Don't Let Go (A Student/Teacher Relationship)

Don't Let Go - Part Thirty One

              “Riley, look at me” Jeremy said quietly. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head and swallowed heavily, turning slowly and meeting his eyes directly.

“What do you want Jeremy? Time’s a-ticking” I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for him to form his words.

“I’m so sorry Riley; I don’t know what to say” He began and I rolled my eyes.

“You could start by telling me the truth.” I suggested harshly, my voice icy and stiff.

“I am Riley, I really am sorry. Laura means absolutely nothing to me Riley, you have to believe that” He grabbed my hands but I tore them out of his. The warmth that had once washed over my skin was gone now, only to be replaced by a cold tingle that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My heart was racing, but it wasn’t from excitement or anticipation as it usually was, it was pure fear that made my hands tremble and my palms sweat.

“She means so little that you were willing to ruin what we have. Oh, actually, you did that before Laura, didn’t you?” I narrowed my eyes at him viciously and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?” He asked and I rolled my eyes, refolding my arms across my chest.

“Why the hell would you get a job here when you know I can’t have a relationship with a teacher? It’s forbidden Jeremy, its illegal! Worse than that though, you didn’t even warn me. Do you know how I felt when I walked into that classroom this morning expecting Mr Tanner, and then I heard you talking? You! The guy I’ve been kissing and hugging and holding hands with; the guy that I really liked. How could you do that to me?” My voice ranged from high and tight, to quiet and unforgiving throughout my speech, but at least Jeremy had the decency to look ashamed.

“I didn’t tell you Riley, because I was so damn scared. I was so afraid that you’d tell me it was over, that you’d not want anything to do with me. I hoped that I wouldn’t teach you and that you wouldn’t know until it didn’t matter any more. I love you Riley, I didn’t tell you because I was afraid to lose you” He grabbed my hands again and pulled me close to him, his face just inches from mine, looking directly into my eyes. “I love you Riley” He whispered. And the worst part was that he actually thought I might believe him.

“Jeremy” I stretched out his name wearily, all anger draining slowly from my body to be replaced with lethargy. “I’m not going to say it back, you cheated on me, and now you’re claiming you love me. What are you doing? Trying to give me whiplash with all the back and forth? I can’t trust you Jeremy, you cheated on me, and then you hit me. It’s over. Don’t lie to me any more, okay? Just leave me alone” I brushed past him, ripping my hands away from his and going to open the door again.

“Please Ry, give me another chance?” He practically pleaded, and I couldn’t help but turn back to face him.

“Give me some time Jeremy. I’m not giving you another chance as my boyfriend, you made that into a right royal mess, but I don’t want to lose you, and I have to see you every day – not to mention you live with my best friend. I can’t trust you anymore, but maybe you can gain it back over time. We’ve had some good times, and I know I’ll miss you.”

“If you’ll miss me, then why can’t you give me another try? I promise I’ll never do that again.”

“The thing is Jeremy, sweetheart, I didn’t believe that you would do it in the first place. I don’t know how I could believe it a second time. I don’t forgive you, but I’ll try, okay? It’s the best I can do.”

“Okay, I guess I deserve this” His shoulders slumped and I sighed. My heart tightened in my chest and I wrapped my arms around him gently.

“I promise I’ll try” I whispered, before letting go of him and turning back into Mr. Evans’ classroom.

                “That was a damn long day” I sighed heavily, kicking the door closed behind me and throwing my bag on the floor in the hallway. It was so nice being alone, especially after the crazy emotional day I’d had. I wanted a shower, and maybe I’d go for a run or something. I headed into the living room, pushing that door closed too. There was something odd about the house today, but I couldn’t work out what it was. I knew that none of the kids were home; they were staying at Aunt Janice’s house. So why were there noises coming from the kitchen?

I kicked my shoes off carefully, listening hard to the running of the taps in the kitchen, the boiling of the kettle.

“Hello?” I called out tentatively. All noises ceased. I took in a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I growled angrily, taking in the leather-jacket-and-jean-clad man in from of me.  Dad looked down at me, a smile on his face that sent chills down my spine.

“I just wanted to come and see my daughter” He said gently, but there was an edge to his voice. And it scared me to pieces.

“Yeah, well I don’t know if I can take you ‘coming to see me’ again? I’ve had enough violence for one day. So get the hell out of my house, you filthy lying bastard.” I shouted, my back pressing against the doorframe as he stepped closer to me.

“Oh contraire my little dumpling, I think that this is my house. And you can’t kick me out.” He chuckled, stepping closer yet again.

“Then I’m leaving. I refuse to stay here with you” I hissed, turning on my heel and leaving the kitchen. I didn’t get very far though, because a hand grabbed my arm tight and I was spun back around to face him. If I had been afraid of Jeremy earlier; that was nothing to how I felt faced with the man who claimed to be my father now.