Worth The Fight ✓

Chapter Nineteen

QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Dedication: @lordpringles (HIS comments make me laugh all the time and omg, a boy reads my story?!?!)

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CHAPTER NINETEEN

"He kissed me."

"Come again?"

"He - kissed - me."

"Shit," he gasps, his eyes wide. Then, he clears his throat and continues. "So Calvin kissed you. Wow. I mean, I've never known that guy had those guts."

I roll my eyes. "He can be such a flirt sometimes, you have no idea." I remembered of how he sometimes made jokes about us - apparently, they weren't jokes.

"What did you do?" Richard inquires, in such a tone as if he's watching an intriguing movie and can't wait for next move. Our legs are crossed on the immensely green grass of the field. Yeah, I am here for his match because he texted me last night after Cal left, insisting on how I should be here for him. Instead of warming up, he is with me, listening to what's happened last evening.

I roll my eyes. "You are worse than the cheers, Ric."

A ghost of grin tugs along with his lips, soon replaced by a determined and serious face. "Tell me."

"I kissed him back." Then, the words Calvin said last night come out of my mouth effortlessly:

"If you want to stay as friends, how do you explain what's just happened, Jack?" His words kept echoing in my head, trying to fathom the true meaning beneath them and form a reasonable answer to shut it. The problem was I couldn't. I remained breathing heavily and keeping my gaze on his chest going up and down unsteadily. I admitted myself he won. He tricked me and I totally fell for it. Jack Pierce lost - but I wasn't ready to admit it yet.

Instead, I looked at his questioning and impatient eyes and did the unexpected, planning to amaze him and maybe, even make him forget about his question. I leaned in once again, cupping his face and pressing my lips onto his. He pushes me softly after a few kisses, his hand hovering at the back of my neck, breathless again. Before he could ask, I replied his question with a hoarse whisper. "I said I want to remain friends." I corrected. "I didn't say I don't like you - that way." Speaking of something rather different than friendship burnt my throat as I gulped the lump down, just because I wasn't ready to let go of what we were.

"Then, why do you keep pushing me?" It was the question of the year, or the century. And as always, I didn't have the answer. I'm the one who looks blankly at questions in exams and give the paper almost untouched. It is totally ridiculous of him to expect me to give an answer to such a difficult, complex question.

"For the best, Calvin," I snapped angrily. "For the best, okay?" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I turned my head at him, meeting his furious eyes. "I can't afford anything serious right now." It was somewhat true. I was too messed up for a serious relationship. Especially with Calvin. Before it could happen, I needed to be a better version of myself. Probably, the best version of Jack wasn't enough for Calvin's standards.

He stared daggers at me before hopping down into my room from the roof. I followed him in, bemused because he was now walking towards the door. "Where are you going?" I yelled after him, bewildered.

He turned and glanced at me, his look piercing into me like a fucking knife. I couldn't breathe right then but I knew I was doing the right thing. I told the truth. I didn't want to get into something serious before sorting out the huge mess inside. I wasn't good for him - but I wanted him so much. My mind still stuck at the kiss, I stared at him, waiting for an answer that would be spilled from his lips. "We shouldn't talk for a while," he said after a minute, his hand on hold and his gaze down. "At least until..." He sighed. "I don't know, Jack, I'm sorry but whenever you say we are best friends, I feel so terrible - I feel guilty that I can't feel that way and keep telling myself it's okay. I tell that at least I'm around you because if I went against you, you would just push me out of your life." He glances up at me with those rueful eyes. "But I can't do this. I can't handle thinking of what would happen if you liked someone else and I'd be still your best friend. I - we shouldn't talk until you decide in what position you want me in your life. Because what's just happened wasn't so friendly."