luke, ashton, and i walked to mom's room. i was scared. i didn't want her to hate me.
we walked in and mom was on her phone again.
"hey baby." she smiled softly.
"hi mom." i spoke nervously.
"what's going on?" she asked as she looked behind me to see ashton and luke standing there.
"i- "wait, i want you two out. i would like to hear this from just my daughter." mom interrupted me to say to luke and ashton.
"bu- "no buts." mom spoke firmly as she pointed towards the door.
i watched them leave and shut the door slowly before going to sit down across from the bed.
"speak?" mom spoke softly.
"i-i used to self harm." i mumbled.
"you what? you told me you didn't do that shit? indigo, if you were struggling that bad you could've come to me." mom stressed as she sat up right.
"i needed a way to cope that wasn't relying on my mother who was stuck in bed 90% of the time." i spoke softly.
"so cutting was all for attention? that's disgusting indigo." mom spit out.
"i never fucking said that. you're putting words into my mouth." i spoke firmly as i stood up.
"show me them right now. i'm going to take pictures to remind you everyday to not do that shit." mom spoke as she grabbed her phone.
"no." i mumbled.
"was i asking?" mom spoke angrily.
i slowly lifted up my shirt and revealed deep scars across my stomach. mom took a picture and scoffed.
"this mental health shit is all for attention isn't it? don't get me wrong, i love and care about you baby, but you can't do this for attention. it makes you seem bad." mom spoke softly.
"i never said it was for attention, you just assumed that." i pointed out.
"mother knows best. mother is always right. just please don't do it anymore okay?" mom spoke as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers.
i nodded stiffly.
"i'm going to sleep now. feel free to stay or leave and don't let those boys, including my ex husband, back in here." mom sighed as she turned away from me.
i left the room with tears about to fall down my face. was i really that much of a fuck up to her?
i saw luke sitting on the bench as i left the room and he quickly walked up to me.
"what happened? are you okay?" he asked softly.
i couldn't tell him. he would hate her and possibly not treat her well.
"nothing. she just told me not to do it anymore." i lied as i avoided his eye contact.
"are you sure?" luke asked softly.
"yep." i replied shortly as he guided me back to calum's office.
"why are we back here?" i sighed.
"he needs to finish the physical love. i'll be talking with your mother tomorrow about therapy sessions with ash okay? you'll be okay." luke smiled softly as he walked off.
i walked into the office and saw calum sitting there.
"sorry for dropping that on you." i whispered as i sat up on the bed.
"don't apologize. thank you for telling me." calum spoke softly as he motioned for me to lean back.
"i still don't want you to look at them." i spoke as i leaned back slowly, keeping my arms around my stomach.
"i won't even look at them. i just have to make sure you don't feel any pain." calum spoke softly.
i nodded and slowly lifted my shirt.
he said he wasn't going to look, but i still heard the sharp intake of breath as he examined my stomach.
after a few moments, he was done and i sat up quickly.
"am i good to go?" i asked.
"well, you were my last patient. i am about to head down to the car to meet the boys once i finish putting everything away. you can wait with me if you want?" calum offered.
i nodded and sat down as he finished cleaning up. we walked together down to the car where we met the rest of the boys and drove home.
as soon as we arrived, i ran upstairs to see midnight and saw him sleeping on my bed.
"today was a rough day love." i sighed as i pulled him in for a hug.
i heard a soft knock on my door and looked to see ashton.
"you really didn't expect me to believe that she just said what you told luke she said. i was in the room with her when you tried to tell her about your thoughts." ashton pointed out as he leaned against the doorframe.
"she took pictures." i mumbled.
"excuse me?" ashton spoke looking completely shocked at what he was hearing.
"she took pictures to show me that i should never do it again."
