Ratneshwari

Chapter 14

Ratneshwari was sitting on a chair and eagerly waiting for her beloved.

She was nervous. Her letter was in the bedroom. She decided to give it to him after saying some cheesy lines.

After some time, she heard the sound of the bell. Shivan had arrived. She was very excited. But she controlled herself and opened the door.

Her husband was standing there. He looked tired. He was sweating profusely. It was strange. She seemed to like the smell of his sweat. She was staring at him. She completely forgot that she was supposed to let him enter the house.

Shivan was confused. He thought, "What's wrong with her? Why is she staring at me like this? She is standing like a statue. Won't she let me in?" He cleared his throat. It was only then that Ratneshwari realised what she was doing. She was too embarrassed to say anything. She moved aside and made way for him to enter the house.

Shivan went to his bedroom to freshen up. He came to the dining table. Ratneshwari served him food and smiled at him. He could smell the beautiful aroma that was coming from Ratneshwari. He realised that she had dressed up as if there was something special. He did not say anything and ate his food silently. He avoided an eye contact with her. After finishing his food, he went to the bedroom.

Ratneshwari was cleaning the dining table and the dishes. As she was doing so, she said to herself, "Now, I will go and give him the letter. Dearest Shiv! I poured my heart out into the letter." She finished the remaining chores and went to the bedroom. She opened the door to find Shivan reading her letter. She thought, "Shit!!!! He found it. I wanted to give it to him myself. I had made up so many cheesy lines in my head. How badly I wanted to say those to him! I should have hidden the letter."

She went near him. Shivan had finished reading the letter. He kept it on the table. He looked at Ratneshwari. He did not have love for her in his eyes. Ratneshwari was scared. "Why is he looking at me like this? Did I write anything wrong in the letter? Oh God!"
However, she kept all her negative thoughts aside and decided to talk to him.

"Shiv, I love you. I really love you. That's why I wrote this letter. You are ve..... "

"Ratna"

"Y.. eaa... hh? "

"You need to know something. Come, sit here."

"Ok"

"Ratna, never ever expect any love from me. I cannot love you. I love someone else. She had always been my love, she is my love and in future also, she will be the only woman who will be loved by me. We fell in love with each other when we were studying in the college.

I got this job and after that, we decided to tell our respective parents about our relationship. But unfortunately, Appa passed away. Before dying, he asked me to marry you. Amma was devastated after Appa's death. No one was able to feed her anything. She was also admitted to the hospital. With great difficulty, I controlled myself. I did not want to break down. I consoled my mother and fed her some food. Her condition was very poor. I thought that it was not the right time to talk to her about Sheetal and refuse to marry you. I didn't know how she would react. I feared for her life. I didn't want to lose her.

So, I married you. I never wanted to marry you. I don't love you and I will never ever love you.

I hope that you will understand. We will take divorce and part ways. That will happen soon. "

Shivan looked at Ratneshwari and expected her to say something. She did not say anything. She got up from her place and went to the kitchen. She sat on the kitchen floor.

She had imagined so many beautiful things. She had so many dreams for her future. But after listening to Shivan's words, she felt as if someone had shattered her dreams like a piece of broken glass. She felt betrayed. She loved him so much. How could he speak such things? She was his wife. She was alive. Then how could he love someone else? How eagerly she had waited for him that night! How could he shatter her dreams at an instant? These were the thoughts that were running in her mind.

She felt some wetness on her cheeks. Her eyes were filled with tears. Her innocent eyes could not hold any more tears and so, the tears had escaped the cage of her eyes and made her cheeks moist.

She could not stop her tears. She looked here and there. She looked at herself. She looked at the blue sari that she had worn for him. She looked at the dining table where she had served him food with love.

The scenes of her past flashed before her. She never had any friends in school and college. She did not know the reason. She wanted to have many friends but she could never make any friends. She used to see other girls with their friends. She would come home and hug a pillow and cry. She started feeling that there was something uncanny lurking near her. She believed that she did not have any friends due to the presence of some uncanny force which repelled people.

When she married Shivan she had expected him to be her best friend, a friend she never had. But that uncanny force seemed to return again. It sent Shivan away.

She walked with slow steps to the terrace. The beautiful moon was shining in the night sky. She sat down. She could hold herself no longer. She lost it. She started crying very bitterly.

She said to herself, "Why? Why is it always me who has to suffer? Why am I the only one who is lonely? Why?"
She continued to cry but there was no one who could wipe her tears.

The sailors could not control the ship. The weather was too harsh. They thought that they would die. One of sailors asked the captain, "Why is the sea so cruel? Why is the weather so harsh?" The captain said, "Young man, you are calling the sea cruel and the weather harsh. You are hearing the sound of the falling rains and the roar of the thunder. But all I can hear is a woman who is wailing like a storm." The sailor could not understand the captain's words. He (sailor) said, "What are you trying to say? How are we going to live?" The captain smiled. He (captain) said, "We are not going to live. It is the curse of an angel."