·˚ ༘· First Person POV ·˚ ༘· ! SCARAMOUCHE ! ──────────────────
" But someday, I'll be livin' in a big old city And all you're ever gonna be is mean. "
── Mean ; Taylor Swift
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People would call me as The Bad Student or any negative titles and spread false information about me for their own giggles. Well I'm literally quite the opposite of that. I either get a single mistake or a perfect score in any types of quizzes, pass my requirements on time, and I'm also active in recitation. But I often ask myself late at night, why am I pushing myself to achieve those scores? Why am I so motivated?
One answer, I got used to studying my ass off until my vision starts to blur then pass out due to exhaustion.
Since when I was a child, I'd always try to impress my biological mother by getting high marks and be the perfect child she ever wanted. But it seems like she never recognised my efforts. So I stayed up until midnight to do better, I didn't even step outside my room during summer break because I was studying. I missed a lot of important events because I was studying. Even my own birthday. I did not receive a single happy birthday in my whole entire life.
Even if I tried to gain knowledge about politics, learn about the Kujou Clan because I knew I'll take over my mother's place. She didn't spare me a single glance nor encourage me to keep going.
Only me, myself, and I.
The day my mother finally recognised my efforts eventually came, but, it was stolen from me by my younger sister. A little girl who knows nothing but shapes, abc's and shits everywhere. I couldn't believe it, she gave her full attention to a stupid child. She resembled our mother, so much, that I started to hate her since the day she came to life.
My mother also explained something to me before my sister was born, and it goes like, "If your baby sister fails to oversee Inazuma after my retirement, you'll replace her, go it?"
Bullshit. She created her and I so that someone can replace her? This is so messed up.
As I grew older, I found out I was made to be The practice child so that my mother can take care of the next one. Ridiculous, I know right? Not only that, I started to question my worth, my existence, my mother's love.
Whenever she tried to bond with me, I find it weird of her and thought she's bored and my sister is busy. She usually calls me to cook food or ask what am I doing, which I find annoying sometimes. That old hag started to forget about my existence ever since a tall pink haired lady who looks like a fox came. When I try to show off my achievements one last time, it seemed like I was just a ghost to them. I had enough then quietly moved out and here I am, alive.
