Left Alone To Cry.

Chapter 14: Eat, sing, kill

WARNING : This chapter contains very bad language, gore references and violence.

NIALL'S POV

I slowly open my eyelids and blink. I lift up my heavy head and my hands feel the cold surface on their soft skin. 

My vision gets clearer and I see table legs. What? 

I look down and I realize I'm lying on my kitchen floor. I frown and get on my feet. Did I really sleep there? Yes. My laptop is still turned on, the Twitcam link still opened. The memories from last night fill up my mind and I can't help but smile.

I can't believe round one is over. I can move on, the boys are closer to me. We'll be back together soon, I can feel it from head to toes.

I arch my back and massage my cheeks. It's been a long time I smiled like this, my cheek muscles aren't used to be stretched out so much.

My stomach growls. I'm so hungry. I didn't eat of the week. I didn't even see the point of eating anymore.

I thought it would increase by ten my chances to get rid of my horrible life... I take some food out of the fridge and eat it fiercely. I then walk to my bedroom.

I have to think about my second round. What could I do? Should I call them? Liam wanted me to contact them. But if I call them, I can't call them with the house's phone, because they'll be able to localize me. And from a payphone too, but it'll take longer to figure out where I am...

I stop myself in front of the mirror. My black hair is still shaved off, those weird glasses still dangling on the tip of my nose. I look down. I realize how much weight I lost. I can almost see my ribcage and my hip bones through my clothing. 

I was drowning so deeply into my depression that everything important for myself became useless. Eat, drink, move, care, love... sing.

I can see my guitar, still leaning on the wall beside my bed. I didn't touch it since I arrived here. There's dust on it. 

I stare at my guitar for a long time, unsure of what to do. I finally decide to slowly walk to it, grab it and sit on my bed.

I put it on my thigh, place my fingers on the strings and make them vibrate. 

The note rings all over the house, just like a bird singing in the morning.

Oh how I miss this... How I miss being on stage and jamming on my guitar in front of the fans. Singing to the melody with the boys, their contagious smiles shining all over the place.

That's the reason why I'm fighting. To keep the things I love the most with me; the boys and music.

My chest goes up and down with every vibration of the guitar. I usually play with it everyday, but I've been too busy crying that I forgot about my passion.

I start to rub the strings, letting the melody fill me up.

Then, it's time. I sing.