My Future Stepmother

Chapter 49

Julia had some nice pictures of Grace in her cell phone, Julia was looking at them and thinking about the foolish way that she lost Grace; she was so stupid, they could've been together right now if it wasn't for her stupidity.  How could this happen?  How could she let it happen?  She had to think in a way to gain Grace back.  Yes, she would do it, she would gain her back, she wasn't going to give up now, she had to fight for her, fight for the woman she loved, she couldn't be weak now, this wasn't the moment to be weak and cry, this was the moment to fight.

She really didn't do something wrong, it was true that she almost had sex with her ex, yes, but she really didn't, and that was the important thing there, that she really didn't do anything.

And at that moment, when that almost happened, Grace wasn't even her girlfriend, so she was practically a free woman, right?  Free to do whatever she wanted.  Grace was really being so hard on her, for just a little mistake, it was just a tiny mistake.

Grace really didn't want to understand, but she would made her see the true there, she would help Grace to see the true, because she was innocent!  That was just a bad moment, a moment of weakness and confussion, right?  People is allow to have those moments in life.  She was just human, we all are, we aren't perfect, we made mistakes, we all made mistakes, so why she had to pay for a stupid mistake?  It could've happen to anyone, anyone, including Grace... right?  But it happened to her.  No, no, no, Grace would've never do such a thing, Grace was different, Grace was so in love with her...  That was one of the things that she loved about Grace, Grace was so honest, so sincere...  Well, she was in love with Grace too, but how could she be so foolish and let Victoria to take her to her room that evening?  How could she let Victoria kiss her?  Why she let her do that!?

Julia thought and thought, and she got to the conclussion that she wasn't good enough for Grace, that she wasn't so good as maybe she thought she was after all.

Was it that she was feeling lonely?  Was it that she missed Victoria and what they had when they were a couple?  After all, Victoria and her had more things in common than Grace and her, but that wasn't even a good excuse for what she did, there was no excuse for what she did.  What she did was wrong, but if it was so wrong why she didn't give it the importance it had?

No one could understand her, no one, not even Grace.  Her head it was beginning to hurt for all the thinking.  And she couldn't find the reason why she acted that way, it was so frustrating.

She thought about her life.  After all, we are just the result of our parents' upbringing.  She didn't want to blame her parents for what she did of course.  That was only her fault and no one else's.  She was weak, she was weaker than she thought.

Oh, her parents were always so strict with all of them, even with Amy.  They were impossible to please.  Julia was the bisexual of the family, the daughter with the wrong sexual orientation, and they weren't very proud of her of course, but all the contrary, she was a failure; Amy the daughter with a disability, the daughter that had to be hide in secret, just another daughter that wasn't perfect as they expected; and Michael, he was the perfect son.  Finally, not bad, one of three, just one of them was perfect, as perfect as their parents, the son that made them proud, the good son.

Michael really was a good person, not just a good son or a good brother.  He really had a nice heart, and he loved his family, and he was good with all of them.  The perfect gentleman, the perfect man...

Why couldn't her parents accept them just the way they were?  There was maybe too much rejection in her life, more than she could deal with right now.  That was why she had a problem in her relationships, yes, maybe that was the reason.

She was a mess herself, but maybe all that mess could be fixed, she would find a way to be a better woman.  A woman that Grace would accept, and a woman that she would be proud of.  She would work in that.  She was now a work in progress.  She wasn't perfect now, but one they she would be.