their warning....As for that bastard one day is one day, for now Ruu’s advice is working in my favour but if it stops working im doing things my way....my phone rings and it’s a number I don’t recognize***
Me: sho
Voice: h...hi Jabu its me Amogelang
***I felt my insides turn and my hands start shaking as anger takes over***
Me: o nyakang ( what do you want)
Amo: im sorry Jabu please forgive me
***she said crying***
Jabu: I SAID WHAT DO YOU WANT MAHN!!!
***he said shouting standing up which made Lorraine to startle inside the bedroom***
Amo: to meet and talk....please
Jabu: im sure baoloya wena....in fact baloi bao berekisa wena ( im sure you’re bewitched...in fact the witches are using you)
Amo: baby im....
Jabu: hei hei hei....baby mo mang....wa tshwarega neh...ke baby ya gao nna
***Amo kept quiet a bit***
Amo: I want to fix things Jabu please just...for Sbu Jabu lets fix things for him he needs both his parents
Jabu: askies
Amo: im his mother and nothing will change that...i love that boy Jabu and im sure its killing him that things between us are like this and im willing to fall pregnant again to replace what we lost....im willing to do anything to have you forgive me Jabu
***Jabu chuckled not believing that that’s what he married....he asked himself if he was that blind to have fallen to her...he was confused cause the Amo he dated and married is nothing like this Amo....something must be wrong cause nobody changes like this or she was pretending all along “ he asked himself ” ***
Jabu: I would say tsamo thwasa cause ekare o gafisa ke badimo but no wena o no tlhoka weskoppies fela...stop calling me ompotsa masepa...infact ompotsa nnyw#n# ....mot#t# fela nxa you should’ve been the one who’s dead not Jabulile....O RE YOU WANT TO REPLACE MY DAUGHTER THE ONE YOU AND YOUR CULT BOYFRIEND KILLED HEH....YOU WANNA REPLACE HER WITH YOUR BEWITCHED WOMB....O NTLWAELA NNYW#N# AMOGELANG....WANNYELA MSUNU....WANTLWAELA WENA NXA....never call me wankutlwa....never ever
Amo: Jabu
***she said crying***
Jabu: FOTSEK!!!!
***then he dropped the call and threw his phone against the wall screaming which made Lolly to jump frightened, she’s been standing there listening and looking at him as he insulted his wife ....he paced up and down trying to calm down and tears ran down his cheeks.....he’s even shaking***
Jabu: ko healer byang heh....ko healer byang Lorraine sf#be se sele busy seng founela....ko healer byang Lolly mpotse ( how am I gonna heal....how am I gonna heal Lorraine when that b#tch is busy calling me....how am I gonna heal Lolly tell me)
***Lorraine stood there not knowing what to say or do***
Jabu: she killed my daughter Lolly...my only daughter....na e sale ncosi Lolly but o bodile botlhoko....botlhoko Lolly ( she was still a baby and she died a painful death...a painful death Lolly)
***she rushed to him as her own tears betrayed her and she hugged him and he held on to her tight breaking down crying***
----------
AFTER SOME TIME
Jabu: I need to lie down a bit
Lolly: ok lets go you’ll sleep in the bedroom
***they went to the bedroom and she looked at him surprised when he took off his clothes and remained with only his briefs then he sat at the edge of the bed***
Jabu: don’t you have painkillers for this headache im having le sleeping pillsnyana
Lolly: ummm let me go get them
***she walked out and soon came back with a glass of water and gave him the pills and the glass***
Jabu: Thaa ( thanks)
***he drank the pills and she took the now empty glass and put it away and he laid down on the bed facing the ceiling....her eyes went to his d#ck print and she swallowed hard and looked away quickly***
Lolly: will you be ok
Jabu: yeah let me shut eye for a bit and I’ll fine
Lolly: ok
***she took the glass and walked out***
FOUR HOURS LATER
***Lorraine is watching TV eating snacks and also reading her favourite novel on Facebook***
Jabu: come and sleep its late
***Jabu’s sleepy voice startles her***
Lolly: eish Jabu you scared me
Jabu: askies tla o tlo robala ( sorry come and sleep)
***she cleared her throat***
Lolly: its ok I’ll sleep here on the couch
***he walked further in and took the remote and switched off the TV then went to check if the door is locked and took the glass and bowl of snacks she was feasting on and he took them to the kitchen and he switched off the lights***
Lolly: Jabu...
Jabu: lets go
***he said helping her up and she sighed as she followed him to the bedroom....she got in and took off her gown as he got undercovers***
Jabu: what
Lolly: nothing....
Jabu: ok then tla o robale ( ok then come and sleep)
***Lolly sighed***
Lolly: you do know its inappropriate right....you still married and I have a boyfriend
Jabu: and I don’t care...come to bed tuu
***he said opening the covers on her side yawning and she slowly went to the bed and got in and Jabu fixed the covers for her...he pulled her closer and she rested her head on his chest and he held her tight and closed his eyes***
Jabu: don’t over think it...we are not f#cking were just sharing a bed
***she sighed and relaxed a bit***
Lolly: im still angry at you
Jabu: mmmmh I know
***he said with a sexy sleepy voice***
Lolly: and im not ready to forgive you
Jabu: I know and I wont give up until you do
Lolly: you hurt me Jabu
***he kissed the top of her head***
Jabu: im sorry and im gonna be sorry for the rest of our lives
***she swallowed hard***
Jabu: and please don’t be too angry at me....Sbu and I need you
***she cleared her throat and kept quiet....”what the hell am I doing” she thought***
Jabu: good night
***he said with a tired and sleepy voice***
----------
TAREK
***Im busy hitting it from behind sp#nking her jelly b#tt as Im drilling in her deeper...she moans out loud holding tight to the bed sheets while I groan....I must say her p#ssy is sweet or is it because she’s pregnant, anyway i continued to go in and out of her groaning enjoying myself when my phone rang....i just took a peek on the screen still f#ck#ng her from behind with sweat all over me and when I saw who the caller is my heart nearly stopped beating....i don’t even know when I pulled out of Samke and rushed to my phone but I did....i quickly answered it trying to control my breathing***
Me: stha...sthandwa sam...baby is that you
***I can feel Samke’s eyes on me and im sure she’s livid by now mxm tsek!!***
Hills: yes wena le mar#t# a mannyane
***then she giggled...what the....***
Me: Shalate are you....are you high
Hills: I just...i just wanted to tell you that im divorcing you and that I’ve just realized gore I’ve been missing out...i got f#cked by a man with a huge d#ck and I must say im a happy woman...he gave it to me good and he made my toes curl
***then she giggled again and I felt my heart shutter to pieces***
Hills: damn this sh#t is good
Me: Shalate don’t play like this ok...please hurt me any how you want but not like this
Hills: who said im playing....banna ba ja kuku ka montle ka mo ka di bazooka wena o busy o cheata ka ntswitswi eo ( men are busy eating the cookie out there with bazookas and you’re busy cheating with a small d#ck)... so you can give that average d#ck of yours to your baby mama cause nna I’ve got myself a new bazooka and he’s loaded and handsome too....thank you for cheating skat
***then she laughed and dropped the call and I looked at my phone with my hands shaking and my heart beating at an abnormal rate....f#ck I think im gonna have a heart attack***
Samke: are you ok
***I just shook my head and slowly sat down with my hand on my chest***
Samke: Tarek...
***I hope she’s playing with me....i hope what she said is not true...no she cant...she loves me, she wont do that to me***
Smake: ooh my Gosh im calling an ambulance ok hold on...
----------
NARRATED
***Meanwhile ausVee and Hills are busy laughing their b#tts off***
Vee: yho Shalate you got him good
***Hills continued to laugh until she chocked on her own saliva and she coughed uncontrollably until she stopped then she took another puff and released and continued to laugh which made ausVee to join her and they laughed their b#tts off***
----------
TO BE CONTINUED....
#TO-DARE-IS-TO-DO
