friendly therapy

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The new moon sadness didn't affect me as much. It's all because of Emmett of course. We became fast buddies the moment we started playing together. He is very competitive and I used my ballet competitiveness in video games. We started with Blood Ryne as a joke then kept buying more aggressive games and playing for hours till I pass out asleep. Rosalie didn't visit me. I haven't seen her since the accident. I thought it was because she hates me, now that I know about them and Emmett spends his time mostly playing with me, but I haven't asked.

" Are you sure you don't want to  go to the dance ?" Bella asked me for the millionth time, feeling guilty that she was going and I'm not. I however don't care about the dance. 

I developed this weird uninterest in nothing. Mundane human things meant nothing now that I 'know' about vampires. Even though I know about the entire twilight since the beginning! 

" I'm fine! Plus Jena is coming over for my Physio " I reminded her gently that my injury is worst than hers hence why I can't go anywhere for another month.

She looked down with a little pout " Honestly, I'll have more fun than you just by playing video games and eating pizza" I exclaimed 

she sat down next to me, inches away from falling on my leg and breaking it again but she steadied herself with her hands.

" Do you still get nightmares, We heard you scream yesterday " her chocolate brown eyes looked so sad it made me want to cry 

" we?" I raised an eyebrow and she blushed knowing  she slipped 

" Charlie?" I rolled my eyes 

" ya know, you have to practice lying perfectly so you can protect their secret ... you're a terrible liar " 

she huffed " Edward and I... He told me, you dream of the ... accident almost every night. Rosalie studied Psychology twice, He'll try to persuade her to help you if you'd like?" I blinked, lost my will to tease her about Edward spending the night with her.

" Bella, It's normal I don't have PTSD" I lied. I do. I can't stand being alone or dancing. I can't stand thinking about how James and victoria snatched me from my room without Rosalie or Esme detecting it. 

the anomalies of that happening make me think of it when I get time to listen, to my thoughts. and it only triggers a panic attack.

that's why I'm so thankful for Emmett and his way of distracting me. His energy is so chill It makes me feel relaxed. 

Charlie's police car engine started to be audible and Bella looked at me exasperatedly " this conversation hasn't ended ... I'll just go get ready" I nodded already hearing Alice greeting my dad in our driveway.

+++++
" you look beautiful " I gushed smiling proudly at my twin sister. The movies or the books did nothing to describe her calm beauty.
She blushed and shrugged
" Edward too" I looked at him half angry for snitching my dreams to my very concerned sister.
But I guess I should get used to no privacy, I'm just thankful not all my thoughts appear to him. Because I don't know how to explain that.

Bella and Edward went out and Jena came to help me move my body so I won't have a hard time healing and walking.

Jena is a middle-aged woman with two kids. She comes two times a week to move me and talk about her family, gossip, and whatever busied her mind that day. I frankly enjoyed it.

When she left Dad stayed with me for a bit, both watching tonight's game.
He didn't talk about it since Carlisle explained it to him. He did not pry, he was just glad his girls are alive.

Emmett went hunting tonight so no gaming buddy.
But before I get to feel bummed Charlie opened the door to two muscular teens with big smiles.
" Em, Quillll what are you doing here! " I was so shocked that they came all the way here knowing that they don't have a car.

" we here to entertain the injured " Embry smiled
" oh no! Someone's already signed your cast " he pouted like it's the most important thing

" aight kids don't stay up too late " dad advised before going to bed

" a sleepover! Awesome!!!!!" I squealed happily
" the best sleepover ya gonna get" Quill boosted.

He was right! We spend the night talking and playing. The guys loved the underworld game, I just smirked knowingly as they fought to get to play with me then fought to win when they played together.

It was awesome

" what are you gonna do now?" Embry asked me half sleepy half sugar crashed

I shrugged both curled up around my couch.
" probably not go after my sister when she's being a teen runaway?" He looked at me intensely seeing beyond my jokes

" It must've really hurt " He voiced.
I looked at him and my eyes started brimming with tears.
I couldn't hold them anymore.
Something about his warm concern just pushed me to tear up.

" horribly, I thought I could fix it... I thought this life will be better for me. I'd come to a new town and all will go well, but " I paused swallowing my pain.

" I'll be fine though, I have a plan B and C, and D " I reassured him.
" I know you're strong, mentally and physically... I know you can and will be fine but it's okay to be depressed about what you lost. It's okay to not always be the comedy relief" His voice sounded so smooth yet rich with emotions.

" who am I without my jokes and happy-go-lucky mask?"

" you are you, you are what you feel, what you go through. You have your own life, your own pain to go through. I see you burning yourself to give others light... You don't have to do that to accept you and love you. " I looked down seeing my tears falling on my lap.

I couldn't argue with him about the fact that it'll hurt my sister and the Cullen if they saw me depressed.
I just smiled through my tears.

" thank you besto friendo " he looked at me questionably

I rolled my eyes " anime references for when I'm overwhelmed with joy" he smiled and I hugged him .

I'll really miss this friendship after new moon.

If you don't know that reference,  it's from jujitsu kaisen xoxo

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