Five Years Later • JIARA •

alt. 23

Kie's POV:

My mom came over to drop Liam off and she asked, "So, what was the outcome?"

"He's JJ's son" I said trying to hide my happiness in fear of how she would react

She simply smiled and said, "You knew all along, so what now?"

"Not sure, we still have to figure it all out" I replied

Cole came over and said hi and I invited my mom to stay for dinner. She happily accepted the invite and I was going to make something, but she volunteered to cook. My mom had been acting strange ever since she found out I was pregnant with JJ's baby.

She made an amazing meal and she stayed to do the dishes. I got Liam to sleep and I came down and thanked her for everything. She hugged me goodnight and she went home. Cole had already left to go out to the bar. I took a quick shower and I went to bed.

I got up a few times with Liam that night and soon he was already one week old. JJ and I went to his one-week check-up and he was growing as he should be. He was healthy and everything was perfect. My mom invited me and JJ over for dinner tonight with the baby. My dad was pretty quiet, but we made casual conversations throughout the night.

Liam was in a little chair sleeping when he started crying. JJ excused himself and went to check on our son. My mom had bought some baby stuff for her house. This was so odd to me. We left my parents house and my mom said, "Come over tomorrow and we'll go for a walk with Liam"

The next day, I walked over to my mom's house with Liam in the stroller and she was so excited to see us. I was pretty quiet and my mom asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you just seem so happy about the baby"

"Isn't that what you want? A grandma who adores her grandson"

I started crying and I said, "I just thought that because the baby was JJ's and not Cole's that it might make you love me less and love him less because I know how you feel about pogues"

My mom stopped walking and hugged me. She held me tight and she pulled back and looked into my eyes and she said, "Look at me, I could never not love my grandson based on who the dad is and I don't love you any less because of it"

"So you aren't mad at me?"

"You're an adult, Kiara. I can't control your choices and you chose to sleep with JJ and you two created a handsome little boy. I am so proud of you and I love watching you be a mom"

I was crying again and I hugged my mom. I craved her acceptance my whole life and I finally got it. I knew our relationship still needed a lot of work, but this was a good start. We continued walking and she said, "JJ is really good with him"

"Yeah, he is. When he stays over, he gets up with me every single time. He'll bring me water, or snacks, he'll rub my back, and change the diapers. He's been so sweet"

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's because he loves you?" My mom asked and it totally caught me off garud

"Mom, he doesn't love me"

"I see the way he looks at you. I know we don't talk about boys like this, but let's just say that Cole doesn't look at you the way JJ does" She said and then she completely changed the subject

Now, I wondered, was JJ in love with me? I mean it makes sense. But why wouldn't he say something? My wedding was in a month. I couldn't stop thinking about Cole and JJ.

We finished our walk and I called Sarah and asked her to come over. Liam was taking a nap and she walked in and I told her everything that just happened with my mom. We talked about it and she asked, "Do you love JJ?"

"I don't know... Yes, I love him like he's my best friend and father to my son, but I don't know if I love him romantically"

"Only one way to find out" She said giving me the look

"Sarah, I can't do that! I'm engaged to Cole"

"Like that's stopped you before. Besides, I saw the gender reveal video... There's chemistry there, always has been" She said

Cole walked in and smiled and asked, "What are my two favorite kooks doing?"

"Nothing, just some girl talk" Sarah said

"About what?" He asked

"Postpartum stuff" Sarah lied as she left

Cole came over and he kissed me and I said, "Cole, we need to talk"

"About what?" He asked

"I can't marry you and I can't be with you"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not ready to be with anyone. I want to focus on Liam right now. We've been through so much and I just feel like we've drifted so much. Go to Arizona and take that huge promotion, you deserve it"

Cole and I argued and talked and he finally accepted the break-up. I gave him my engagement ring and he packed a few bags. He took an uber to the airport and he said he'd back in a month to get the rest of his stuff. He left and I felt so relieved.

I held Liam as I watched Cole drive away and I said, "It's just you and me, Liam. You're the only boy in my life right now"

I kissed his small head and I finally felt at peace. Cole was an ass and I couldn't believe I stayed with him for as long as I did. JJ was busy this week and I asked him to come over on Friday night. He said yes and was excited to see Liam.

JJ came over Friday after work and he asked, "Where's Cole?"

"In Arizona" I said

JJ and I spent the night with our son. JJ had been staying over here for three nights now and tonight Liam had been up way more than usual and we were both exhausted. The next morning, I woke up and Liam was gone. I knew JJ must have gotten up with him and I went downstairs and sure enough, they were sitting on the couch watching tv together.

"Good morning, I made you breakfast" JJ said and he made me eggs, bacon, and pancakes

"Thank you" I said going to eat

I ate and we put Liam down for his nap. JJ went to workout in the home gym in my house. It was huge and it was Cole who put it together. JJ loved working out here and I walked in there in the middle of his workout. He stopped what he was doing and he asked, "Is Liam okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine" I said

"I just came in here to ask what you were going to want for lunch?"

"Uhh, doesn't matter to me. I can cook too, let me finish my lift and then I'll shower and I'll make us lunch"

Liam started crying and so went to get him and JJ finished his workout. I fed Liam and part of me wasn't ready to tell JJ about Cole. Not yet.

a.n.

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• gap year •