Worth The Fight ✓

Chapter Thirteen

QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"I'll make sure to keep my distance, say 'I love you' when you're not listening."

― Christina Perri, Distance

Dedication: @nightdrives (her story His Heroine makes me laugh more than anything.)

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Later, Calvin and I are walking under dimlight. A light breeze brushes over my body, and it reminds me of the summer nights. In April, the weather is getting warmer already, and I want summer to come as soon as possible - not that I'll be going on a vacation with my family or friends nor I have an important plan. I bloody want to get rid of school, that is all. It's also my senior year which means I need to make a decision - which probably will be not going anywhere at all. I don't want to study further or specify my education. I don't belong to any of those job branches - I don't fit in. I want to stay in high school if possible.

"What are you thinking?" Calvin asks, his eyes casted on me questioningly. He is walking me home just because Isobel forced us to. Forced me to. Frankly, the conversation went like this:

"It was an amazing evening for me, Isobel, thanks."

"It's been a pleasure, Jack, please come again."

"Yeah sure."

"Calvin will walk you home."

"Oh no, I can walk myself, thanks."

"No, I insist," - she throws a look at his son and the message is taken.

"Oh, I'll walk you."

Here we are. I'm not sure if it is good that he didn't resist but we are talking about Calvin here. He would never miss a chance to spend more time with me.

I answer his question minutes later. "Nothing."

He huffs. Yeah, I am lying but I can't possibly say that I am conflicted about how I feel about him and that I don't deserve him. So it is equivalent to saying nothing in some cases. "You've been thinking," he insists, looking at me.

"Everyone thinks all the time, Cal, it ain't a big deal."

"This is different," he denies. "You were so kind all night. And well, we both know you aren't."

"What did you expect me to? Swear in front of your mother? I'm rude - not mannerless." He is being so ridiculous right now. I know he is digging for some information because he has been constantly asking me the same question about if I'm fine or what I have on mind but solemnly, I won't tell him anything. I'm not an open person, especially in this topic.

"Right," he breathes slowly. "I am sorry." I don't know what he is sorry for but I don't ask why. It feels good to hear that he is sorry. At least he cares. And maybe, I care as well. Despite a tiny bit, I know that feeling exists somewhere beneath my soul or stuck in my bones along with...what elements did we store in bones again? Calcium? I don't remember. Anyway, what I mean is I do care. Even though it is so hard to believe, I do. This is probably the greatest mistake I've ever made. He speaks up again when I don't respond because I am in so depth - and I don't know what to say. It is okay? The question is that is it really okay what I am thinking and feeling? "For asking," he mumbles slowly. "I know you don't like it when people push you to say things but I thought that we are friends," he pauses and his eyes meet mine and I am not sure what to utter once again. We are friends. Maybe the safest definition of the situation. Calvin clears his throat before he continues. "I know that we are friends. And I know that you aren't fine, either." He has a serious expression on his face - that face now shining under moonlight and eyes directly looking into me, making me feel thought-naked under his look.