the Ring{stuck in twilight}

depression moon

I laid down all night crying silently. My New moon entered a night before Bella's. The problem is, I can't even throw a fit about it. I have no right. I don't belong with them even when they are here.

I woke up with puffy eyes, taking my time with getting ready as it will be the last time I'll see them. Maybe I'll hallucinate too but that's up to the author.

Bella and I drove to the school both silent and awkward. I couldn't stand seeing her happy for the last time in the next few months. She deserves better than this.

The cullens were a no show. I spent my day planning whether or not go there and scream at them to get their depressed kid in check. But with what right? Who am I to them even? I was just a human who got tangled up in this involuntarily. They feel bad for me that I was attacked and nothing more.

They will forget about me faster. Worry about me less. Because I am simply a privileged human who can actually move on.

When Bella parked the truck and helped me like usual. I chose crutches today despite her argument. She looked up seeing Edward looking like a ghost already. My heart sank. I knew this will happen but I can't do anything about it. This Era is important for both of them. Character fucking development. I feel like a useless guardian angel, I know what will happen but I can't stop it.

My legs got crushed when I tried the last time.
Bella looked back at me and I nodded " I'll go inside, don't be late " I said looking at him

' please don't be an asshole' is all I could say to Edward in my mind. He made eye contact with me looking even more dead. He gave me a hard look and looked away.

I helped myself inside the house feeling like crying too. How is this already depressing? Maybe because I know about it all.

I sat in the couch zoned out looking out the TV but not seeing it. My eyes couldn't cry anymore and I'm just waiting for my dad to come home and launch a search party.

And the search party was launched an hour after my dad couldn't reach Bella through the phone nor tye cullens. I told him that she walked in the forest with Edward making my old man looks angry and scared at the same time. You never know what really happens with the other characters when it's narrated with one. I've got to live through that.

I sat next to my dad who called everyone. Jacob and Embry were first to come and my father's friends and anyone with knowledge of how to search for a person got to work.

It really looked ominous and scary even if I know she'll be safe. I couldn't brush the anxiety that's sinking my heart down.

" we found her!" Came a gruff voice half naked and holding Bella like a baby.
She looked so cold and pale. She looked inches away from death and it scared me to death. ' how could I let this happen!' I screamed at myself as my father ran to get her inside .

" hey, she's okay. They found her " Embry soothed me. I didn't even realize I was fully sobbing at this point.
I hugged him clinging to his warm body as I cried from relief.
" thank you " I spoke to Sam through hiccups. The werewolf nodded to me looking wary and looked down to my injured leg with a knowing glance that looked weird. Like he is perplexed whether or not he should feel sorry for me or disgusted.
I just looked away hoping I'd have the heart and will to survive the new moon.

A/N: I PROMISE ILL BE FASTER