awsten knight imagines

by my side.

word count: 1103
tw: some angst, mention of suicide, language

y/s/n: your school name

god i just wanted to go home.

i couldn't stand it. it was the first day of sophomore year and i already wanted the year to end. not that staying home all the time was any better. i missed my friends. but after what happened, we had all just fallen apart.

it just wasn't the same without daisy. when she had taken her life, we all fell apart and grew away from each other. especially me. although we were all friends as a group, daisy and i were closest to each other. losing her affected me the most. it felt like a piece of me was ripped clean away.

but even after six months, i didn't recover. our friend group eventually became in tact again, just without me. a part of me understood that they'd eventually feel better, but the other part of me wondered how they could just feel better.

i was sitting at an empty lunch table listening to music when someone sat in front of me. i recognized him. he was new to our school. i took out my earbuds.

"can i sit here with you?" the purple haired boy asked me. i nodded.

"sure." i said, shoving my earbuds in my pocket. maybe he wouldn't mind being friends with me. hopefully.

"i'm awsten. what's your name?" the boy introduced himself.

"i'm y/n. it's nice to meet you, welcome to y/s/n."

"it's nice to meet you too. i didn't mean to bother you if you were busy or waiting for friends. i just needed somewhere to sit because i don't have any of my own."

"oh you're not a bother, not at all." i promised. his face looked relieved. the poor boy really did need someone to sit with. "if it makes you feel any better, i don't have any friends either anymore. we can be friends if you'd like."

"anymore?" he questioned and then his eyes widened. "wait i'm so sorry, that was invasive. but yes, i'd love to be friends!"

"don't worry, it's all okay. i'll tell you eventually. for now, would you like to listen to music with me?"

"sure, what are we listening to?"

"fall out boy." i said, handing awsten my left earbud. he smiled, taking it.

"i love fall out boy!" he replied, happily, which made me smile. that was the first time i had truly smiled since daisy. i had to admit that it felt a bit nice.

awsten and i sat next to each other while listening to fall out boy for the rest of the lunch period.

it definitely made my day a bit more bearable.

three years later

awsten and i easily became best friends. although i never forgot about daisy, it was nice to have someone to be close to again. i told awsten what happened and why i had no friends, and he comforted me and even took me to daisy's grave when i wanted to. he was there for me. all through high school and even after graduation.

the feelings i developed for him were different than with daisy. i fell in love with awsten, which i knew anyone could see coming. i just didn't know how to tell him. i didn't want to ruin our friendship, even though we had made more friends together throughout the years. he was just that important to me, i couldn't lose him too.

one night, awsten and i were laying in my backyard on a blanket while looking at the stars. we did this a lot. it was just our thing.

"i can't believe we're out of high school now." i said. awsten chuckled, slightly.

"me neither. we're adults and now the word is just open for us to explore. it's insane." he replied.

"i don't even know what to do first. it's overwhelming."

"actually," awsten said, sitting up. "i already know what i'm doing."

i sat up with him, suddenly interested.

"what's your plan?"

"the plan is to move to LA in a couple months. i want a fresh start and i want to make music. maybe start a band. i just know i won't be able to get far if i stay here."

i felt a lump form in my throat as i realized that he planned to leave me. only in a few months. who knows when he'd even come back?

"you're...you're leaving me?" i asked him, fighting tears. he frowned.

"i'll be back to visit sometimes. maybe sometimes you can visit me too. you and i have friends down here too, you won't have to be alone." awsten assured me. i immediately pulled him into a hug. i couldn't help but cry.

"i don't want you to go, aws. it won't be the same without you. i'll miss you so much." i cried. he rubbed my back soothingly.

"i'm going to miss you too, but like i said we'll visit each other."

"awsten i'm-" i pulled away so that my tear stained face met his. if there was ever a time when he needed to know, it was then. "i'm in love with you. i've been in love with you since we were in tenth grade. that's why i don't want you to go. i need you by my side."

"y/n..." his face turned bright red and i could see that he was flustered. "i'm in love with you too. how could i not be? i mean, from the second i saw you at that table that day i knew it was going to be you."

"but you're going away." i frowned.

"come with me."

"what?"

"come out to LA with me. start a life with me there. believe it or not, i need you by my side just as much as you need me by yours." awsten said. i thought hard for a moment. honestly, there wasn't much there for me where we were. maybe if i went with awsten, i would find something good for me in LA.

"okay." i declared.

"okay?" he questioned.

"i'll go with you to LA."

awsten stood up and pulled me up with him. he then picked me up off the ground and swayed me, then pulling me into a hug. but shortly after, he pulled away and kissed me.

"so does this mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend?" i asked him, after he kissed me.

"of course." he confirmed. i couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "now come on, let's go back to star gazing."