+ Spooky Month Oneshots! +

+ Wine? No, wine for cats. | Candy Dealer x Female!Reader +

I feel like the themes for these oneshots are getting more and more wild as time goes on...

Requested by JewelToohey

This guy is kind of hard to write for, god damn!

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^^Never drink alone again, because now there's wine for cats!^^ An ad on your TV began, and you sat on your couch, shocked. ^^Now at malls near you!^^ The ad turned off, and you fell off the couch.

^^HOLY SHIT I NEED TO GET THAT FOR MUFFINS.^^ You screamed, standing up and scrambling to grab a coat and some shoes. You had always loved your cat more than anything else, and now that it could be combined with wine? Life couldn't get fucking better!

The coat you grabbed was about 5 sizes too big, and dragging behind you, but you couldn't care less. Honestly, you weren't sure why you had the damn thing, but you did. It worked, though, so honestly you couldn't be bothered to sell it.

You quickly began to walk to the mall, making sure to shut the front door behind you. You didn't want Muffins getting out. This was a new start for humanity! WINE FOR CATS!

You were so lost in thought, you didn't realize there was somebody in front of you. You ran directly into them.

^^Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't-^^ You froze when you looked up, The man was towering above you, and looked suspicious as hell. You were terrified. So this is how you die? It couldn't have been any other way? God damn, you were really unlucky.

^^Don't look at me like that, please. I won't hurt you, I swear. Just a candy dealer.^^ He spoke before you had the chance to scream or do anything. You paused. A candy dealer? Seriously? Like that didn't sound suspicious at all. 

^^A candy dealer? Do you mean drug dealer? I mean, you really don't need to hide it. Kinda obvious with how you dress.^^ You hissed, and he sighed.

^^Listen lady, I'm not here to argue with you over if I'm a drug dealer or a candy dealer. I'm not energized enough to deal with this, please...^^ He asked, and you quickly ran off. The guy was strange, and you weren't sure if you liked that. Yet at the same time, it was interesting? You weren't sure why, but you wanted to get to know him better, but that was probably a horrible idea. He could get you addicted to cocaine or something.

---

You walked out of the mall, satisfied. You had gotten the cat wine and a lot more for Muffins. You were going to head straight home, but you noticed the candy dealer guy in the parking lot. You looked at him for a moment. Now would probably be your only chance to get to know him better, and you should take it.

You ran up to him, and tugged his coat. The man had his back facing to you, and was too tall to tap on the shoulder. He turned around, and let out a sigh when he saw you.

^^Oh god, not this again- No, I am not a drug dealer lady!^^ He announced rather loudly, and you face palmed.

^^If I thought you were a drug dealer, I don't think I would have initiated this conversation. Do you seriously think I'm that stupid? I just wanna talk to you!^^ You told him, and he seemed fairly surprised. Normally, people would just run away from him if he tried to do anything more than go near them.

^^Fine then, what do you want to talk about? Because my opinions on you are rather divided right now after that interaction earlier.^^ He sternly said, and you took a breath in through your teeth.

^^Yeah, I guess I was kind of a jerk.. sorry about it.^^ You apologized, but looked back up at him. ^^I just want to talk to you, though! Nothing bad, I swear.^^ You insisted, and he directed his gaze towards the bag you were holding.

^^What'd you buy?^^ He inquired, and you scratched the back of your head. It was kind of awkward to explain, now that you think about it.

^^Wine!^^ You said, not exactly thinking about what you were saying.

^^Wine?^^ He asked, and you frowned. God, this was going to be embarrassing.

^^No, wine for cats.^^ You told him, and he began to laugh a lot.

^^Seriously? I didn't expect that people would actually buy that when I saw the ad originally!^^ He laughed, and you turned a shade of pink. This really was embarrassing, you hadn't fully thought this through.

He noticed your embarrassment, and he stopped laughing rather quickly. He let out a hum.

^^Sorry, didn't mean to make you embarrassed..^^ He apologized, and you looked at him.

^^It's fine! I just hadn't fully thought it through when I bought it, I just wanted to drink with Muffins.^^ You muttered, and he paused.

^^Muffins! How cute. I thought that only people in shows named animals things like that.^^ He purred, and you smiled.

^^I guess so, yeah. But you like animals? I'm sorry, but you didn't seem like the type!^^ You told him, and he nodded.

^^A lot of people think that I'm heartless, but I assure you I'm not.^^ He replied, and turned back around. You stood next to him, and clutched your bag tighter.

^^You should probably be heading home soon, it gets wacky out here at night.^^ He told you, and you nodded. You knew that for a fact. Night here seemed more like you were entering the Twilight Zone than staying in reality. 

^^I wanna stay in touch with you, though.^^ You pleaded with him, and he nodded.

^^Well, I'm here everyday, so that shouldn't be so hard.^^ He told you, and you gave him a warm smile.

You began to walk off, but turned around to face him for a moment. You gave him a quick wave, and he waved back before quickly turning around to face the kids behind him. They were strange, dressed in a skeleton costume and a pumpkin costume. It wasn't even October yet, so you couldn't understand that, but at this point it was better not to question these sort of things.

---

Once you got home, you quickly opened the front door. Muffins ran up to you and began to meow like crazy, she had missed you.

^^I know you missed Mommy, I know! But Mommy made a friend today, so it's alright! Plus, Mommy got you a treat!~^^ You playfully talked to her, pulling out the bottle of cat wine.

She sniffed it, before starting to lick it, desperately trying to get the bottle open. You couldn't help but chuckle at this.

^^Alright alright, let Mommy get hers first though, alright?^^ You told her, and headed into the kitchen. Time to get wine drunk!

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I honestly had a lot of fun writing this, mostly because the prompt that I gave myself was funny to me.

By the way, wine for cats does actually exist.

Word count: 1144