THALIA

69. Forever

• THALIA •

I don't bother saying anything or try explain myself.

I rush over to the wall of tall men and immediate throw myself into Richard Fords chest.

I'm home

"I'm so so so sorry,"I try keep my composure but it's one hell of a struggle.

"Don't be sorry, Sweetheart."

I feel safe and protected and loved in his arms.

We release each other and I wrap my arms around Gio's neck and almost squeeze him to death. "I love you Gio, you know that?"

"Love you to, baby T." I can hear the smile in his voice.

Once I'm done almost suffocating the poor man, I go a hug Dom. "You can tell me how much you hate hugs all you want, big man, but I know your a secret lover."

He pulls me in closer to his chest, "i love your hugs."

My heart melts. Dom's never been - or appeared to be - the affectionate type, so his words mean a lot.

Dom releases me from his strong grip and then i almost tackle Nik, Axel and Ben to the the floor. We have a little group hug, our heads touching in the middle. "Thanks, guys." I don't specify what I'm thanking them for, I don't even know myself, but I think they deserve it.

We let go of our embrace and I hug Bennu. He puts his hand on the top of my head, "hey, baby T. You've been missed."

I smile into his chest, "missed you too."

We let go of each other and I spot a beautiful brunette. I run up to Nadine, being slightly careful because she has very high heels on and I wrap my arms around her neck. "Fuck, I missed you so much." I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I was worried fucking sick." Nadine tells me like a Mother.

We let go and I spin around, spotting an awkward looking Matteo with his hands shoved in the front pockets of his basketball shorts.

I walk over to him, grab onto his shoulders and pull myself into him before shaking my arms round his neck. We don't share any words because we don't need to.

I need to talk to him later, I can sense there's something wrong.

We let each other go and I take a second to enjoy the smiles on everyone's faces. It absolutely makes my day. My year. My whole life.

But then the air goes strained.

I don't miss the looks on the boys' faces.

"What's wrong?" I ask, hesitantly.

"We need to talk, sweetheart."

Fuck

———————————————————————

I choke on nothing.

"What?!"

My eyes shoot to an uncomfortable looking Matteo. "It's true, but..."

Matteo nods his head stiffly, "yeah I - well - it's true, yeah."

Tears fight to fall and I don't bother try stopping them.

My body shakes with silent sobs.

Oh my god

I could've had all this.

I could've been happy.

I could've been loved.

I could've been protected.

Someone puts their loving arms around me. "Im sorry, I failed you."

I tilt my head up to meet Rich - my Dads - blue eyes.

"Is it alright if I call you Dad...?"

"Of course , daughter." A smile tugs at my Dads lips.

Never gonna get used to that

Matteo then goes into a full depth explanation of the day I left.

He tells me he lied.
That he was threatened.
He was scared.
Alone.
Hurting.
Carrying so much weight on his shoulders.

I stand up off the sofa and bolt into his arms. "I understand."

When we pull away my heart skips a beat. Now it's my turn to be truthful.

"Actually... I haven't been 100% honest either..."

No one says anything. Everyone just watches me with furrowed brows, confusion etched on their faces.

"Um... actually I was threatened too. By Esmerelda. Said she would imprison you guys if I stayed around. She also had fake footage of me stabbing her. I couldn't risk your safety. I couldn't. Im sorry."

Matteo pulls me back into his embrace.

The broken look in his eyes has disappeared.

He's been beating himself up when after all this time, we both lied. If he told me we were related, I still would've left. And I'll make sure to tell him he did nothing wrong for as long as I live.

"So, what did you do whilst you were gone?"

Memories of what happened come rushing back.

Jimmy
The club
The old man
The cafe

"Um, well ..." I tell the whole story. Leaving no gaps. I tell them the worst parts of it - the club - and the best bits of it - Warren. The shimmer of guilt in Matteo's eyes has returned. I want to get rid of it.

"Matteo," I warn. "Don't. Balme. Yourself. I would've left anyway."

"Son, please don't blame yourself. That son of a bitch Esmerelda is the one at fault."

Esmerelda - that name will haunt me for as long as I live. The only thing I can do is make new memories. New friends. To try and soften the pain that lives within me.

"How much time is she getting?" I ask nobody in particular.

"Only a year. There's hardly enough evidence." Dad states.

"...what if there were more?"

The cogs turn in my brain and I can tell the same thoughts go through everybody's hair.

Me - I'm evidence. I have scars to prove it. And stashed journal entries underneath the floorboards.

"You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with." Dad tells me.

"It's gonna be hard. But I have all of you." I state, nodding to confirm that I'll be alright.

"Forever."

I smile, "forever."