Old Scars Future Hearts (JILY)

Chapter 9

Despite the fact that Lily was still eager to talk to James about their relationship, and the fact that she wasn't sure she was ready for one, she barely saw him over the next week. He was busy preparing for the first quidditch game of the term, spending most of his evenings on the pitch with Peter. She only ever saw him briefly at mealtimes and during class which he never paid attention in. So there was never any time for talking, and when there was all he wanted to talk about was quidditch.

If there was one thing that James Potter took seriously it was quidditch. And if there was one thing he took serious enough to get stressed about, it was quidditch - and James was stressed. His usually carefully styled-to-looked-messed-up hair was just messed up and chaos, his hazel eyes that usually sparkled with mischief had dulled and looked tired and he looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

The Friday before the game, Lily finally managed to corner him, before he ran out of the room to skip breakfast for the third time this week. As he tried to sneak out the portrait, she grabbed his shirt sleeve and pulled him back in.

"James are you okay?"

"Yes, fine, I just-" He paused and looked her up and down, as if only just realising she was there in front of him. "I just need some stress relief. I need the world to stop spinning. I need..." He trailed off as his gaze focused on her lips. "I need to not think for a moment." He frustratedly ran through his hair, she knew what he needed, she remembered their last kiss, how the world stood still and she finally felt like she could breathe, she could give that to him.

She grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him down to kiss him with enough passion to make him mindless. His hands went to her hips as he shoved her up against the wall, rattling the paintings, he gripped her tightly against him, needing to know she was real, she was here, keeping him on solid ground.

When her hands snaked around her neck and tugged gently on his hair, he couldn't help the groan that escaped. She felt incredible. For years this is what he had dreamed of, having Lily Evans pressed up against him in the most delicious of ways, and it was even better than he had imagined.

And then she moaned, and melted against him, and he knew he was in heaven.

The clock on the mantle piece chimed eight, bringing them back to reality. James pulled back, but only slightly, their foreheads resting against each other, their lips still brushing.

"Fuck, you are the greatest source of stress relief. But Merlin do you make me more frustrated. Desperate."

"Desperate?" Lily echoed, she was still trying to gain back all her mental functioning after that kiss.

"For you." She wasn't sure what to say to that and luckily he kept talking. "This isn't over. We are definitely finishing this later. But I have to meet Peter at the pitch before potions." He gave her a quick kiss goodbye and then he was gone.

And there as no finishing the kiss later. Just like the rest of the week, they weren't able to get another moment alone. Even when she got back to the heads dorm that evening he was already in his room, the door firmly shut, so she let him be.

Lily woke up in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water, on her return she noticed there was still a soft glow of candlelight coming from James' room. It was midnight, he should be asleep, resting for the game tomorrow. She knocked and when he didn't reply she slowly opened the door. He was on the floor, doing press-ups over a piece of parchment which Lily assumed had some kind of strategy on it. Oh, and he was only wearing boxers.

"James," She said, softly. Despite the softness in her voice, it startled him and he scrambled to his feet.

"If you wanted to see me work out naked, you just have to ask, no need for sneaking around." She couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks.

"I was just checking you were okay, it's late."

"I'm touched by your concern." He stepped towards her. Lily very purposefully kept eye contact with him, restraining herself from glancing at his naked body. "First game of the term doe, I never sleep."

"That's not healthy."

"It's just the first game. Once the team proves themselves, I calm down. Anyway, you're up as well." She gestured to the cup of water in hand, which he took, and gulped down. She sighed, irritated, and turned to leave but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her against his chest. "Don't go." He whispered, sounding vulnerable all of a sudden. "I'll sleep if you stay."

"W-what?" She stuttered.

"Like the kiss." He reached out to rub his thumb across her bottom lip. When had he gotten so close to her? He made it hard to breathe. "You help my mind keep still."

"You promised me a continuation of that kiss." She whispered. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she couldn't believe that she'd say them.

"I know. I'm sorry. And believe me I am desperate to continue where we left off." He leaned forward, so their lips brushed. "But I can't kiss you right now, it's too distracting." His voice seemed to drop an octave. "I haven't been able to focus all day." She felt quite proud about that.

"Then we'll just sleep." She said, taking his hand and pulling him towards the bed, trying not to focus on the fact that he was still only wearing boxers. She climbed in first and he folded himself in behind her, pulling her tight against his chest, he softly kissed her neck "Goodnight little doe."

As soon as dawn was breaking James pulled himself out of bed. It was a struggle to say the least, he wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with Lily wrapped in his arms, but it was the first game of term and he had many pre-game rituals to go through. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and slipped out without disturbing her.

Disappointed, Lily woke alone, but she wasn't surprised. She knew James had a good three hours of rituals he always did before a match and he would be taking them much more seriously for the first game of the term. She got dressed and then headed to meet the girls at the Gryffindor common room so they could go to breakfast and then head to the quidditch pitch together.

"You're cheery this morning." Jen said, as they walked across the school grounds.

"I'm always cheery."

"Not this cheery." Jen muttered, but she didn't push the matter.

Lily always watched quidditch matches through her hands. It was such a dangerous game, and she had every right to be concerned, considering that amount of injuries James had had over the years, including multiple broken bones and a very severe concussion. But today there was no reason to be concerned, it was an incredible game with Gryffindor coming out on top over Hufflepuff and James catching the snitch in a very impressive move.

Lily was cheering loudly with everyone else, Gryffindor pride making her heart swell, when James flew up to her in the stands and swept her off her feet, literally, pulling her onto the broom with him. On their own accord, her legs wrapped themselves around his waist - for stability.

Him and the team would get penalised for their later, and they both could get detention for taking a joyride, but Lily couldn't find it in herself to care. She threw her head back and laughed, her heart lighter than it had been in months and full of joy, James grinned down at her. All the anxiety and pressure that had weighed on him all week was gone, and he was back to her usual care-free mischief filled James. He leaned forward as if to kiss her but she pulled back.

"Focus on controlling the broom." She shouted over the wind, as they raced around the castle.

"Oh little doe, I am a master of this stick." Lily couldn't help but laugh and let him kiss her.

A Gryffindor win and Lily Evans, kissing him on his broom - this was the greatest day of his life.

'Cause this life is mine to live