Living for the fat girl [Book 2]

Part 13

I'm back! Finals are over and so is my little break! Weekly updates are coming!

13. Arya

„Fuck off." The harsh words echo in my ears and the pain they cause is clear in Seth's eyes.

I can't handle this any more! I have to get away from him!

I turn around as quickly as I can, grab my things and star walking off. I can feel tears forming in my eyes and I have to shut them for a few seconds in order to regain control. My face is flushed from frustration and anger. This morning I had been so determined to make a change but now all I want to do is leave this place!

I look at the group of people behind me once more, feeling their eyes burn holes into my back. The last thing I want is to give them the show they crave so much but that's exactly what I just did. I just made their boring little lives a bit more interesting by giving them a glimpse of my own messed up situation.

Seth steps away from the group and comes jogging towards me. My heart races. Something tightens in my chest and the tears, I have been trying to hold back, fall freely from my eyes. When Seth reaches me and I don't stop walking, our eyes meet for a short moment but he says nothing. Instead he walks beside me wordlessly right until we reach my room. Almost as if on autopilot, I unlock my door and let him enter behind me. When I turn to look at him multiple images of us happily together in this very room flash in front of my eyes and it feels like an eternity ago. I just feel extremely detached from him. As though he is a past memory. A faded picture in the back of my mind.

"So this is why you never answer any of my calls." Seth finally says, picking up my turned off phone from the bedside table.

"Yeah, I turned it off." I mutter, immediately feeling stupid about having said it.

He looks at me, one eyebrow raised. As I lower my gaze, avoiding eye-contact, Seth sits down on my bed. He hunches over, rubbing his face with both hands before looking back up at me. I chew on my bottom lip.

This is awkward. There is really no point in him being here. Especially after what was just said. There is no going back from that and I need him to know that. No matter how much it hurts me, no matter how badly my heart is aching, I have to let him know how important this is to me.

"I'm not going to back down." I say stubbornly.

"I know." Seth replies to my surprise but he's shaking his head. "And you shouldn't."

"But you still think what I did was wrong. You don't think I should have contacted the authorities, do you?" I join him on the bed, making sure there's enough space between us. My body craves being close to him and so does my heart but my mind has control right now.

"I think there are other ways to go about this... Ways that don't put my future in jeopardy." Seth runs a hand through his hair before rubbing his neck. All signs of his discomfort. I hadn't really thought about my actions jeopardizing Seth's future... I just want this ritual of torturing new students to stop!

"And how do you think I should have gone about it?" I ask, genuinely wanting his input, trying to ease the tension and calm myself down.

"For starters, you could have come talk to me." I scoff at that, earning myself a glare. "I know what I did was fucked up but I apologized and you should know by now that - no matter what - you can come talk to me. We'll put everything else aside and come up with a solution to whatever the problem is. Instead you decide to fight this battle on your own and make me look like I'm one of the bad guys." Now it's my turn to lift my brow at him. "I'm not a bad guy."